Observations

On the 5th floor
being alone in my room
was my haven of safety
I strove for,
independence
On the 5th floor
I closed the door behind me
and let you in
only when it was raining
and boring
I drifted towards
dependence
on
a
man
with a distance
of 2 days
with a distance
of 7 hours
with a distance
of a phone call
during those cold
grey showers...
Early in the morning
raining again
what a shock in the city of Portland
my roommate overbearing
her shrill voice shouting
in the bathroom
Like nails on a chalk board
I glance
at the clock Ive got
4 hours till classes
and 4 hours of sleep the night before
I hush her politely
I've been ignored.
Ive got anger pent up
I kick the door.
The drama major
the queen
of drama
bursts out in a fit
of rage
and exits the room in a storm
of her own, like the weather
is not enough to ask for...
she engages in conversation
with a power above our own--
to make a change.
I am saved now,
rising above that which came before
On the 6th floor,
direction rearranged.
I spend hours making observations
from my west facing window
I see the homeless man
digging through dumpsters
looking for plastic, and
finding recyclables
to make some money to
feed the dog that lies beside him
every day
i pass him
he always sits on the same stairway.
every man has his part
in life's play
this one is
recycling to save his life
to save the earth
he so freely drifts upon
as he wishes
with no
earthly possessions
to tie him down
his community service
frowned upon
looked down upon
maybe I'll invite him up
and he can look me in the eye
and tell me what he has seen
because i only see one angle
of the city
out of my six story window--
i have a long way to fall.
It only takes one slip
and this life is gone, no longer
on the 6th floor
where my door remains open
to those who wish to
share the company
invited in to take or leave it
as they see it
my secret hideaway
suddenly uneeded,
and i make 3 steps towards dependency
on this new family I have come to love
but 5 steps I some how
unconsciously moved
toward the independence
I sought out so intentionally
before.

 

This is the rhythm of your heartbeat I hear, murmurring its song so delicately in my ear, and I'm proud to call you sister.

 

strong and fragile,
and lyrical,
good stuff!