Hi all , undercover lesbian here. Thinking about coming out. My concern most is of my parents thoughts. Can i get some feedback on how it was for you and any regrets. Also does it have to be formal (LOL)or do you just bring your girlfriend around?
I told my momma with a smile. I told my gramma at the beach. I told my brother in a letter because he's across seas. Those are the only people that I think count; anyone else I couldn't give a shit. I do not have any regrets. I can become irrate if someone opposes me, or tries to make me feel bad about it. I don't make them feel bad for being straight, it's not my fault they're to narrow-minded to comprehend that my sexuality is normality to me, and otherwise would just be nauseating. I'm surprised your parents haven't figured it out yet. Have they ever shown any anti-gay status?
Thanks for the responce. Well first off I never lived my life as "gay" i always had "Boyfriends". Yes my parents are very Homophobic (Old School). I have a sister who is Bi but she hides it as well from my parents. I never really considered myself as Bi-sexual . I always dated guys and also was married.
That's to bad. I personally couldn't do that. I wouldn't allow it. But they do that in Japan. I was just curious how the rest of the world views homosexuals; it turns out the rest of the world is retarded. I have a conflict; I want to do things that I want to do, and out of spite just to get under peoples skin. But then again I don't want to put on a show for people. I made a thread somewhere around here bitching about how to approach revealing how to tell the rest of my family. Of course my idea was slightly different. Along the lines of shouting it at them, then if they try to tell me otherwise, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves and never talking to them again. But I guess just telling them, and then staring them down with a devious-ass grin. Haha. I'm easily amused... Hm, you're not going to go about it, are you? You're afraid they'll disown you. Eh...
Hmmm i dont think your approach would go over well with my parents(LOL). I have a pretty good relationship with my parents and I respect them a great deal.I guess i just wont be able to bear the hurt to them coming out might cause. To be honest im really in conflict about what I am .I have a friend whom i have "feelings" for. She is gay and openly so. We are, I guess you could call it dating. We will be together in public for the first time tomorrow at my families annual cookout as "friends". Try to understand this is all new to me .Not my feelings about other woman, but acting on them.
Yeah, my approach would be pretty blunt. But yeah, I hear where your coming from, regardless of what definition you associate with; you do like girls and your folks don't like that. Good luck with it anywho. But as you know, the process of coming out isn't to hurt anyone, but it's to come clean release yourself of any burden. But if it doesn't hold you down, then don't. Don't rush yourself, you'll find out in due time.
I came out about 5 years ago. As a bi, it's easier to stay closeted and just date the opposite sex and have flings with the same sex. But that isn't what you were asking. I told my brothers and sisters first. I actually dreaded telling my folks, but when I finally did, they were pretty cool about it. I thought that I would have the "weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth" reaction, but I didn't. It took a while to sink in with them, but then they started asking questions. One thing I did was to sit down and tell them how difficult it was for me to approach them. That softened mine up, and I think they were more receptive to my feelings because of it. As to the girlfriend at the BBQ, don't introduce her as your girlfriend. That will create more headaches than what you need. Take moments when you can to discreetly thank her for tolerating your family. Sneak a kiss if you can. But don't go off snogging where everybody will see you. That might be a bit much.
I just took a deep breathe and told my father while we were in his car one day then the next day I told my sister over the phone. Telling my sister was more of a big deal to me but they were both very caring and sweet about it. I think they thought it was a phase at first but obviously its not~
Well, my parents found out I was bi w/o my initiating any conversation... They just kind of discovered my relationship w/my ex-girlfriend. My dad was really pissed when we "talked" (more like yelled) about it in the car one day, and my mom is totally fine with it now. I don't think she freaked out at the beginning very much, just a little because they never would've suspected it. They're fine now. My dad probably still hates it, but my mom totally accepts it. I hope whenever you come out that it works out well.
My folks were cool about it in the beginning too, but in the last couple of years they have been rather homophobic about it all. But I'm okay with that. In the years since I came out, I have found a bi organization that I now belong to, and they've been a tremendous help and support. I'm stronger now than I thought I would be, so when I get into the inevitable arguements, I'm not cowering in the corner. Oh, and that bi organization? I'm now the Chairman of the Board of Directors. Here's the link: http://www.tcbop.org
