Hi, I really want to come out to my parents, but i have no idea about how to go about doing it, any suggestions?
Probably best to wait until you're older unless you have a good reason to come out right now. Like you have a guy you want ot get with and don't want ot hide it or it REALLY is too much for you to hold in. I'm 18 and I kind of wish I hadn't told them, but I wasn't exactly coherent at the time.
Blue- I don't agree with the two responses you've gotten so far. I HIGHLY disagree. I can't believe two people would suggest bottling your feelings up inside. I told my parents, and they are fine with it. Of course, not at parents are like mine. What are your parents like? I MIGHT agree with the other poeple who responded to this thread if your parents were EXTREMELY RIGHT WING and really intolerant and abusive or something. But otherwise, I think it's a smart idea to tell them. They're your parents, and they love you. Don't get me wrong, I know how hard it is, I've gone through it. But by bottling it up isnide, you'll only feel worse. And you've gotta think about your relationship with your parents -do you want it to be an open, honest one? Or a relationship lacking communication? Now, as far as ways to go about it, I'm not too sure. I'm kind of a spontaneous comer-outer. Because with me and everyone I've come out to, I always just kinda bring it up like this: "Hey mom, I think I'm gay." And I mean that I literally did it like that. I've never been too serious abuot coming out to anyone, but thats just my personality. I'm a very open person. And I don't have a problem with my sexuality. So I don't worry too much about how people will react. So that is one way. But if you're looking for a less bold, more subdued way, then I suggest the following: Like most peopel would say, it's all about the right moment. Look for it. You'll know when it is. But do it when they can give their full attention and when they aren't busy or stressed out. Ask them if you can talk to them, and then, the only thing you can say next is, "I think I'm gay." Whatever happens after that is totally up to how they react, as well as how you handle the situation. To be honest, there really is not formulaic guidance I can give you. When it comes down to it though, it's all the same: you've gotta forget your nervousness, and just COME OUT. I wish you luck. I'm sure your parents will understand. Just make sure you are ready to fully explain your feelings, and how you've come to feel that you are gay. Your parents will probably be interested. Cheers, and Love, Dylan
I don't think it's good to bottle up feelings either. But there are so many variables. He really has to be quite sure that they wouldn't mind because right now at this point in his life he is financially dependant on them. If he comes out and they don't like it they could decide not to pay for him to go to college later or may stop buying him all the shit he wants. Stuff like that.
reduced2teeth: you seem to have quite the negative attitude. do you really feel that it is that common for parents to not support their child just because their child is gay? because if you do, then I defitnely disagree. yes, some parnets might be against their childs sexuality, but no healthy parent would actually stop supporiting their child financially. what does buying shit the kid wants haev to do with him being gay? I just don't udnerstand your negative apporach. I could understand if you said ot him: "What are your parents like?" but by not asking that and advising him to shut up about it isn't cool. yes, I agree in that he should evaluate his parent's views before coming out to them to best determine how to come out. cheers, dylan
i know that there are some crazy parents out there, and i HAVE heard of people I know and stories of those who I dont personally know, who have had bad expereinces with their parents for being gay. but by the way you present what you said, you make it seem as though that is the most common circumstance...when it really isn't. most parents aren't like that.
yeah, I understand what you're saying, but as the poster himself said, he really wants to tell his parents. the seriousness of how you come out depends on how you feel- like with me, I was very light-hearted and simple about it, because I, like hellopeople, believe that my sexuality is such a natural thing. But at the same time, I didn't want my mom to be surprised when I brought home a guy. Its just kind of a "hey, I want you to know who I am" thing for me. in my opinion, my sexuality is part of who I am, seeing that someday I will be spending my life with a guy. so I want those who I love to be aware. thats not to say i go shouting it out to people- in fact, i've never told someone (cept for my parents) just for hte sake of telling them. it's always come up in conversation, like this: a person who doesn't know i'm gay might ask me: "yo dylan, you think that girl is hot?" "sure" (poeple around me who KNOW that i'm gay laugh) "whats so funny" i smile and say, or one of my friends smiles and says "i'm/he's gay" or something like that. but whatever, i'm talking outta my ass. Cheers and love, dylan
It's a difficult task and yet trust me once you tell you family, it willbe alot easier to tell other people, and it deffinately takes a huge load off.
I havent come out yet but I think you should come out asap. You who know your parents if they are homophobe. I would wait and instead confide in a friend who will understand.G.l.
