older people hitting on you...

I think men and women are fundamentally equal...but not the same.

AND I am not a feminist. Never have been or claimed to be. I'm all for women having rights and getting equal pay and such. However, I only like equality when it's in my favor and I'm not afraid to admit that.

If they started drafting women into the military, I'm wouldn't be hollering for equality, lol!

I can take care of myself, but when I've lived with men in the past, I can assure you that there was no way in hell I was taking out the trash, killing bugs, lifting heavy objects, or fixing the plumbing. I am comfortable enough in my femininity to sit back and let a man do those things for me.


Men and women DO think differently. We do respond differently (usually) to stimuli, especially in a sexual context. It has to do mostly with biology and partially with societal conditioning.

Being equal doesn't mean you are the same. That's like saying that people of race A are the same as people of Race B. They aren't. They are EQUAL but they both have their own unique culture, which means they may have differing attitudes on certain subjects. Same goes for men and women. We may be equal but men are still more likely to assault young people than women are. I work in law enforcement, and that's a statistical fact.

 

Did I say somewhere that you were? I don't think so. And having equality only when it's good for you is a pretty terrible way to be. Equality should always be on every level if we want to have equality.

Why not? Equal rights are equal rights, whether they are good or bad.

So, you're saying that you should be barefoot in the kitchen and leave the men to do everything else? Virtually, that's what you ARE saying...so exactly what IS a woman's role in the house?

I don't think the OP was being assulted...she was being complimented.

 

wow. annie.. i like you but man, you can be kinda mean i read this thread reading both of your points... the fact is though, you both have good points. annie- it is true though- men and women arent arent the same... maybe HIP men and women, enlightened men and women but that's not always the way the world rolls. maybe we are the same fundamentaly but society can create things...as the way little boys and girls are treated by parents and in schools since they are born- i believe both sexes are capable of the same things (good and bad)- but both sexes are treated differently in some subtle and some not so subtle ways since birth that yes....

i DO believe men are MORE LIKELY to behave in certain ways pertaining to this thread.. doesnt mean a woman isnt capable and hasnt done certain things.....

men and women are similar but there is such a thing as testosterone and estrogen on top of the way society treats babies on up about their sex til later... men do typically deal with their aggression differently because of hormones... i think that is what peculiar girl was talking about about the trash and stuff- its not taking us (as women) back.... but in an evolutionarly aspect- men ARE better at physical stuff and woman have breasts that actually do something and have motherly, feminine instincts and that is okay... not all men and women wanna go that route- i can play with the boys just fine- i box with them but there are differences

okay enough about that
as many have said... its all about instinct, vibes/intuition....
what she said could go either way and only she knows- my grandfather that died a few years ago volunteered and worked with young teenage and young adult girls and he flirted but never in a creepy way. he never scared any of them. it was the way he was just joking and laughing and he wasnt a dirty old man... they came to his funeral and talked about how great and fun loving he was....

i had an old man at a job that used to compliment the girls and i dunno.. he gave a non scary vibe and that was cool..

i have also run into DIRTY OLD MEN that seriously just wanna fuck young girls. i can tell the difference between the two types.

that is key. she should trust her instincts and if it scares her for real, get a new teacher.

 

I'm not meaning to sound rude or mean, but I just hate the double standard that men/women, old/young have. And I thought that people, especially on a site like this, would be a little bit more open minded and say, hey that's not right, and we shouldn't be that way toward people.

I treat people equally...therefore, if an old man complimented me, I'd take it the same way as a young woman complimenting me...or any other variation...I think it's unfair that people treat old people differently than a young person...If a younger guy...maybe in his twenties or thirties, said something like this to a 17 year old girl...no one would probably be pitching a fit about it. I think it's really unfair.

 

yah i do see your point and i saw it from the beginning.

i dont know though.... maybe i am a little biased because of some of the creepy old men i have run into in the past and the vibes i got from them. i also know any male hitting on me (and im not saying this man she posted about was or wasnt cause honestly, none of us know).... can scare me more then a seventeen year old girl hitting on me.... but ive had scary experiences with men and not with young girls so that's just my experience.

what this really boils down to though is that none of us except the OP knows how he meant it... it could have been in a creepy way and it coulda been like my grand dad was- just friendly..... the OPer might not even know.... i probably would know if i was there, it's all about body language and tone and stuff.....

