Hello every one. I am very into attachment parenting. All my family and alot of my friends do not get it and think my children are too attached. They are 3 and almost 1(very young I think they should be attached to their mother). I am curious to hear from other people who co-sleep/family bed. I have no problem with us all sleeping together, I am just curious how other children were as they got older? When did they want their own bed?(my children have their own rooms we just dont use their beds) Am I causing them to not be able to sleep alone? or does it cause them to be more secure? I know we fit now but we all wont when there teens. Any info on co-sleeping would be great thanks.
They "disengage" when they need to. My oldest is almost 20 years old, and, um, doesn't sleep with us. LOL! My kids wanted their own beds at different ages, we coslept, but always kept a crib onhand, as we sleep in a waterbed and needed somewhere to put the babies when they were maybe alone in bed. My kids are very well attached and also very independent, when they get old enough to be on their own. Age doesn't matter. Every well attached child will learn independence the healthy way, if they are attached properly in the first place. My youngest is 6 and loves her bed. She occasionally comes into bed with us. She got her Big Girl Bed around 3, I think. My second one was the one who needed to be in our bed the most. She's a cuddly child, and needs a lot of physical contact. She cried when we took down her crib (an other baby on the way) and then spent a lot of time with us, in our bed. My oldest was very happy to have her own bed at 2 (with occasional visits in the mornings) and would sleep in a sleeping bag on our floor if she wanted some extra time with us, or was scared at night. She is NOT a cuddly child, rather on the tonic side. My son (age 14) was happy to get his Big Boy bed at about 3 and, again, came in with us when he needed to. Follow your instincts mama. It is hard to sometimes deal with "freinds" who just don't get AP, just use your beautiful children as examples, and that is all you will jneed.
i just think putting your baby in another room is plain senseless & unnatural, i don't get it. we all sleep so much better in one room. especially with all the moving we did, my oldest was very insecure & needed at least that one thing. she sleep wallks, too, so having her where i can hear & see her helps me sleep much better. as such, kai never once suffered from seperation anxiety except when i was in the hospital for a few days. kai is so sure of me that she doesn't understand why kids cling to their parents. shyness is not in her vocabulary.
My son co-slept with me until he was about 5. On occassion we still get visits but he independently decided it was time to sleep in his bed
My "big" kids have a bunk bed in another room, and the baby sleeps in the bed with us. Ryvre (4) sleeps in his own bed every night. When he was about three, we told him he was a big boy now, and needed to sleep in his own room. He fussed a little at first, but he only slept with us occasionally anyway, so he didn't seem traumatized by the change. It was selfish, but my husband and i were mostly just tired of waking up covered in pee. At least in his bed it's easy to clean just him when he has an accident. Willow (2.5) starts out in her bed (if i lay down with her until she falls asleep), or on the couch. During the night she climbs into her "little bed" which is a crib matress on the floor next to ours. Our plan was to put the baby on that next to us, but apparently Willow wasn't ready to give us up yet, lol, which is fine for now. We would like to get rid of the extra mattress soonish, but we're being patient about it.
Since the split from dh, we've been doing a little extra co-sleeping. Mostly, it's me asking them if they want to sleep with me! My 7 yo sleeps in her own bed 95% of the time. My 3 yo usually sleeps with me,but she has her own bed that she likes to sleep in too.
My brother and I always had our own beds, our mother was one of those crazy people who didn't think cosleeping was a good thing, but they ended up letting us sleep in their bed when we felt the need. Think I quit when I was about ten, and maybe a little bit later for my brother. Am planning to get this cosleeping thing right with my own children, and do it from day one until they choose to sleep alone.
My littlest one does not like being snuggled at night, and usually sleeps by herself (she is 2.5). My older child (turns 5 this month) sometimes sleeps with us, and sometimes by herself, and sometimes with her sister. Our plan is to eventually have three beds, in our three bedrooms, one king, one queen, and one full size, let everyone sleep wherever they want to and see what happens. I'd like for the entire family to sleep in one bed together, but that probably won't happen since DH and DD1 both squirm and kick around a lot in their sleep, I'm cold natured and always snuggle up close to keep warm, and DD2 is always getting overheated and prefers to sleep alone and without any blankets.
kai has worked her way from sleeping crammed up against me at all times to just wanting me to hold her hand while she goes to sleep to not wanting me to hold her hand. she's getting her way out of the needing mommy.
I remember when I was little, I had my own bed, but for a good chunk of time, I slept in my parents' bed between them. They'd just send me off to Nana's (my mom's mom) for the weekend when they needed a bit of alone time, lol. I'm not sure how young I started because I slept in a bassinet when I was a newborn and a crib when I got a little older, but we had a cocker spaniel that was my comfort and security guard. He slept under my bassinet/crib and when I even stirred, he'd get up and immediately go find my parents and demand they come "fix" me. He died when I was about 3 or so, so I figure that's around the time I started sleeping in my parents' bed. When I was 4 and Mama got pregnant with my little brother, they sat me down and explained to me that I was a kicker and that I couldn't share a bed with them anymore so we could keep the baby safe, so they compromised with me and built a cushy makeshift bed in their walk-in closet and I slept there until I was 6 or so. I'm not exactly sure how old I was when I stopped sleeping in their room, but I'm almost sure it was before we moved, when I was 7.
We coslept with both of our kiddos. I didn't know there was a name for it when we started 10 1/2 years ago. I accidentally fell asleep with my son one night in our bed, and felt so refreshed the next day that we did it from there on. And we've never looked back. Both of my kids have had their own bedroom & bed since they were 2, but neither of them wanted or used them until they were 4. My son is 10 1/2. He moved into his own room at about 4 1/2 and has only climbed into our bed during thunderstorms or after nightmares since then. He didn't like sleeping in the same room as his baby sister, and moved shortly after she was born. He's quite independent, and has always loved having his own room to go to... even while he was still sleeping in our bed. My daughter just turned 6, and still wakes up between 2 & 3am to come into our bed two out of every three nights. She has had night terrors in the past, and sleepwalks as well. I honestly don't know if she's awake or not when she climbs into bed with us, and frankly I don't know that it matters yet. If she is still climbing into our bed at 8, then I will work on figuring it out but for now she still seems to need that extra connection to her mama. The funny thing is that it's my daughter who is more outgoing. When we are with other families, she will take off and go play with the other kids while my son hangs back near me and just watches before going to play quietly with one or two other quiet kids. So somehow even though my lil one still needs her mama at night, it doesn't seem to be harming her in any way. love, mom
