i hate when people post "i hate rap" threads

That's fair that you don't like it. I do want to let you know what I appreciate about it though. I know you weren't trying, but I just need to show you these lyrics are not terrible.

"yo yo, yo, yo, i shoot mad people
from a church steeple,
while I smoke mad schwag
til I'm forced to gag,
on the horrible taste of this toxic waste,
so I'll slap you in the mouf and put it out on your face."

ok, lets see... you rhymed,
people/steeple
schwag/gag
taste/waste/face

Your structure is A/A, B/B, C/C/C, with one syllable, done. It doesn't really make sense, and there's no clever rhymes in there. Anyone can do that. When i say that outloud it's got no rhythm to it. now...

apple core/raps galore/at your door/magic sword/exca-li-bor
Travel north/saddled horse/battle course
tap in morse/lack the force
practice more/cat-e-gor
rap for sport/back support
pass the torch/and of course/can rattle yours/ask for more


now that's A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A/A of THREE SYLLABLE rhymes. Now if its so terrible, write 18 three syllable combinations of words, make everyone of them rhyme, make sense, be clever, and have a rhythm to it.
Maybe it's easy for you, but i sure coudln't do it.

 

Getting my improvise explosive manual out.

 

I used to write poetry a lot in college, and it gets wayyyy more complex than "3 syllable combinations of words that rhyme."


And I sure did read that dance with the devil. I'm wondering, how the hell do you relate to that? I'm gonna go out on a limb here jesus the jedi and say you're not black, you weren't raised in the ghetto, pfft, you typed "fiending" "feeding", probably never even seen a junkie on the grime. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong though.

 

yes it does. i can't even talk about that because i don't understand it.
what do you know about rhyme structures?

 

All you need to know really is how to count, and how to think of words that rhyme. Pick out a clever rhyme scheme and start loosely filling in the lines.. then after that edit it and choose your words more carefully, because selection of words is very important dependant on the overall tone of what you're writing. Some words have negative connotation, while a word that has a similar meaning may have a positive connotation. Subtle things like that is what will make what you write good. After you've got a good selection and basic set up, you might want to think of ways to hide messages within the poetry (used to be one of my favorite things to do) using math like every 5th word of each line reads out to one line, some summated message or something, that's a simple one... there's a lot you can do with poetry if you spend time on it and think a lot, way beyond simple rhyme structures. Alliterations are fun, and alluding to things known only within a certain community or group is cool too.

 

True, i dont relate to it, its a song by Immortal Technique, and when i first heard it, i was just amazed, its such a brutal story and put together so amazingly, just because i cant relate to it doesnt mean i cant like it, hell do you relate to half the movies you watch?

and i just copied and pasted from a site so there probobly were a few spelling mistakes.

and yes i have had the pleasure of meeting a few junkies whove lost everything.