I had a miscarriage yesterday. And I'm feeling a lot of different emotions, fears, worries, etc. So, I thought I'd post my story and how I'm feeling and see if anyone has any advice or opinions. It was still very early in the pregnancy and it was my first time being pregnant. It wasn't planned, but not exactly unwanted. I'm in a serious relationship with a wonderful man and we plan to spend our lives together. I'm pretty confused as to how I even became pregnant because we used condoms, but that's besides the point. When I started realizing that I was pregnant I felt fear, but then joy. And then I miscarried yesterday. And now I feel depressed, angry, hopeless, worried, etc. I have so many emotions swirling around inside me. Its not so much that I miscarried that's bothering me right now. I mean, I know many women who have had miscarriages and I know its a fairly normal thing. I am mourning that little life, but I understand that sometimes miscarriages just happen. Right now I feel more concerned about how this is affecting me and how it may affect my relationship with my boyfriend. (Who is being wonderfully loving and supportive about this by the way.) I've always wanted to have children, but it was always something I thought about for the future...years from now. And my boyfriend and I had talked about having children when we're 25. (I'm 22 now) And that seemed like a good plan. But now after this pregnancy and miscarriage I feel what I heard someone call "baby itch." I have this overwhelmingly strong urge to get pregnant again. I feel like I must get pregnant or I'll go crazy or something. I've felt this before, but much more mildly. Its like it went from being a want to feeling like a need. After the miscarriage my boyfriend said we should be more careful from now on to not get me pregnant. But...that is the opposite of how I'm feeling. I desparatly want to have a baby now and the thought of waiting at least 2 1/2 years to have one makes me feel really sad. Really sad. I feel really awful and depressed. And I'm really worried that feeling this way will affect my relationship. But I can't just turn off these feelings. I'm going to talk to my boyfriend about it, but I thought maybe some of you might have had similar experiences and have some advice for me. Thanks in advance.
Others who haven't lost a baby can't really comprehend. They feel sorry, but it's difficult for them to understand your grief. I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly, I would recommend you talk to a counselor or something. Not forever, just for a while. You'll be okay and one day when you are ready you can try for another. I believe unborn children like anyone else have a spirit. Try to hold with you the feelings of love and peace that came along with carrying a child.
Night Owl, Last December I went through a miscarriage. My situation was much like yours. The pregnancy wasn't planned but my husband and I both knew we wanted to have children eventually, and so we found ourselves in a frightening yet excited place, getting ready for the new life we had created. I went to the doctor, thinking I was about 11 weeks along, but found that I was in fact only six weeks pregnant. I heard the baby's heart beat, steady and strong. Then two days later it happened. There is no need to describe to you the pain of this ordeal because you know first hand. Have you been to the doctor? My doctor told me not to get pregnant for a certain period of time. Your body needs time to recover from this. I wish I could remember what the exact time period he told me to not concieve... I had the longings for another baby, but followed the doctor's advice and after a month or two I no longer felt the NEED to have a baby. My husband and I are still contemplating parenthood, but there is no rush, since we are both young. I could have made this much shorter, I suppose, by just saying BE CAREFUL! It could be harmful to you and the baby if you were to get pregnant again so soon. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to e-mail me, either at this address or at jessibear@happyhippie.com. Take care!
I had a miscarriage before my first was born was concieved ....all within two months of concieving her and I grieved that the first baby I did concieve did not come to term......take the moments and have the cry and the love flow for the baby that just was not as it is and will be a part of you. With love and light I wish you peace with what is and beyond our control. Tears are the greatest of cleaners as they wash our souls so that we are clean for the next chapter in our lives. Heat
I'm so sorry. The pain will eventually dull, but it is good you are talking and greiving. Feel your pain and don't feel bad about feeling it. I have had two miscarriages, so I kind of know how you are doing. I hope you are well soon. Blessings. Maggie
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I am actually feeling much better now. Last night my boyfriend and I spent some time discussing how we felt about it all. And talking to him made me feel so much better. He's being so supportive and loving. I am so blessed to have him in my life! After talking to him I feel like I have a handle on all these emotions, instead of them having a hold on me. So now I feel like I can heal. Now I hope that anyone who has a similar situation and reads this will see that you can heal from it.
