What do you guys make of them? Apparantly there's a huge suicide rate among Muslim women here in the UK, because they've been forced to marry a man that they don't know against their will, who has turned out to beat and rape them constantly. My best friend is a Muslim woman that is being forced into it by her father, although she is fighting it (she is deeply unhappy). A lot don't have a choice. How can a young woman be forced into marrying someone she doesn't even know? And by her own parents. In this day and age, should this be happening? Am I nuts, or is this just the most inhumane thing ever?
its tricky, I know some people who have been forced into this type of marriage the thing is if you have parents like that , if you disobey them there are quiet a few cases of them killing their children in honour killings . I think that the suicide rate is something like four times higher for asian girls than white girls in the uk , also this doesnt take into account the number who just disappear who is some cases get killed and the murder is covered up by family . Ive never been in that situation, what I would do is suggest they talk to some people who have gone through it there are some girls on faithfreedom or maybe on apostates of islam that might be able to help . post about it in their "a muslim in the family" I think it is forum on faithfreedom also talking to the social services there are domestic abuse refuges that the girl could go to but this doesnt allways solve the problem in that their family may still try to kill them for family honour . things I would advise is keep your passport and dont under any circumstances go abroad , a common ploy is to get the girl into another country and then marry her off against her will there, then she will often find it very hard to come home as her husband will have her passport . at least in the uk she should in theory have the protection of the law
Arranged marriages are also very very bad in India. I have heard of woman being tortured by their families in law, and eventually being doused in very caustic acid.
The sad thing about this is that the parents control is so overwhelming that the law doesn't even become a factor. They have to obey or else.
well things could get worse for her in that her husband may be a real bastard one of the ladys I know was thrown out of a moving car thats in the uk . so if she runs away she could be in trouble if she stays she could be in trouble in the uk if it was me Id run . but the thing is there are lots of cases of girls being asked to come back and talk to her family so they can make things ok between them but really its a ruse so they can kill the girl
It doesn't matter where you are, if you are in any kind of abusing relationship you really need to find help. I feel terrible for the people who live in places where they can't get any. There needs, maybe, to be established a human rights help center in majour cities all over the world. Things aren't okay a lot of times, and there's nothing that can be done about it. People need to be given that option.
Ok, I see your point, but I'm gonna have to quote Cat Stevens here "It's irrelevent" lol. Of course there are abusive relationships all over the place. But arranged marriages are a practise that is designed to trap women who have no say whatsoever over who they marry. And if they betray they could be killed in a "honor killing". It's designed to pair strangers together. And another of the reasons is to squeeze immigrants into already over populated countries. Something else, that Jonny brought up is that Muslim women in this country have a suicide rate 3 or 4 times higher than white women. This is a serious problem in the British Muslim community, and it's a fact that most are not happy about this. Rabbits if you agree on nothing else with me, you must admit this is inhumane? I understand there are horribly abusive relationships in other families, but they are not practising that under the name of Allah.
Yes, of course. I wish I could discuss this with you guys, but I'm feeling a bit...light-headed I think I'm going to go now. I'll see you guys, uhm- later. Grouve on, and Feel the Loves, all of you ~Kharmi
I agree, this is a sick custom but would you mind explaining to me why you chose to put this thread in the islam (even though islam forbids it) forum when its practised not due to religion but because of a certain culture? With other words, youl find this custom in certain areas equally practised by the different religious group present their, thus this thread could min as well be posted in the christian section since arab and indian christians under these particular socities practise it.
Maybe so, but the reason I posted it here is cause it's a real and very common problem in the Muslim community where I'm from (London). It's like I say, I personally know a Muslim girl in this predicament and she's very close to me. That's why I chose here to post it. I don't mean to accuse one particular religion, and your post has cleared that up. But if Islam forbids it, why do so many Muslims practise it?
Bad trait of culture that have been preserved despite religion. Its a clear issue without any "unclearness" as might arise in other circumstances but a clear statement, the following just to chose a few; Narrated AbuHurayrah: "The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: An orphan virgin girl should be consulted about herself; if she says nothing that indicates her permission, but if she refuses, the authority of the guardian cannot be exercised against her will. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2088)" Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)" And in the famous verse: "O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)" Hows london, ive heard its been facing drought these days?
