Hey guys, this post isn't for me but for my flatmate (I live in a house with three women and three kids Not the usual student flat, I know but its awesome). Her three year old son is refusing to potty train. I believe his exact words were "I like having someone wipe my ass" - as you can probably tell he's damn intelligent but just not too motivated to change things. Just wondering if maybe you guys have some cool strategies for getting reluctant kids to stop relying on nappies and move on to a potty or even the toilet? I thought of bribery - give him 5 cents every time he goes to the toilet - but then when do you stop it? will he be 15 and still expecting money for shitting? Any better ideas? We just want it to be creative and not stressful for Mum or child. Just something cool we can do to help move him on to the next stage. -Tamsyn
he won't use the toilet on a regular basis until he's good and ready to do it. Nothing in the world is going to change that. Bribes, tricks, threats, none of that is going to work. All you will accomplish is stressing everyone in the household out. Wait, he will do it when he's ready. And if you wait until he's ready, you won't have so many accidents to clean up. Some things that helped my children were books about going potty. Dr. Sears has a great one (can't think of the title, something like "You Can Go Potty") and there's lots others. But try to back off. Let him decide when he's ready and it will be so much easier for everyone. Leave the bathroom door open and let him see everyone in the household using the toilet, and he will want to do it, too.
Trust me, the kid will not go to high school in diapers!! All I did for my daughters was have the potty available to use and let them run around the house naked. They used it when they wanted to.
heres a good idea my mom and i used for my lil sis. we made a calender for each month and each time she would say i need to go potty and actually use the toilet and wash her hands at least twice a day we would give her a sticker for that day and if she got 5 stickers in a week she would get a surprise on the weekend ( her favorite ice cream, a trip to the zoo etc.)
I just can't give better advice than this. Sometimes, when the Potty is the thing the kid gets the most attention for, he or she will make it as difficult as possible. I made my kids think I didn't care if they used the potty or not. Like eating, making it the center of their lives is going to cause a problem. Leave him alone, have his mama just change his diaper, with little comment and eventually, he will use the potty. Intelligence has little to do with it. My "genius IQ" baby was my last to use the potty. She was 3 and a half. Some kids respond to a LOW KEY sticker chart, but other kids couldn't care less about stickers, and then with others NOT getting the sticker is seen as a punishment, and the last thing a mother wants to do during potty learning is to punish. I really resisted using food, as I didn't want to either "reward" a nomal behavior, or make food a subject of reward. JMO. By the time my dd Sage (my youngest) was 3 and a quarter, she was getting a lot of rashes from stool and urine. I did use a LOW KEY chart, but she and I talked about it first, if she didn't want to do it, we would not have done it. We were really low key about it, and, honestly, I don't think it made a difference than if we hadn't used it. I didn't want to use punishment, so we had other stickers for play. Just some butterfly ones for the potty. Some of my kids certainly would have not been motivated by stickers. Every child is different. I used the stickers so SAGE could see how she was doing. But, I don't think it actually faciliated potty learning, we just spoke about the potty less, which was good.
THE MOMS ON THIS SITE ROCK!!!!!!! everyone has given excellent and true ideas. All that is left for the mom to figure out why he doesn't want to potty. If he isn't ready, back off If he is just being notty, a behavior mod is a good idea (sticker bassed calendar-deally-oh) If he is just enjoying the attention, be more matter-a-fact about it (I guess back off again) Wee ones have reasons for the things they do, we just have to figure them out and deal/ accept them as they percieve them. Your perception is your reality, same for babies, toddlers, teens, republicans, whales, gerbils, and Neo-Facists.
food allergies can also make it harder for a child to poop on the potty.... not sure if that applies in this situation or not, but thought I'd throw that out there. Some children just aren't physically able to poop in a seated position, so that's a possibility too, especially if the child is prone to constipation as a result of food allergies.
