how does having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time change your relationship? for the better? worse? what about if that first time is losing your virginity? i wanna hear ANYTHING you guys have to say.
Yes, it does change the relationship. Whether for the better or for the worse depends on the specific relationship and the circumstances. It has changed things for the worse in one of my relationships, but that was because of other issues. In all the rest of my relationships it hasn't really changed anything. If it's losing your virginity, then it will amplify the good or bad change like a million times (if you are a girl). For guys it doesn't really matter. The only advice i can give is to make sure that YOU are ready and YOU want to. Not that you are doing it because he wants to, or because you think you should. If you do it for the wrong reasons it WILL cause bad feelings in the relationship which will fester and only cause problems.
Yeah, don't listen to him (sorry dude). That might be ok for some people, but I think most people would agree that sex is better when you actually have it. Sure, sex is better when you wait, but that only applies when you're real horny and you let the excitement build with the other person until you finally give in. Otherwise, go out and experiment! Life short, you want to make sure you're not missing anything, and every opportunity you waste is gone forever. Getting to know the guy before you jump in the sack can be really good (but so can just jumping in the sack, depending on how both of you are), as you have that trust and intimacy already there. Sex will create a bond between you two, and deepen any intimacies that are already there. If you love each other and you both feel emotionally mature enough, go for it!
I've only been with one person, and that person is my husband. We've been together for almost 10 years. I lost my virginity to him when I was 18 years old, he was 22 at the time. Did it change our relationship? Absolutely. Okay, I'm going to get on my motherly soapbox, and I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I say to wait. You're only what, 16 years old? Do you honestly feel ready? And, if you were to give up your virginity right now, would you be able to cope if he were to break up with you? How much do you feel for this person? Is it more casual, or do you feel like you are in love? I guess it all depends on your frame of mind, your relationship, and your maturity level, however, I don't feel right telling a 16 year old to go for it. Doesn't seem like a very responsible thing to do, and knocking someone for urging someone to wait seems ridiculous. Sure, waiting may not be the norm in today's society, but there's nothing wrong with holding off until you feel emotionally as well as physically ready to take that step. You have plenty of years ahead of you for sex, believe me. {{{Hugs}}}
I havent had sex , but i guess if two kindered souls share an experence like sex and still love each other after it , which i dont see why they shoudnt i guess its a good thing lol.... lol all these threads about happy mothers and such make me depressed lol.
I lost my virginity to a guy who was also a virgin when I was 17. I had extreme sexual tension built up from previous relationships in which the guys never dared to go that far, so it was almost like amazing relief. We had been dating 4 months and were convinced it was love (only to find out it really wasn't...we were both just in love with the idea of love). Our relationship really honestly didn't change that much when we started having sex. It was more intimate and things got more stressful because he had no intentions of staying with me past the summer, but really, I don't have any regrets. The second guy I had sex with...well...I don't really think it changed our relationship all that much, either, except for the fact that when we saw each other, it was no longer just making out and talking, it was making out, then having sex, then sitting completely naked, talking. lol. With my boyfriend now (the love of my life), I cracked after just a week. So we were barely into our relationship before sex got involved, so I don't really think we had much time to build a foundation that could change. But after the second guy, I had made a vow that unless I was absolutely positive I was going to marry the guy, I was not going to have sex again. And I did hold myself to that. Some people think we rushed, but I really don't. We're still together, working on a year in just a few months, and our relationship is still as strong and healthy as ever. So...really sex never changed all that much in my past two relationships, but when I lost my virginity, it did have a big affect on me and made it really hard to let go when he went to college. If someone asked me if I could do it again and wait until marriage, I'd say no. I don't have any curiosity now about what other guys are like, my boyfriend is okay with the fact that he wasn't the first, and I have built up more trust in him than I've had in previous people. So...I suppose it really depends on how long you've been together because if sex becomes a part of your relationship at the first of it, then there's not much that can change. I do still harbor some guilt from the last two guys, but a lot of that is just ideas society has placed in girls' minds. It's okay to go out and experiment if you can handle it as long as you take every precaution to avoid STDs and pregnancy.
Because you are asking this question I feel like you are uncertain of the situation. So I have to agree with hippychickmommy on this one. Don't rush into things because for one thing once you lose your virginity it's gone forever and you can never get it back. I know you are going to have to lose it some time (most people do anyway) but that doesn't mean it's something that you should just throw away just because you'll lose it anyway, ya know? Think about it carefully. It's not a matter of how much in love you are but how ready for sex you are. You can love someone with all your heart but that doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex, ya know? Waiting any amount of time won't hurt anything and it shouldn't. If your guy is pressuring you then that isn't good at all. You gotta do what's best for YOU. And if you aren't ready don't listen to a word he says or else it will ruin the relationship. However if you do feel perfectly ready without a SINGLE drop of uncertaininty than by all means go ahead. Just be sure to protect yourself and use condoms and so on.
all teenagers do it, but you not really ready for it physically. when you get older you enjoy it more and more, and its guilt free, so just wait! foreplay can be great too! for now.
