A tactful way to find out if a person is interested

There's no one in particular that I'm interested in right now, but since I want to start dating again, this is something I kind of need to think about. Say I meet a girl who I'm really attracted to. How would I tactfully find out if she's interested in women? The problem is that I don't want a person to take it the wrong way- "gay" has being used as an insult so much these days that even people who aren't homophobic get really offended by things like that.

I know there's no real way to know unless you ask the person. But I'm just not sure how I would word it in a way that wouldn't be taken badly.

 

There is no correct, offense-proof wording here. When it comes to asking people about the intimate aspects of their lives, there is little you can do in terms of being 'tactful', 'discrete', whatever.

A running joke here in Vienna is 'Mahlzeit, bist du schwul?' Which boils down to 'Bon appetit! Are you gay?' There is no diplomatic way, once you r basically talking sex.

The other avenues of exploration are open. Lesbian magazine, a DVD with telling pix. or a book of lesbian poetry you might be reading. A rainbow pin? Anything that might provoke some sort of reaction.

Good Luck...

KD

 

Well, if you ask a girl all of a sudden if she is lesbian you might scare her, and make her think that you are interested only in a sexual relation or in lesbians girls. From my own experience I believe it's better to get closer to that person and try to become her friend through kindness and to win her confidence. Then you may sound her out about the issue and, if she isn't homophobic, come out to her.

But there is a subtler way that I prefer before coming out to a boy that I like. When someones likes you that's quite clear by the way that person looks at you, the warms eyes, the slightly silly face and behaviour, the extreme kindness: love can't be hidden. Sensitives persons will notice that, and there is nothing else that you have to tell them if you like them, they'll let you know in an implicit or explicit way. Some others not, and then you'll have to come out.

 

ask her if she has a boyfriend,if the answer is yes,well....theres your answer...if its no,its usually followed by...no,i been single since last year...my b/f left me for someone else...or...a month ago i dumped my b/f...usually no story to follow is a good indicator...then casually turn the conversation,bring up homosexuality and see where it goes...good luck!