Ok Im going to try to explain my situation and hopefully this board can help me out. I am very good friends with this one girl. I have known her since I was about maybe 5 and I am 18 now. She has always gone to school with me and we have been friends. About 1 year ago we started to become really good friends. We would call each other and joke around, just typical friend things. We both have different groups of friends, but at the same time there are a few friends we share and that is how we hang out. Recently we have been doing things together in our "shared" group. If there is anything between us, I have no idea really. I dont think there is any strong attraction, but then again I have no idea. Now for another part of the story. Recently she told me of a friend of hers (who is also a guy) who has tried to put moves on her. He is friends with her just like I am, but she won't allow it to go any further. Things became akward between them. She just wanted to be friends, and he wanted more. I recently started to grow feelings for this girl. I see her as my friend, but there is something inside of me that wants us to be closer. I want to tell her, but I am scared that it might turn out to be like the other situation that I explained before. I don't want our friendship ruined because of me. Now I have dated before, so its not like asking out a girl is new to me, but this is a different situation. I was planning on saying something like this: You are a great friend of mine, and recently I have been growing feelings for you....feelings closer than friendship. I know that you have been in this situation before with a friend and things turned akward between you two, and that is not what I want. I wanted to know if you would go on a date with me and see what happens....if you feel akward anytime during the date, then we can just go back to being friends. I feel that we are both mature enough where we can make it work as friends if the date does not work out. Of course this is not exactly what I am going to say, but those are the major points. Any suggestions?
heh, i'm a sucker for falling for close friends, and have had to stumble for words..twice!!! anyway, both times i knew it wasn't gonna work, and i wasn't too bothered, i did it so that i could remain super close friends with them make sure she realises that your friendship means the world (which by the sounds of things it does). say that you want to tell her this, so that if she doesnt have these feelings for you, you can remain close friends and have nothing between you (you probably feel right now this is something between you...it could build up). i wish you all the best, good luck!
usally starting relationships from friendships is very okward. try letting her know that you are interested in her just by flirting. you should get green light or a red light before too long. I hope you can be satisfied either way. and about that speech at the bottom of the post that's a lot to lay on a girl aat one time. hope I helped.
This has happened to me before as well. I'll explain. Once you get into a friendship for as long as you have like this, it is really hard to start an actual relationship based on how awkward it would feel. This could go one of two ways. It can go really well, and a wonderful relationship could follow BECAUSE you are such good friends, or, it could just be way too awkward, which it usually is, and you'll just have to remain friends. If I were you, I'd say something, possibly indirectly, but don't push it too far all at once. She could find it too overwhelming at first. Take it slow, and remember to always still be a friend to her. Best of luck, man.
I understand why you say it might be overwhelming, but.......see flirting with another random girl I can do. If I get a negative response, I stop. This girl is different though. I can do the same things to her (flirting wise), as I do to other girls, and it seems as if shes responding. I dont know, however, if that response is do to our friendship or not. Like to a random viewer, who doesnt know me or her, it would seem as if were flirting. But I dont think we are......I dont know....its complicated but stuff like this always is. You think me telling her that I have feelings for her is to strong? I have always thought that being direct was the best way. I understand there are certain suddleties...which is why I wanted to add in the part that if things get akward, lets just drop the idea. I can deal if she doesnt want to create a relationship.......I would still be her friend. I just hope that she wouldnt be akward around me. This has been bugging me for a while......If I keep this inside...it will bug me for a long ass time....like instead of concentrating on being friends with her....Ill be concentrating on what might have been. Hopefully you all are seeing where Im coming from, I am assuming that there have been people have been in this same situation before. I also dont want to take the flirting too far due to her other friend. He tried to make some advances, and that is what made everything akward because it came out of no where. Any other advice?
not really advice, but i'd like to share with you this email forward my friend sent me ages ago.... thankyou flannery for sending me this...it has helped me at times
That would be the ideal situation, but that does not always happen. But I see where your going with this.....I'll never know unless I try. I just need to find the right words to express what I feel without being too strong....but of course there are no right words.
