Ok. There is this boy at school and I like him and I'm sure he likes me and if we start going out should I come out then or wait?
Well, people are going to figure it out either way if they see that you're going out with another guy. In my opinion, there's no reason to make any big announcements to everyone, or talk to all of your friends, and everyone you know and tell them that you're gay and stuff like that. They're figure it out, they'll ask questions if they have any. So to me, it seems like the question is that if you go out with this guy, do you want people to figure it out for themselves, or do you want them to hear it from you? Just do what you think is right. I'm kind of going through the same thing right now... a couple of my friends know, but no one outside of them knows.
I wouldn't make a big deal about telling people. People will probably figure it out on their own. Besides, does it make a difference if they know?
Alright if they ask If I'm going out with him I'll tell but I need to tell my parents. Not soon though
I would wait a while till you tell your parents as well. I'm 18 and I'm not even planning on telling my father till after my freshman year of college.
Ok so I'm in love with my best friend and i'm pretty sure he's gay. I'm not sure he is but he shows some hope. He's so sweet adn i catch him checking me out sometimes. Should i wait for him to come out to me or should i come out to him?
First off, take it slow. That's probably the most important thing. Really try not to get your hopes up. While he may be checking you out and all, he may not be ready yet to have a relationship, if he is even gay. It's hard sometimes for people. First, try being open about you being gay. Let him know, and see how he reacts. Just take it step by step, and try not to expect much. I'm saying that over and over again only because something similar has happened to me twice, and each time, it turned out that my friend wasn't actually gay (or if they ARE gay, they aren't ready to come out yet). Also, you're 13, and that is still damn young to be 1.) getting into a serious relationship and 2.) be open about being gay- most people aren't open about their sexuality until after high school even. I'm sixteen, which is still pretty young for me to be open and all. So try not to expect him to be ready- although he may very well be. But yeah, I think you should try coming out to him. See how he reacts. Good Luck! Cheers, Dylan
I think Dylan gave you very sound advice. I've lost friends who weren't ready to come out or felt awkward being around me after I told them about me. And keep in mind also unless you want the whole world you live in to know about your gay feelings I'd be very cautious with who I told my secrets too. Whenever you ask someone, "promise not to tell anyone" they always tell at least "one" person who tells another and another and so on.... understand what I'm saying? Also we tend to project our feelings onto other people and sometimes we see what we want to see. On the other hand, " Nothing ventured, Nothing gained " Good luck and let us know how it turns out
unless you guys have been friends for a while and you know you can trust him.. then go ahead... but really me being 14 i wouldnt want the kids in my school to know.. or my parents.. or most of my friends... there is only 2 people i did/want to tell (1 knows.. the other doesnt).... IMHO be careful on who you tell....