 

I used to think like DancerAnnie, until i had an incident with a guy i used to work with. He was very literally old enough to be my father, almost old enough to be my grandfather. I thought he was harmless, used to talk about his kids, flirt a bit (nothing outrageous just smiling and laughing really). He used to make comments about boyfriends and my appearance, just like what happened to the OP really. I thought he was just a friendly old man, never considered he was after anything else. UNTIL he pinned me in a corner, away from the security camera's and started groping me. I had to threaten to knee him in the nuts before he'd let me go.
This experience made me very wary of older men (i mean men who are WAY older) for a fair while.
I think if the OP felt uncomfortable she should go with that feeling. I don't care what anyone says, an older man (by older i mean ten years or more) asking a seventeen year old girl about her love life is NOT appropriate. Especially seeing as he did it while they were alone.
People can debate about it all they like, the simple fact is that men and women think COMPLETELY differently. That said, i still don't think this situation would be appropriate if the genders were reversed.

 

A few of you have raised some memories of personal past experiences. I've noticed that I'm pretty sensitive to crass comments in the form of flirtations especially if they are sexual. It doesn't matter if it's from an 18 yr old to a 62 yr old.

And for me, I realized that while I made the same (very obvious sexual) flirtations, I found theirs unacceptable. How's that for a double standard? This has happened more than a few times and I've had people I've dated point it out to me.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that men and women of different ages function or think similarly. Individuals don't. Therefore, their comments or "compliments" would NOT mean the same thing NOR carry the same nuances. I disagree with DancerAnnie. Unfortunately I've gotten my share of uncomfortable and downright scary advances from older generations.

Yet, I can agree that youth or younger people are very quick to jump the gun at a "dirty old man" or "horny old woman" stereotypes. And you know what - the fact that they feel that way towards an older generation is proof enough, to me, that they are not ready to handle relations or intergenerational relationships at all.

Either they are plain sheep. Or deliberately choose not to for other reasons. Or they are not mature enough yet.

And that's bloody fine, in my books. Take your time to grow, and live and just enjoy your life without growing up too fast by trying to associate with those older (or vice versa for wanting to stay young).

Just feel comfortable and don't be an ass about it.

 

To me, it doesn't sound like he meant anything by it, it wasn't intended to be crass or to be a true hit on to the OP

However, I'm a big fan of better safe than sorry. Either talk to him about it, just make sure it was meant with a light heart and not in a flirtatious way, or else avoid him.

If you get bad vibes from the situation, it's best to leave it than wait around and see what happens

 

same here I want equality at work but if I am dating somone who wants it in a relationship I would honestly think they were joking. In fact I was asked to take out the trash once by a guy I was dating and I cracked up I was like...scuse me you want me to what? I'm a girl. but then they use it as a power thing...every guy I have been with whether it's living with them or staying with them uses the damn trash against me and during fights lets it pile up and pile up until it disgusts me and I blow up so I don't like the power they have over the trash...but then again I can cross my legs if they wanna play the trash game d:

 

ALRIGHT! grrr grrrr grrrr! Both points are well taken, too bad you all dont run for office. I would fear wanting to harm a country with them two in charge. Hell Im kinda scared posting, lol

 

Yeah, I know all about the older men.. I had a man who was probably in his late 50's grab my breasts.. Yes, it was without permission.. I was 16 at the time and he was a preacher.. And that hasn't been my only experience.

 

Yeah, good advice. That's creepy. Trust your gut instincts. I won't even look at someone under twenty twice. It might be a bit different for men, but this guy is old enough to know better.

 

If an old person hits on me... I tap that ass.

 

Well, I tap that ass.
:H

 

It's all "sugar" to me.

 

Sorry if this sounds harsh but get used to it. THis is going to happen to you very often and it's good to experience this from time to time it toughens you up. Our teachers used to hit on us all the time in highschool and junior highschool. Or maybe the schools I went to just had pervert teachers.

 

Uh I didn't trust my vibes, and then my grandpa ended up trying to kiss on me and running his hands up my skirt. Okay? Eww? Trust your instincts?

 

If you don't want your boobs grabbed don't pop them out like that.

 

*bites lip*

 

It doesn't matter if you're letting them pop out, topless or whatever no one should be that disrespectful.. I don't care who it is.. Oh, and furthermore I was wearing a t-shirt at the time