Life cycle celebrations-daughters

I'm not a big ritual person and my mother never talked to me about my coming of age. That said, I'd like to do something simple for my girls. I was thinking of having just a nice dinner out, ya know, steak and lobster kinda dinner, then come home and have a glass or two of a nice red wine, a shiraz maybe, and watch a super duper kick ass movie. OR, do that once a year starting with my first daughter'n moon, then continue the celerbration once a year and when my 2nd (and 3rd?) daughter(s) started that phase of their life they could just start joining us, focusing on them on they're first year of course.

I've not put alot of thought on it for boys.

 

In my family growing up, the tradition was as follows:
- A trip to the store with mom and older sister(s) to shop for feminine hygeine products and discuss what's used for which, why and how.

- A stop for frozen yogurt and girl talk

- A movie or some such thing

Looking back, I think I could've handled the transition better. I was the sort of girl who dreaded the day my period came, because I thought it would mean I would have to immediately grow up and be an adult. Plus, at the time I was honestly a little creeped out by my mom's excitement. I didn't understand how she could be so... into it.

 

my family didn't do anything special, but i'm not so sure i'd have been comfortable with it if they had. at the time, i was so embarassed and caught off guard by the whole deal that i might have been in even worse shape had a big deal been made of it. up until fairly recently, i was even proud of the fact that i had the power through not eating enough to make my periods go away, preferring to be amenorrhic. lately, though, i've really been realizing what an incredibly amazing, beautiful, and uniquely feminine thing periods are. if and when i've got daughters, i'm definitely going to start discussing such things early...make sure there's no way they ever have to learn about periods from growth and development at school or friends. i went into the experience not realizing it had any sort of special significance, not knowing anything other than what they taught us at school, which i think is sad looking back.

 

Ooo, and let them start selling their crafts online so they can start shopping online by themselves to buy handmade things from her peers online like I do. They could quite possibly be buying their handmade cloth menstral pads from my friends daughters LOL That sounds fun to me

Oh, what I came here to say was that if my mom, being the same mom she's always been to me, celebrated my period in the way I want to celebrate my daughter's, I'd think she was crazy LOL We wern't close though and I plan on being closer to my girls and have the type of relationship where this is talked about years before hand so it's antisipated, it's exciting to wait for it etc...

 

i'm with colorfulhippie on this one, my parents didn't make a big deal of anything, so it would have been weird coming from them. I *hope* that by the time my kids are that age, we're as close (or even closer?) as we are now. I'd like to make every event a big deal, just because that's what life is about, right?

 

I wanted to do something with my dds when they started menarch. When Sunshine got her First Blood, at 9 years old, I wanted a ritual, with planting a rose bush, maybe with her first pad in the ground.

She freaked out. "A ROSE BUSH? Are you nuts? Do you know what my freinds would think? I don't want a ritual. Just tell me how to put on my pad, and I'll do everything else." I was so disspointed. But, it was her menarch. Maybe if she had been older when she started. Moon was 14, but, she was also not interested in a ritual. I don't know where these kids came from.

We have a LOT of books about sex, babies, breastfeeding, menstruation ect in our house. My dds and ds were exposed to Our Bodies Ourselves at an early age. They still refer to this book, if they want to look something up, and don't want to ask or just want to do some private reseach.

My dh took my ds camping, and fishing for a "Man's Outdoor Adventure" when he was about 12. We never did "the talk" as we are always really open about how babies are made, and it was a natural progression. I don't know how Bear decided when to take Lennon out, maybe it was his first shave (we have hairy bodies) or his first masturbation. I figured, with a man in the house, it was a man thing, so I let him do what he thought was important.

I think he gave Lennon a sex book, too. Tasteful, I hope.

 

lol... I doubt any of that would come as a shock about me drumminmama

I'm still working this over. I dunno about a whole ritual or anything, but I want to try & make it kind of cool... rather than scary for her. There's gotta be something we can do Maybe we should go taste-testing at the Godiva shop downtown... heeheehee!
love,
mom

 

Oh yeah, chocolate tasting....any menstrual female, well most anyway, would probably LOVE that

 

I do not see why a period has to mean contributing to animal suffering by eating them (steak/lobster). I do not say that cruelly but it made me sad to read. Blood and more blood.

Regarding celebrations. This is far off, as I only have furry 4 legged kids..what about just a nice party with close friends? Make the whole thing about your daughters and whatever they want to do. What about just the moms and daughters day? Take her shopping or to a movie or something. My family didn't do anything special. You'd have to ask each girl how she feels about it.

 

Great, another preachy PETA nutjob set out to make the rest of us look insane. You're the reason why people are so rude to me everytime I order a veggy burger. Thanks, I really appreciate you fucking things up for the rest of us.

I had a bat mitzvah and a party that had a masquarade ball theme.

 

Eating meat is not cruel. The way corporate farms are run is what is cruel. But that is another thread entirely.

I didn't get anything special for starting my period. And it wasn't a big deal, because I was so used to the whole process that it just became a part of my day from the very beginning. Though, I developed a craving for chocolate like nobody's business, and my mother didn't understand it.

Still to this day (well, July, and then after May sometime), I crave 80% bitter dark chocolate, and it really seems to help with my cramps. better than ibuprofen.

 

Ugh, sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone. I was just giving my answer. We eat animals in my house, and we see nothing wrong with that. We don't have steak and lobster often, actually my kids have yet to have either LOL, but I think a coming of age dinner, for our family, would call for some nice fancy grub like that

 

I actually like the idea...

It's like the beginning of being a grown-up, and so what's better than having an adult meal in a grown-up restaurant.

I think when it comes to my daughter (if a son, it'll be brian's duty), I'll take my cues from her. If she's laidback about the whole thing and doesn't want to celebrate, then I'll swallow my parental pride and just chill. Or maybe take her out on a different context.

If she feels like celebrating, we'll do something special and cool and what SHE likes.

 

That's exactly what I was thinking. We'd get all dressed up, be on our best behavior etc..

 

what's yh?

 

I don't think Pam was trying to come off in a nasty way. She made her point very politely and then moved on. I think there ARE some nutjobs out there but Pam didn't sound like one to me.

When I had my first period I was so ashamed I didn't tell my mom. I scrounged in her bathroom cupboard until I found some old pads and tampons (at that point she'd had a hysterectomy) and used them until they were gone. Then I just used wadded up papper towel until I began getting everything bloody. I was the family scapegoat and I just KNEW I would be teased horribly if it got out. Finally I told my mom and she went and got me what I needed, discreetly thank heavens. I really wish that it could've been a nice happy thing. If I ever have a girl I think I'll just tell her how much I love her without being too soppy, and then do something with her I wouldn't ordinarily. Maybe go get a hotel room and watch movies and drink wine or something. Maybe gift her with a prettily wrapped box of very expensive chocolates. I like all of your ideas!

 

We are what we consider to be conservative christians. That being said, we are not quite typical,or rather, stereotypical right-wingers.
So when one of our girls reach that day, we will all sit down for a glass of dark beer, her favorite meal(I am vegan, personaly, but she is human, and may at this point choose to eat flesh or no-it is a time for decision-making,no?) , and begin a special quilt. It is, as far as her parents are concerned, her first day as a woman. What an extraordinary thing!