Top 30 Facts About Chuck Norris

This one's not true. He has twelve rules he lives by:

 

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes Chuck Norris to laugh at him.

 

Chuck norris doesn't need to shower after doing pushups since he perspires mr. clean

 

this thread is amazing

 

its a well known fact that Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Its a pity he has never cried

 

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

 

Chuck Norris's only sexual experiences are maturbation, because there is only one person good enough to have sex with Chuck Norris, and that is Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

 

Chuck norris can bring a horse to water and make him drink.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris; beard, only another fist.

The boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before going to bed.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

ahaha, they made one of these about Jack Bauer(from 24) and some of these have been lifted from that...still good though.

 

Chuck Norris made #4 on Vietnam's 'Top 100 People All Party Faithful Should Hate' list, as featured on VH1.

Chuck Norris' second album, 'From Mighty Hedghogs', featured the song
'To Punch is to Know How I Live', which was later covered by Maroon 5 as 'This Love'.

Chuck Norris once slid down a slide crying "Weeeeee!" Once he got to the bottom, he got up, went back to the top, and slid down again.

Chuck Norris once made a guest appearance on Star Trek: The Next Generation as the Cardassian general Gul Fucku.

 

I can't believe my silly little thread is still going after all this time...

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bathroom in his house. He pees Redbull and shits Powerbars (conveniently prepackaged).

 

i am going to make it a point to read this atleast once a week. i will save a copy of it just as i did with the bloodninja.