for awhile my relationship has been bad and i have been in denial about it and today i finally relized that if i dont do something about it i will regret not doing anything. What brought the sudden relization is i took my son to the park told shane,my son is just getting over a cold and its warm out and a little fresh air never hurt no one. Shane had a meeting that he went to and as soon as he got home he drove right over to the park yelled at me in front of everyone disrespecting me telling me that aiden could get even sicker and that he should be home resting then he picked aiden up and left. that is when i relized this relationship is not going to work farely well unless i start making boundaries and setting him straight. he upset me so bad that i started crying
hun you deserve better than that. I've heard alot about him over the past year or so and you really do need to speak up or do something to make him understand your not going to stand for this anymore. Your a great mom and from everything I've heard, a great wife. Good luck.
Me and my ex were in a bad marriage for nearly 20 years before we both realised it could'nt go on and we would have to make the break. If it aint right you have to move on. We did. we are now both in new relationships, Im getting married again in 2 months and our kids are ok with it. Me and my ex get on better now than we did married. If it aint right you have to move on!
Regardless of his opinion, and whether he was right or wrong, he needs to be more respectful. What kind of example is he setting for your child responding in such an angry way to you? How does he expect his child to learn to respect momma with that example? Try to communicate your feelings to him as non-confrontationally as possible, and encourage him to communicate what some of his stresses and problems may be. It seems like he may be stressed, if he is angrier than he used to be...there has to be a reason.
i tried to talk to him lastnight but i was too upset and each time i opened my mouth to speak i would choke on my words. Shane had plenty to say i didn't listen though cuz i was half asleep. but what i did hear is that he called me selfish (like he does every day) and said that i take risks with aiden also i he said that my friedn (jen) is a bad influence for me. i just don't know what to do i fear that this relationship is going to end up like my mothers relationship with my stepfather. yesterday also when he came to the park and told me all that mumbo jumbo he tried to justifiy it by asking my friend dont you think that aiden will get sicker if he is outside instead of at home resting and she disagreed with him. After he left i was sooo upset i was so very close to asking jen for a cigarette and ihaven't smoked in years.
oh sweetie, that's abusive behavior, all of it is, plain and simple. Don't confront him about it, it will only get worse if you do. Go seek the help of a counsellor who is trained to deal with domestic violence situations (even without the physical violence, it's still abuse, and still follows the same patterns). Your local women's shelter should be able to point you in the right direction. You can't convince him to treat you better, you can't change him. He has to want to change, and do whatever it takes to do it himself. But if he's like most abusive men, he will always find someone else to blame for his actions, his anger, his hurtful words and deeds. you can start by reading what this website has to say (((((hugs))))) (edited to change link to a better page to start with)
): This has gone on for years you need to leave him sweetie it;s only getting worse. There are so many nice ones out there...way too many to be with a jerk
Before you do anything else, FF, GET A CUSTODY ORDER!!!!! If you try to leave and he takes off with Aiden and there is no custody order on file, THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO BE DONE!!! Protect Aiden and yourself. That being said, you are worth so much more than what he has told you, from what I have heard over the past year and a half. He's selfish, abusive, and doesn't seem to be that great of a daddy. He's been against decisions you've made concerning the baby based on absolutely no proof or research. And he's made you uncomfortable in what should be YOUR HOME. My advice: Get a custody order and then find a safe place for you and your baby. Nothing will change him, but you shouldn't have to put up with him.
that depends on where she lives. If one parent takes off with a child without the other parent's approval, around here that is known as kidnapping, and is punishable by law. But your advice is right on!! She needs to escape, get a restraining order and protective custody of teh baby. The local women's shelter should be able to help with all of that.
