baby needs

I am 20 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow, with my first child. My husband and I are starting to compile a list of all the things a person needs for a baby... crib, car seat, stroller, etc. but we have stalled out.

I plan on using cloth diapers and breast feeding, so diapers and a breast pump will be needed... but I have no idea about bedding, mobiles, changing tables, blankets, and all the rest.

Figured all you parents out there have a pretty good idea of the material things we will need? Care to help us with our list?

thanks in advance

 

Well, I'm on my third, so I can tell you what we've narrowed down as the really important things to have:

Diapers
Clothes...hats, recieving blankets
Sling
Stroller
Car seat

I was working when my first was a baby so I needed a pump and bottles. Check with your insurance, they may pay for some of your pump. They actually foot the whole bill for an awesome double electric pump, I just had a small co-pay like it was a prescription.

We co-sleep and change dipes/clothes on the bed or floor, it's more comfy that way.

A boppy is a nice add on if you've got a few extra dollars to spend

 

Things you can live WITHOUT:

crib (cosleeping promotes bonding and milk supply! If you're uncomfortable with full-on sleep sharing, you can just get the matress put it next to the bed)

highchair (they are expensive and huge--you can get a folding booster with clip-on tray that is both portable and grows with your child; i especially like that it sits on a regular chair, so the baby feels like "part of the family" at dinner)

Playpen (unless you have pets, or will be visiting someone that isn't fond of baby-proofing)

changing table (a pad on a low dresser or the floor is much cheaper and saves space)

Things that are NICE TO HAVE

pillow made especially for nursing, good chair and foot stool if you have the money/space

swing, bouncy chair, exesaucer, etc (even us AP moms get tired arms)

baby tub (you *can* use a kitchen sink, bucket, etc until baby is big enough to sit in the regular one)

stroller (some babies won't sit in one)

Things you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT

carseat (unless you are lucky enough to be within walking distance of everything)

sling or other carrier (unlike a stroller, it can be tucked into a diaper bag, used for nursing, and most of the time you will be pushing the stroller and carrying the baby anyway!)

blankets in assorted sizes and weights (you'll go through alot of these!)

Nursing pads (you can make your own easily), breastpump, lanolin for sore nipples (it happens to the best of us, and is good for all kinds of baby-rashes too)

onesies, pants, bibs, etc (ask around about what the best cloth diapers, covers, etc are, i have no personal experience with those).

 

We also co-bathe, so no baby tub for us here, it's neat and it promotes sibling bonding and hub and wife bonding. You bathe with babe, Dh washes babe, and you if you're lucky enough LOL. It's kinda nice, cause while you and hub are on a sex break, you can still be close. We do this untill babe can sit up on her own, I only need DH's help for a few months though.

I did get a bouncy seat this time around. I don't plan on using it till about 3 months, and then only untill babe can sit up on his or her own. We used an excersauser in the past for this time period, and it worked nicely.

 

These mamas all have it right. The less crap, the better off you'll be! We sleep with our baby. He bathes with me too. The one time we tried to use a baby tub he freaked out! I think it fosters independence, he's not afraid of water at all. Get lots of recieving blankets, the soft flannel ones. They're indespensable. Our guy is just now getting a crib. It will be parked next to our bed with the side down so he doesn't fall out. Before, if he wasn't in our bed, he always used a co-sleeper that was gifted to us, he's too big for it now. A crib is by no means necessary though. When we go out I can fit everything he needs in my purse. Diapers, wipes, dirty-bags, spit rag, sling, toys.

I feel like the more of that extra stuff you have, the more dependent you become on it and the less faith you have in your parenting skills.

 

I got my cloth diapers from wal-mart, and the plastic pants from the dollar store. Making your own baby wipes is easy, though some people just use paper towels and water. I found that having a seat or something for the tub so you can set the child down while scrubbing yourself makes bathtime happier for everyone. Skye loves to splash and play with his rubber duckies. Slings are easy to make also, if you have any sewing skills that is.

 

babies don't really NEED anything but to be comfortable. everything else is for our own convenience. except for the carseat. a decent carseat is a joy to behold. i've got so much stuff from my baby sister that i don't really need, but it's nice. i've got the convertable bed/playpen, the travel set stroller/carseat (which she's already outgrown), the little swing, the papasan chair (which she ADORES, $30 at target), the diaper cart is nice for organization of her clothes, diapers, wipes and all that, and cheap, too. those moses baskets are nice, but i just made her a bed in a laundry hamper that i can put her in when i'm cooking or washing dishes, and she loves it. so cozy. neither of my girls ever took to any bottle nipples, i have to give them milk from a little bitty medicine cup. some comfie clothes for her are essential. blankets you'll get in abundance. if you're not cosleeping, you'll need a baby monitor. but i was never able to sleep well with my girls in another room, it was totally unnatural to me. so many things about attachment parenting and baby wearing make all that other stuff unnecessary. i just wish my girls would tolerate baby wearing. it woulda saved me a lotta stress, but they get claustrophobic of something. no matter what i did. *sigh*.

