Nice Guys Finish Last?

I'll do ya'll a favour and sum it up:
- Nice guys to often "plays it safe", not to lose'em and ironically enough they lose the chick(s).
- Bad boys/players experiment(/play) with chicks and get better results
- Confidence is good. Bragging and abuse is not. I guess we all agree there
- Have fun!! It's not a chore, and you shouldn't act as if it was!
- Have a positive attitude.
- You should have this attitude: not . Get me? (Smilies are fun...)
- Don't get too hung up on the chicks you can't get. It's not attractive to chase a woman.

Peace, fun and luv!

 

That's 3 week old Patch (born on 10/18). So far he can prop himself up with his front paws but he still hasn't developed the strength to stand up and actually move forward with his back paws. I was rather amused when I watched him this morning and he discoverd that if he stretched out his back paws he moved faster going in reverse. Once he discovered this he was really moving.

But onto the topic at hand.

 

Nice guys dont finish last the just start slow. most of the time when your young you are either a nice guy who trys to be sensitive and they miss out on many of the wild wonderfull things of youth. Or a wild child who does all the wild wonderfull things of youth. I am a nice guy i dont regret it i am in a wonderfull marriage and have a great life. The only thing i wish was that i had been more wild when i was younger, experienced a few more thing. But i would not chage a thing if it meant my life now would be different.

 

Very good point.

 

You, Lodui, and whoever said it was assertiveness that is attractive, get it. Authenticity is also attractive. If a guy is open and in the moment, relaxed yet focused, that is SO attractive.
I agree with what a few people have also said, that the 'nice act' is often very manipulative. I seemed to attract guys like that a couple years ago. "You are the ONE... I'll never love any girl as much as I love you. Those other 44 girlfriends I've had were nothing compared to you [yes, he said that. Called me 33 times in a week, too...]." Anyway, I've grown up a little and can now filter out any potential relationships that involve 'the nice guy act.' ugh.

LOL, what did you think school was for (besides babysitting, that is)?

 

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i started this thread quite a while ago, knowing that this "Nice Guys Finish Last" philosophy will affect me twice as bad when i hit university.

well i was right...after leaving high school..and having the first month of uni, it has been more evident than ever.

what the hell do i do? seriously....do i do what the ppl in this thread said? act like an asshole and objectify women? coz i dont think i can do that, which means what for me...i end up alone until im 30 until women realise nice guys may be a better choice?

some advice please...this isnt just for me...i know there are lots of others in this same situation and want to break out.

and if you dont know what im talking about...neither do i any more

 

The pure nice guys, the ones that will be a gentleman at all times will finish last until they find a lady. A lady is diffrent then a women. A lady is kind, curdious, and respectful to all. A women only has half thoughs qualities. Any of thoughs nice guys who are gentlemans you need to look for a lady instead of a women. A women will tear a gentleman apart. Take it from a player

 

Seriously...what girls are you GOING for?

 

I think i'm a bit old for that shit now....bad boys? ...please!
If you think about it, all this 'good boy'-'bad boy' stuff is such bollocks.
how can you be attracted to someone who'll treat you like shit int he first place?
geez man.

 

I'm still attracted to guys that will treat me like shit.. I just have enough confidence to know that there are better guys out there who will treat me well, and are attractive.

Since you asked, Elconejo, here's some advice.

If you can figure out how to be assertive, how to laugh at yourself and just be ready to laugh in general, all the while really listening with your heart, you will emanate those qualities, and, as arrogant as this sounds, everyone is attracted to these qualities whether they know it or not. By the way, these qualities aren't, in my experience, found one day... you build them up and keep open to them. The people who are more in touch with these qualities within themselves, will recognize them more easily. That means that the girl you will attract will likely be lighthearted, loving, and sexually confident.

Get comfortable in your own skin.



Hikaru Zero, how's your life purpose unfolding?

 

hey look who's online...
LoL, shouldn't you know?

 

If I told you that I found those qualities like confidence to be disgusting (in the context of finding a romantic partner), would you believe me?

I'll agree with a few here who said the dilemna is "confidence versus lack thereof" and not a matter of "bad guys versus nice guys". Not all underconfident folks are nice either.

Lack of confidence isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. A lot of people fall into this trap of thinking that every human being on earth finds low confidence unattractive or a "bad" thing. It's dependent on individual preferences; just that the vast majority of people and their individual preferences enjoy confidence. I'll be forthcoming here and I will say that I find confidence in a potential female partner to be repulsive - I like shy, quiet, introspective females. That's just me, though.

At any rate, the rationale I use is that if the woman isn't attracted to me, she isn't the type I'd want to be with anyway. And, in the context of this discussion, if the a potential female partner thinks non-confident guys (such as myself) are boring or unattractive, then it's a strong indicator that she isn't someone worth wasting time on.

 

Mm, again, there definitely is a difference between confidence and assertiveness. The attractive quality I'm trying to pinpoint is almost neither, but more like assertiveness. It's like one can sense that the core of the person isn't self-damaging.. it's self-supportive.
It's possible to be shy and introspective and be that way. I find shy, introspective girls attractive, too. Like Brian said, confidence doesn't have to mean 'loud.'

 

i'm a nice guy...going to college parties and what not, tempted me to change, but i didn't. i'm so glad i didn't, because now, i'm in a relationship with a beautiful woman, who i care deeply for...

just takes patience and getting to know someone...don't worry, you'll find someone that fits your needs.

 

Personally, I like guys who give off that bad boy image, but have a soft spot for me. Makes me feel special. Just because they seem tough or mean to someone else doesn't mean they are to their girl and I think that's what truly matters. The way you treat her is the ultimate factor, not how much you've rebelled. Rebellion stories do make for interesting conversation, but really, that's about it. Though I do prefer guys who do drink and do or have smoked pot, simply because I drink ocassionally and have been high a few times in my life and I'd rather feel like I'm not being judged. It's difficult to relate to someone who hasn't done the same stuff you have, especially if they have pre-determined opinions of it. Basically, what I want to convey is, nice doesn't finish last, boring and judgemental does. Remember, there's a difference between a bad boy image and an abusive male.

 

Quite true. Don't over do it. Its the difference between telling her you don't usually date blonds because you have few guarantees that she actually is blond, and telling her you don't date blonds because theyre stupid.

 

So true, girls want to breed with a bad boy because it is human nature, they feel that if they have a baby with a bad boy, the baby will have strong survival skills. Guys want to breed with a pretty girl, they think that their baby with her will be beautiful.

 

yep i would know because i'm one of the "nice guys" that doesn't get laid or meet any girls that dont want to be more than friends

 

I've had several relationships or encounters with men who were (at the material time) considered to be a bad influence, in trouble with the law, that kind of thing. Two of my exes were extremely spiteful and vengeful so after my last relationship ended I thought to myself that I would accept a relationship with a "nice but dull" kind of man because I was sick of being treated badly.

As things turned out, the man who I'm with now is a rare breed. He is one of those nice guys ... honest, sensitive, dependable and very kind ... but he has a wicked sense of humour, is a mix of gothic and hippie in personal style, he composes wonderful music and he has a kinky dark side to him which enthralls me.

To all nice guys ... we salute you!