The Advice Thread

You should count your blessings but not your chickens before they have hatched.

 

Dont pee in the yellow snow

 

if you flick it more than twice, youre playing with it

 

a stitch in time saves nine

 

why buy the cow when you are getting eggs for free

 

Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain't....

 

look both ways before you tell a rascist joke

 

Tender handed grasp the nettle - it'll sting you for your pains,
But grasp it like a man of metal and it soft as silk remains

 

just say no

 

quick.......duck!!!!!

 

Supidity is a selfish bastard that gives nothing but grief, harbors nothing but grudges, and defiles everything that it touches.

 

if he looks butch and nasty i'd advice 'no thankyou' and then back away really slowly, sighing with relief when you get back to your car and the wheels are still on it
S

 

never over feed the goldfish

 

My advice:

Shoot yourself while you're still young.

 

Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

 

the pure and simple truth is NEVER pure and RARELY simple.

 

I had a sign that said that hanging over my bed at one time.

 

Never let an anteater stick his head in your pants.

 

When the power goes out, I will be groping.

 

Never visit a proctologist wearing wax lips.