I lose my erection as soon as I put on the condom

I'm a 22 year old male. I lost my virginity only about 2 months ago. That was the last "successful" time. I've only done it once. I've attempted sex a few times since then, with the first girl, and a second girl. I have the problem each time. I put "successful" in quotes because even on that occasion, I experienced my problem.

Here's my problem: Everything is good at first. Things are hot and heavy. Making out, rubbing, mutual masturbation, oral sex, all the good foreplay stuff. And during this time, I always have an erection. No problems yet. BUT, just when we decide to actually do it, and I put on my condom, my heart begins to pound in my chest, and I lose all focus of the sexuality of the situation. Instead, all I'm thinking is "I'm about to have sex. don't mess it up." And with these thoughts, I lose my erection.

As I said before, this happened the time I actually had sex too. My remedy was to simply force my half-limp penis inside her and move around. This only worked to an extent. I didn't even come. I could tell she could hardly feel it, and as soon as I pulled it out, I went 100% soft.

So what's going on here? It's not impotance, because I have no problem getting it up. I just have a problem keeping it up once I'm actually about to begin intercourse. It's like stagefright. Could it be that I masturbate too much? That's what one of the girls suggested. (I jerk off daily).

Please, someone tell me this a common problem with an easy solution. Thanks.

 

You're nervous, pure and simple. The solution: don't be nervous. Haha, I know it's not that simple. HOW not to be nervous is another matter. I'm not really sure what to say. Maybe some of our Hipforums amateur shrinks can help.

 

Caiman,

What Charise says sounds correct to me; as you work through this you will relax and begin to enjoy. It sounds to me as if, at this point, you are thinking like "the hunter" and you are involved in anticipation; allow yourself "to mess up" a bit, relax, play, enjoy. You will go through all kinds of experience in your life and you will evolve, you will learn and this is good. When you meet someone who you can peacefully and openly share your deepest thoughts with you will then be greatly blessed; and, you can teach others who are open to this through your example.


Peace,

David




.

 

couldnt you just put the condon on a bit earlier not right before your going to out it in her, then if you do loose it a bit then you have time to get it back by focusing on doing some more oral or something, or maybe if she was to put it on you with her mouth or something then it might hel retain your nerve a bit longer,

 

It doesn't matter what I'm doing, if I'm in the mindset of "ok, I'm about to do it!" then I'm as limp as a noodle.

 

Ah, yes, I had this problem a very few times many years ago and it was caused by sheer nervousness. What you have to ask yourself is, what am I nervous about? When I got over what I was nervous about, the problem went away-I don't want to assume that it was the same thing for me as it is for you, however. It was a couple of different things for me, back in the good old days. Now, if you're nervous about your dick getting soft-well, I think the solution to that is to be in a mature relationship where the two partners are relaxed or don't feel pressured to 'perform', things like that. The rule of gravity is 'what goes up, must come down'-the rule of sexuality is 'what went down, must come back up again.' Just relax, it will.

 

That's the truth. You have to be stop worrying about your performance; the only things you should be focused on are the excitement and pleasure you're feeling, and enjoying making her feel good too.

When you're with someone you can really trust, you can talk about these issues with them openly and have sex without the pressure to perform. Its hard to do that with someone who is just a fling. Good luck, buddy!

 

shit man, theres no reason to second guess yourself, I mean hell shes already in your bed

 

take a viagra-it wont go down-trust me

 

I know this has been said before by a number of posters, but you're going to hear it again, anyway... That comes from the nervousness you're feeling, man! I think the best advice anyone can give you at this point is, RELAX. Don't even worry about the actual intercourse giving your partner pleasure at this point, but DO focus on foreplay and such. Doing that will(hopefully) give you the opportunity to let your partner experience an orgasm(or a multiple ones...again, hopefully) before you even worry about your dick doing a good job. Don't worry about your performance. It takes a while to get the hang of it with EACH PARTNER anyway, especially in the beginning.

Good luck!

 

Chill out man, it's just rubber, it won't it your penis