 

OH! a fold up baby bath is nice for when you're travelling and you don't know how clean that sink is...i'm willing to bathe myself in a potentially unsanitary bath/shower, but not my baby. and since it folds up it doesn't take a lotta space. it's really nice. otherwise i just bring my baby into the bath with me.

 

All the mommas so far are totally right!

So far I have this stuff:

A sling
A carseat
Diapers and covers
Onesies, sleepers, socks, and hats
TONS of blankets
A baby bouncer/bassinet thingy

And yeah, with a couple of babyshowers coming up, I'm sure to get more stuff. Probably most of it I won't use....because I think jazzmama's on the right track thinking that the more you use all of those other things, the more you become dependent and then you underestimate your skills.

As long as baby has a dry booty, warm clothes, and a warm momma, everything's okay.

 

Thanks for the input everyone!

Some stuff I already have... like a rocking chair that my mom used with me. And my Mom has said she will buy us a crib of our choosing (maybe on of those convertable ones that become a bed?). My Dad will get us a good adjustable car seat (that goes from infant all the way to toddler). So basically, the 2 biggest money suckers are being taken care off, eh?

As for the rest of the baby furniture, i have a friend who works and the local Sally Ann/Thrift Store, and she said they have lots of baby stuff and furniture in. I am a whiz with a sander and paintbrush, so I am not worried about reservicing some furniture. I prefer to buy used as opposed to new furniture.

Basically, I most worried about clothes, diapers, blankets. I am totally out of my depth when it comes to babies (last baby I held is my now 18 yr old sister). What makes a recieving blanket different from a regular blanket? I will need a breast pump, but what kind... manual or electric? I have veto'd a play pen, as BJ the cat would just jump in with the little one anyway, and I don't like the idea of penning a kid up... but a swing or chair might be nice.. and I have heard some good things about that Papisan one of you mentioned.

And this sounds silly, but there is no shortage of money on my sides of the family, so cost isn't a big issue. And, we will be having another child, so I would like to buy something that is going to last for at least 2 kids. That makes sence, right?

 

One thing that no one has said yet are burp rags. Get lots of lots of these I use cloth diapers to clean up the puke Or just have your baby wearing bibs. Other wise everyone is correct with what they have said. CO sleeping, co bathing, carseat, sling, boppy, onsies, hats, soft washclothes, baby lotion, swing, teething rings, some simple colorful toys, nail clippers are a must. congratulations and good luck.

 

Also,don't get newborn sized clothes. Chances are, your babe won't ever fit into them. Get 3-6 mo. size for your newborn. I had this sleeping bag thingy for my girls that used to be mine when I was a babe. It has fits on the baby like a jumper but is completely closed up at the bottom. My babies always kicked their blankets off so this was a sure way to keep them warm.

 

For us the essentials came down to:

Diapers
Clothes & several highly washable blankets
Baby Sling (yes, for most AP mamas I would consider that a need & not a want)
Carseat
and a Breast Pump & Bottles IF you plan on being away from baby often; optional if you plan on being a SAHM.

If you plan on cosleeping, a crib is not necessary. With my second I had wanted a Moses basket, but couldn't afford one... I ended up lining a large laundry basket so she had somewhere to sleep when I needed to be with my son and it worked just fine. A warm blanket on the floor works just as well so long as there are not pets or other small children running around though.

Receiving blankets are SO easy to make... get a yard of soft flannel from the fabric store & have someone who sews double-fold & hem the seams for you. You can find good, warm flannel for $2-3 per yard and have bigger, longer lasting blankets for MUCH less. We used them for absolutely everything and found that 6-ish was about right.

If you plan on cobathing, a baby tub is not necessary either... though they do make things easier since your husband doesn't need to be there to help you with bathtime. (we used the sink lined with a towel though )

And I second or third skipping a changing table. Putting a pad on the dresser works just fine for a fraction of the cost and you won't have a huge piece of furniture to get rid of later Also, you can flop a changing pad down on the table, kitchen counter, sofa... anywhere at all so you don't have to keep running back to one spot to change the baby.

