Didn't know where else to put this.

hey hey beautifuls. I have a slight problem. I can use all the advice you are willing to give me. I'm currently staying with my friends mother in law because the business im running has lots of jobs in this end of the country and its just easier because of Ajna's school and all. My friend has a sister who is turning 20 in August. We'll say her name is Jane. Now Jane and her fiance (we'll call him john) and their little boy moved out about a half year ago and they were living in this house down the street. Jane lost her job and they ended up having to move to another house where the rent was cheaper. I paid for all of their deposits and i've paid for their food for the last month. We're talking about $1000.00 or more. I'm fine with lending them money because I've known jane about 5 or 6 years and the situation shes in..well..i'd hope someone would help me out. Yesterday I had the day off and I was doing some laundry and jane came over to grab some of her son's summer clothes. Well she walked off and forgot the two bags she packed and my Ajna was on one of his moods where hes into everything and anything and grabbed both bags and threw everything out of them. I was trying to pick the clothes up when i noticed she'd packed up two pairs of my jeans, like three new tanktops, my leather planner, (this planner has my life in it) three of my CDs, and two pairs of Ajna's shoes that I was saving to put in a shadow box or frame. Anyone that knows me knows that if you ask me for something I'll give it to you....just don't steal from me. I don't know what to do. I thought about just letting it go but this isn't the first time its happened. I'm so confused. She even stold a porno from me. Whats up with that? I don't want to seem selfish but thats my hard earned money buying my stuff! I work my ass off, and when I buy someone ITS MINE. Ugh, I dont know what to do..

 

That is tough. I do know that if you don't confront her about it, she will just do it again. Do you think maybe she didn't realize that it was yours? Maybe she thought that it was her sister's? Not that it makes it okay, though. I would definitely tell her that you don't appreciate her taking your things especially after all you have done for her. Don't let her turn it around on you by saying you had no right to go through her things, etc. Sorry I couldn't be of more help!

 

personally i'd be SUPER pissed. after ALL that help you've given her (i do not know anyone who would just lend out over $1,000 to help a friend in need. that is alot of money and what you did to help her was VERY generous and a big deal and she should be more than grateful. that fact that she stole your things not only says that she is not a real friend and cannot be trusted, but that she isn't thankful for your help and your friendship. if it was me i'd confront her and end the friendship and then tell her you want your money back asap. that's just what i'd do. stealing from a friend is not forgiveable IMO. that's a line you do not cross. there was a time that i thought that my "best" friend was stealing from me. nothing huge. just like some clothes i'd let her borrow that she claimed she didnt know where they had gone to and one was my favorite sweatshirt that i paid $50 for (a TOOL shirt) and when i gave it to her i told her to be really careful with it since it was new and i loved it. also on weekends when i'd come over i'd give her and her husband money to buy drugs that we would all split up equally between us and i suspected that she was taking more than her share and putting away for another day. i could not proove these things so i just stopped calling her as much and eventually ended our friendship because although i could not prove it my intuition is always right so i didnt need proof. but you have solid proof. let us know what you decide to do.....good luck!

 

Thanks girls for your advice. I really needed it. I sat around today and wasted the day crying over it and came to the conclusion that if im crying over it, and wasting my time thinking over it this much than maybe I need to confront her. So I called her. She claimed that she didn't know that any of that stuff was mine, yet she was with me when I bought the clothes because I bought her clothes the same day for bonnaroo. (Shes going with my group) Also, the planner had MY NAME ENGRAVED ON IT!!! She said she thought it was someone else's.......??? I was like..well jane, do you know another alicia?? No answer. She said she was sorry and she didnt mean to take it then she hurried to get off the phone. I went to walmart today and priced those Safes/locker things. I think I'm going to buy one or get a storage building...or move out. Ugh, I feel so hurt. I need friends like you guys. <3 Thanks guys. Much love to you
Alicia

 

well whatever you do dont buy her anything else....lol. it sounds as tho she is taking advantage of your kyndness and that is a vicious thing to do to someone. peace.