So...there's this guy...

Hehe
I MIGHT have a chance at having a boyfriend in the near future...
But like any high school experience, it ain't easy.
You see, I've heard from his close friends that he is bisexual, which I don't doubt (not to be stereotypical, but he's a dancer-ballet). He is really cool, and is nice to everyone, and everyone seems to like him.
However, I don't think he is very open about his sexuality- for example, on his Myspace site, he doesn't mention that he's bisexual, he instead says that he is straight. This to me means that he isn't ready yet to let everyone know. Also, we aren't extremely close (yet ). I met him through a high school musical at my school, and we've only hung out once outside of school, in town, with others. We say hi to eachother in the halls (lotsa smiling going on), but that's basically it.

So I'm thinking the first step would be to slowly try and hang out more. Now that we've hung out atleast once, and we e-mail, I'm looking to AIM with him, and make plans with him through AIM (we don't see eachother enough in school to make plans, for we aren't in any classes- he's a grade below me). I'm thinking of hanging out with him in town a time or two, I think the first time with another friend, and the second time, just me and him. And then I'll see how it goes from there. I think I'll ask him about his sexuality when it's just me and him in town some time. He's very open in every other aspect (he hugs everyone, including guys, for example), so hopefully he'd open up to me, knowing that I'm gay.

What do you guys think I should do? Does what I have planned sound good? I'm taking it a bit slow I know, but I think that it's good (not only because we aren't THAT close of friend, but also because he wouldn't be comofrtable moving quickly into a relaitosnhip with a guy, since it'd be his first). We seem to get along nicely, so hopefully I could have a nice experience.

Do my plans sound good?
Thanks guys!
cheers and much love,
Dylan

 

Your plans sound great. With situations like these, it's best to take things as slow as possible.

Good luck, and keep us updated!

 

Yup. Your plan is as good as any plan of this nature can possibly get to be. 10/10. No doubt.

Keep in mind that the best way to make it work is to listen to the guy you are facing and try to understand him as much as you possibly can. He, too probably wants to take it slow. But there are exceptions to the popular rules, too. So, if you start feeling that he might wish to meet up without other dudes around, that's fine, too.

You are doing a great job in understanding that unlike yourself, he is not out for whatever his reasons might be. Keep respecting his choice.

Good Luck, dude.

KD

 

thanks guys.
yeah, he seems to be showing some signs in having an interest in me, examples being trying hard to make plans with me work out (its hard for us to hang because he's very involved with ballet dancing, hehe- btw, is a male dancer still called a ballerina? or is there a male version, haha?), and he also apologized extensively for missing a performance of mine (I played piano). I've also kinda "tested" him, and I've been flirty (not extremely, just playfully) and I've also talked to him A LOT, and he doesnt seem to be backing away at all, as if he's weirded out or not interested....so maybe he IS interested? once again, I'm still looking to take it slow. But I think I might skip hanging out wiht him AND another friend, he seems to be readyt o hang with just me. He suggested next wendesday for me and him to hang in town, so it soudns like he wouldnt mind being alone with me.

I think during that time I'll try and ask him about his sexuality. I guess me asking him isn't for verificaition of him being bi, but its more of a way to subtly show my interest...I"m still not sure why I want to ask him...I guess it will also establish how comofrtable he is with his sexuality. I kinda get the feeling taht he WANTS me to ask, beacuse during some conversatoins he's asking me for information about my first boyfriend (i dunno if you guys remember my posts about my german bf from last summer). so he seems somewhat interested, but my judgement is a bit colored from me WANTING him to want me, so who knows?

I guess it all depends on how it goes when we hang out.

Cheers, and any advice would be lovely,
Dylan

 

I dated a dancer and he would have hated if anyone referred to him as a ballerina. It sounds like your dancer is interested and open. That's so cool. I've ruined relationships by wanting to jump into things too fast. It sounds like you're ready for romance, be careful. I'm not saying you should be coy, just concentrate on the friendship part. If you can become friends, and romance is in the cards, then the friendship is what will make it a quality relationship.

I don't like to ask someone about their sexuality until I'm friends with them. But that's just me. If he's asking about your first boyfriend that could be for any number of reasons. Perhaps he just wants to be friends and wants you to know he's cool. Perhaps he is trying to find a way to tell you about himself. Perhaps he wants to date your ex? If he asks about your ex boyfriend, it should be okay to ask if he has ever had a boyfriend or ask what kind of boy he could go for. That would place the question in the same context without being too awkward. And if he says that he would go for a cute piano player, that's when you blush and bat your eyes like mad.

 

Yup, if you are hanging out in town anyway, you do not need additional chaperones. It is completely cool, the way you see it.

Mychal has come up with good advice here. Basically, I am sure that you would be taking it slow, nice and easy (pun intended) but, if he feels free and comfortable to ask you about your ex-bf, you should feel free to ask him equally personal questions.

KD

 

yeah, I'm thinking that myself. There have been lots of great opportunities to ask him about his sexuality while we were online, with the conversations we've had, but I feel like it is somehow cheating by doing that through the internet. I'd rather do it in person, ya know?
Mychal- no he woudlnt be interseted in my ex because my ex lives in Geramny. He was more interested in the relationship and the idea of the relationship itself.

Not much updates with the situation with him- we're still being (it atleast feels like it to ME) flirty-ish and whatnot. If we pass eachother multiple times within a few minutes, he says good morning and smiles widely each time (in return to my huge smile, hehe).

It's all gotta do with time. Like everything else in the world, Damnit. Patience. THats the key word I guess. hehe
I'll have to see how it goes if/when we hang in town in the near future.

Cheers,
Dylan