Has it ever taken you some time to realize that you love someone who has been there for a while? One of my friends says that she and her best friend were just that for 2 years while she was hung up on someone else. After she and the someone else broke up, it took her months to move on. As she describes it, one day she woke up and BAM, she realized she was in love with her best friend. They've been together for nearly a year now and couldn't be happier. Now I'm in a similar situation. I met this guy 4 months ago. His fiance broke up with him in August for another guy (whom she had cheated with earlier). He moved from MO to here for school a week later. She was supposed to be attending a different school up here and they were supposed to be living together. She cancelled her admission and continued attending her current school. He wound up in this tiny studio with no friends in a new city which he immediately hated. I met him through my roommate in October and he was at our house fairly often. He wound up coming to my birthday shindig in November, which was a concert where my friends and I got all you can drink treatment, so needless to say, we were all pretty far gone. He and I ended up making out. Next day he came over to watch movies with us and we made out again. He told me he wasn't ready for anything, just wanted to have some fun. I said I was cool with that but that it wasn't going to become a regular thing. We started hanging out a lot after Christmas, but nothing physical. We just have so much fun together. I started to fall for him really hard, and he knows that. But he's always talking about how much he misses his ex, how perfect she was, and how much he still loves her. He even dropped $50 on her for Valentines day and mailed it off with a letter. About 2 weeks ago things got physical again. We didn't sleep together and likely won't because I don't do the casual sex thing and he doesn't push it. We talked about it again and decided to completely steer away from anything physical. He doesn't seem to have the same feelings for me as I have for him. Although he trusts me completely. Has shown me his journals, sketchbooks, and photos that he has never shown anyone before. It's hard to see him in so much pain and I'm the only person he has to talk to about it. I understand that losing a fiance is difficult and it's going to take him a while to let someone in. But what I don't understand is that when I'm with him he's always checking girls out. Talking about how he called a girl that gave him her number, etc. He says he couldn't handle anything serious but that he'd like to start dating again. So is it a waste of time for me to hang around? If he starts a relationship with someone else, and we're still this good of friends, I don't know if I'll be able to handle that. But I want to know if there's any possibility that he's just scared to start anything with me because we're so close and he's still so hung up on his ex. Or should I just get out now, leave him with no one to talk to, and save myself some heartache, so to speak?? Man I hate this crap.
