A book I start, got about 9000 words done so far. Should be ten times that when it's done. This is the first chapter, but chapters 1-10 are on my blog, and there's usually a new chapter every day or so. (It gets better later on.) Chapter 1: The Blue Eclipse Frederick woke, slowly stood up, and promptly fell down. He realized that he was about to spend nine hours working in a lab. There was only one thing that could possibly give him enough strength to make it through the day. He began crawling on his hands and knees, pushing past the pain. His face seemed like stone, unaffected by the tremendous burden being put on his body. He made it to the object that could give him his strength, strength enough to overcome the horrible fate he faced. He crushed a handful of ingredients into a fine dust, and mixed it with a clear liquid. He then placed the mixture into an arcane machine, and entered a complex combination of numbers through a system of unidentifiable buttons. “Ahh… coffee,” exclaimed Frederick. He removed the clear container of murky fluid and poured it into his chalice. Only a few inches from his mouth, he suddenly jerks and drops the concoction. Unable to find the strength to create more, his legs give way, and Frederick passes out from the tremendous strain. Four days later, Frederick awoke with a start. Remembering the lab, he quickly sits up, only to be smacked down. “That’s what you get for not going to work for four days in a row dumbass!” screamed Tai-ki. “Sorry cuz’, I spilled my coffee,” explained Frederick, secure in the knowledge that she would understand. He was less secure about that fact when he saw a large book flying towards his face. With masterful skill and grace Frederick catches the massive object, leaving his face un-smashed. “You can’t just sleep whenever you want to you know. You’re the town’s only alchemist; we don’t even have a doctor or a cleric for sick people. What if one of the hunters had an infected wound or a necromancer came and plagued the town? HUH?” “But... coffee, and…tired… and when was the last time a necromancer plagued the town anyway?” Tai-Ki seemed to calm down a little. “I think the last time was three months ago. I swear, those Goth losers have nothing better to do.” “Ah well, I suppose they just want some attention.” “Whatever, lets go. I still want those weightless boots,” muttered Tai-Ki as she walked towards town with Frederick. Frederick is a fifteen year old alchemist who lives in the town of Shroondok. He is relatively short, has brown hair and a goatee. Typically he wears a green robe with silver stripes around the arms. When he was eight, most of his family was slain by rampaging dragons. Only he and his cousin, Tai-Ki survived. Soon afterwards, they both made an oath to protect each other. To do this, Frederick trained to become an alchemist, and Tai-Ki trained to become a warrior. Tai-Ki is twelve years old. She is about as tall as Frederick, but is growing faster than him. She has long purple hair, and usually wears either a white kimono or a suite of chain armor, along with a great sword. All of the armor and weapons she uses are enchanted by Frederick, and she always carries potions he makes to help heal herself. Today is a holiday in Shroondok, as both suns and a moon are going to eclipse each other. This causes the moon, which is primarily made of water, to cover the world with a blue glow for a day. The glow seems to make magic temporarily more powerful, and contests are held in Shroondok to see who can come up with the most impressive spell. “And now, for our next contestant, our very own alchemist will attempt to make a pair of metal boots completely weightless!” bellowed a very large man to the villagers. Frederick began pouring strange liquids into one another, causing mist to pour out. He tossed vials into the air, as the crowd stared intently through the mist. Snapping his fingers, a large spark appeared over one of his pots. He haphazardly tossed the boots into the pot, causing a pillar of flames. Frederick then put on a pair of rubber gloves and reached into the flames, pulling out the boots, which were now a deep blue. He then held them in the air, and let go. The crowd was astonished when the boots remained in the air, and began clapping. He slid the boots through the air towards Tai-Ki, who donned them. The audience watched her make graceful leaps and kicks effortlessly. The very large man walked on stage and took Frederick’s hand, “I believe we have a winner. Frederick will receive a top hat that once belonged to the founder of this town. In second place, Moonshine the druid, whose singing plant choir was slightly out of synch during the third chorus, will receive a free dinner at Halfling’s Gourmet Food. We would like to thank all of the magic users who participated in this year’s festivities.” Frederick and Tai-Ki began to walk away from the crowd, which was now forming rather large and over-zealous conga line. “We won! I got a kick-ass pair of boots, and you got a very stylish top hat,” screamed Tai-Ki. “It does look good with this goatee. Hopefully I look more like an eccentric billionaire than an evil twin now,” replied Frederick. “So should we head back to the conga line, or slay mighty beasts?” As if in response to his question, a woman back at the festival screamed. Frederick and Tai-Ki looked at each other, and began running back. The woman was standing behind a man with an arrow in his head. Suddenly four more people wore struck with arrows. Large green figures appeared from the tree line. “Orcs! Orcs are invading!” screamed the very large man. The hunters in the village began attacking the orc attackers, with the assistance of the druid, enchanter, and two illusionists who had came to the village for the festival. At first they appeared to be winning, and the orcs were retreating. Then a large fireball appeared over the village. It came down directly on top of the hunters chasing the retreating orcs, killing them instantly. Soon after the orcs renewed their attacks, this time using flaming arrows. Walking behind them was a small goblin that seemed to be glowing. The magic users that were still alive were trying to defend the villagers, but were quickly being slain. “A shaman,” exclaimed Frederick. “There’s no way we can win with that shaman being powered by the eclipse.” Tai-Ki began donning her armor while telling Frederick, “That little goblin isn’t the only person who can cast spells around here. You find some way to delay the orcs; I’ll try out these new boots.” Tai-Ki began running silently around the orcs, crouching to sneak up on the shaman. Frederick ran in front of a crowd which was cornered by the orcs, and hurriedly began looking through the pockets of his robe. Pulling out blue and yellow vials, he tossed them into the path of the orcs. The grounds immediately began to sizzle and form a large ditch, which a number of orcs fell into. At this point, the shaman began to wave his hands around, cackling. A beam of energy shot out of its hand right when Tai-Ki lunged the sword into its back. She immediately ran towards where the beam had gone. The beam traveled quickly towards Frederick, who was thrown back into the crowd of villagers. Seeing that the shaman was dead, the townspeople began to charge the orcs. Tai-Ki leaped straight over the mess of orcs and humans fighting, landing next to Frederick. He was unconscious, but once she determined that he would be alright, she ran back to the battle. With tears in her eyes, she began killing mercilessly. Even hunters were awe-struck at the ferocity she had as she engaged the enemy. As the few remaining orcs retreated, she chased after them. The villagers tended to the wounded, and began rebuilding the town.
Just an update, I finished the story (At more than 30,000 words.) It's all on my blog if anyone want to read it, and soon I'll be posting revisions for all the chapters to fix the grammar mistakes and rewrite some of the parts I'm not satisfied.
Congratulations! That's 1/3 of the length you were shooting for originally but it can't be about verbosity. Glad to hear and I might take a look too soon. Thanks for the heads up.
