Acceptance from the Familiy

This is an issue with many people, Buddhist and non-Buddhist alike, where they have been raised to a certain religion, come to practice another, and have to somehow find a way to tell their parents. I posted this thread not only for my own personal problem with this, but for anyone else having the same difficulties, so I encourage anyone else to share their problems/situations as well.


I have been a Buddhist for about nine months, and although I found my self recklessly tossing the word around in school, I have never told my family. My mother is Italian and raise my brother and I Roman Catholic. I have decided to go through with my Confirmation although I am really a Buddhist. Because of this, I planned on telling my parents of my religious orientation sometime after my Confirmation. This seemed to be a good plan, unti I noticed some of the difficulties I have been having with my family, especially my mom.

In regards to whether she already knows I am Buddhist, I don't know. I did a paper on Buddhism v. Communism in the Tibetan/Chinese conflict, and sometime during the month in which I was writing it, she had a strange mini-conversation which is vague in my mind but ended with her saying that Buddhists are nice and all but some of those practices "are way off the deep end" and nervously finishing with, "Besides.....your a good little Catholic girl", nervously laughing.

Regarding my father: Almost all of my favorite links on my computer regard Buddhism, Meditation, or Yoga. My father has gone on my computer a few time and saved a few bookmarks of his own, so I know he has seen the links. He hasn't mentioned them to me, and I don't think he really cares


(Sorry, I know I am rambling) The reason I have been inspired to create this thread is because of a recent incident. My friend Jenny who I did a volunteer program with a few weeks ago (and mentioned that I was a Buddhist), came over to my house with her mother (a friend of my mother's) recently. They talked about boring stuff for awhile until, when talking about Jenny's drama camp, mentioned a play that was going to be put on based on a Buddhist story. Immediately when she said the word Buddhist she pointed to me and said if she had an extra ticket she would invite me. For the rest of the time they were at my house I was sooo anxious, nervous, and worried that they would mention Buddhism again, assuming my mother knew.

Today, I heard the doorbell ring and my mother answered. It was Jenny's mother. I heard the entire conversation, including the part where she said that since her husband was going on a Zen retreat, she wanted to invite me. My mother said she would ask me and they said goodbye. My mother didn't mention the visit until an hour ago, when when she was reminded of it from something on TV. All my mother said was that the woman came over, and that her husband was going on a Zen retreat (only mentioning the latter expecting that I would laugh at it, as she would). she never mentioned the tickets and I wonder if my mother is trying to prevent me from getting involved in Buddhism. (Ahh I rambled on soo much =/ so sorry).



Anyway, if you could stand all the random ramblings, basically I am just wondering what to do about this whole situation.


Namaste,

Diana

 

Meagain is right you know.

I find that Buddhism complements other religions because basically its more a way to view reality than to get caught up in it. Some take it on as a religion, but it's not really necessary. I guess it's because some people think you need a religion.

Lama Surya Dass is Jewish, but he's also Buddhist. There are many Buddhist Christians (or Christian Buddist, however you wish to arrange the wording), Buddhist Jews, etc.

For the most part, practicing Christianty because you live in a Christian home is a precious benefit. A chance to learn. As is practicing Buddhism. One thing to remember is to never disparage and never regret (unless it is in regretting a wrong done by you to another being).

Live in love, Diana, and love to live (but let go of the attachments to things and appearances).

With loving-kindess and compassion, in the Dharma,

Darrell

 

Interesting. I have been aware of this possiblity, I know a girl who wants to grow up to be a Protestant Buddhist; I even remember seeing a book at the library called Zen Judaism : for you, a little enlightenment. I have been considering reading it, because Judaism seems to be an intriguing religion, although I don't know much about it. Anyway, at the moment I really don't have much interest in Christianity. Although I try to keep an open mind and learn as much as possible, I really don't feel like persuing Christianity, simply because although I happened to be raised in the religion, I don't really believe in it. Not to offend anyone, but I myself do not believe in God and it seems that all Christian teachings seem to have their foundation in that one point. however I have heard that Jesus was a really compassionate guy, so maybe when I have the time I might pick up the Bible and read a little.

Namaste,

Diana

 

At least it's Buddhism and not something a little more contraversial. I'm on a pagan message board and we constantly get people being worried about coming out of the broom closet. With paganism there is a lot more contraversy, parents have a little more worry as such about their childrens spiritual practice, and since the pagan community isn't particuarly big or influencial people can say that pagans are bad and they won't be faced with much opposition. With Buddhism there is a large community who will say (as non-violently as exists) that Buddhism is just as good a path as any other and it is perfectly healthy. Also Buddhism has an ethnic community to an extent, and that isn't something that many religions have.

Anyway enough of my rant. My two pence are to be honest with your parents. Just tell them that you would rather consider yourself Buddhist than Catholic, or both, but as long as Buddhism is still there. Tell them that you would rather their support in your path, than not.

Blessings

Sebbi

 

Well, there are Catholic priests who have been incorporating Zen into their congregations and worship, so the two don't necessarily contradict. Maybe do a web search for "Catholic Buddhist" or something. Perhaps get a book about Buddhism, or on the Catholic Buddhist fusion, and leave it on the table. Maybe make offhand comments about Buddhism once in a while. You can subtly introduce it into your household so that you don't have to be worried about your mom. If not, do what Meagain said in his great post and just go about your practice on your own, find some people who feel likewise and hang with them. As you get older, you'll be more and more able to be your own self and follow your own path.

Anyways, I can relate to your problem. I realized I was an atheist when I was 16, right when my dad was going sober and finding God again (my family is catholic too). I was always so afraid he'd find out and hate me. Now I'm older and don't worry about it as much, especially since I started discovering Buddhism, Hinduism, and other spiritual practices...now I don't feel like I'm in super-opposition to my dad, because at least I'm spiritual...even if I don't believe in God. He still doesn't know though; I figure while I'm living in his house, I might as well stay low key. I doubt he'd be really pissed or anything, most likely he'd say it was just youthful searching and doubting (he said he's been there himself), but it can be hard to tell with someone who spends hours a day reading devotionals, the bible, etc. My mom I don't worry about, and she knows I don't believe in God. You know your family best, so it's your decision how you go about this. Good luck!