Wipes... another easy one to make. If you want disposable ones, you can use paper towels with a spray bottle filled with water & a few drops of baby shampoo & oil. (the bottle works better than a box of prewetted wipes, as they never dry out) If you want cloth ones, get a yard of terry-cloth & cut to whatever size you like best. You can serge or stitch the edges if you feel like it, but my sewing machine was broken when I made mine 6 years ago & I never got around to it... they're still here, and never frayed.

Now once your baby gets bigger, some sort of high chair is gonna come in handy. I prefer the portable ones too for all the reasons already mentioned. A swing or bouncy chair or playpen or exersaucer or SOMETHING to contain a crawling/toddling baby while you're cooking dinner is pretty nice to have too. My kiddies liked the exersaucer-like things for that but would scream bloody-murder when my mom put them in the lovely playpen she picked up to stay at her house.

If you have stairs, gates are a must. Ditto things like electrical outlet plugs. I learned while babysitting that most kids learn how to pull those out though... I would HIGHLY recommend getting the safety outlets and installing those instead. It'll cost about $1.50 per outlet, but I feel it's money well spent as I never had to worry about what would happen the one time my guard slipped around an open outlet.

And a stroller is gonna be needed at some point too... Probably at around a year or so, since it sounds like you plan on AP. When you get ready to get one, go to the store and make sure that you can fold it up and lift it to waist-height without any problems at all. (so you can get it in & out of the car on your own) If you don't mind looking like a fool, I'd try doing that with a heavy diaper bag on one shoulder, just to make sure. It sounds funny, but getting a big stroller in & out of a car can look like a contortionist act if you're new to it. I wasted literally hundreds on two different expensive models before realizing that a sturdy umbrella stroller with a strap-under basket was all I really needed.

Other than that? I'd make up about a week's worth of dinners a month or so before you due-date, to help get you through those first days of insomnia & discomfort. All the rest of the "baby stuff" out there is designed to help you out with something you could do just fine without. If you absolutely must have one or two of those things, (and what pregnant mama doesnt ) go ahead and indulge. But honestly, the less you get the more you will learn to rely on your natural parenting abilities.

Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
love,
mom

 

I might sound stupid for this, but what is an "AP mama"?

 

Attachment Parenting.

 

The recieving blankets are those smaller really soft thin flannel blankets. They are often used as burp rags. Thats what I use them for. You can get them in the aisle with the baby stuff or just make them!

 

thanks again everyone!

While I am strongly drawn to the ideas behind AP, it may not be possiable. My husband and I are in the middle of a rather unique set of circumstances. My husband is American, I am Canadian.

Once finding out I was expecting, we made the choice that he would immigrate to Canada, as I wasn't all that keen on raising children in the middle of the urban-sprawl-shopping-mall madness that is Cinicinnati... no offense to anyone from that area, it just isn't what I wanted my and my kids life to be like. I grew up surrounded by farmers fields, in a small, small town.

So, all that being said, I will probably have to go back to work soon after the babe is born. My husband probably won't have his work permit yet. Its no big deal, as I live in a small-ish town right now where nothing is more that 5 minutes away, so he can bring the baby over for a lunch time feeding, and the rest of the time we can express milk. There isn't such a big deal over "nipple confussion" now, is there? At least, i haven't heard much about it of late.

My husband is fairly liberal, but not at all "hippie". I have gotten him in sandels and eatting veggie burgers though.. a big step! haha. He is uncomfortable with the idea of AP, well.. co sleeping for sure.. because he has no real newborn experiance and is afraid he will roll over on the child (he has rolled over onto the cat before). But, the baby will spend at least part of the night on my side of the bed... me, the baby and the cat all in half the bed... as it is easier for breastfeeding.

What would you recommend to help my husband feel more secure in his baby-skills? He is really nervous about being a SAHD!

(sorry, just realized this is rather longwinded, but I wanted to explain why AP might not be an option for us with this child)

 

Receiving blankets: The all-purpose blanket/burp rag/ wash cloth for spills/ shading for the discreet breast feeder....

 

I always slept with my newborn on my chest. Arrange your bed to where he won't sleep next to her. Just because he is uncomfortable with cosleeping, why should your babe be banished to a crib?

 

AP is always possible. Even if co-sleeping isn't....But if you arrange for the baby to sleep next to you, but not next to dad, it's possible...and there are safety rail thingies so that baby can be in bed with you, but you can't roll over on her...They cost considerably less than a crib ($40 american at Babies'R'Us).

Brian's not been keen on the idea of baby sleeping with us...same reasons...but it's a good thing to at least try...especially to keep your milk supply up by night feeding...