Mother-in-law in hospital again and may never leave it

My mother-in-law is in the hospital again. She has very advanced Lou Gehrig's disease. Almost four years ago, we were told she had 3-5 years left. We are very close to the end. She's been in and out of the hospital more and more frequently over the past months with pneumonia. This time, it's not pneumonia, her lungs just don't have the strength to breathe anymore. She can barely raise her arms and her voice is nothing but a croak. She's on steriods to help her breathe and enough morphine to make her comfortable. There's not really anything more they can do for her. I don't know how much longer we have with her, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was just a week or two.

I have never lost anyone closer to me than a great-grandmother I saw once or twice a year. I don't know how to handle this. She's only 50. She has been a blessing to every person that has ever known her. DH adores her. He's been kind of pretending this whole thing isn't happening. He's going to fall apart when we go see her in the hospital tomorrow and he sees how bad off she is.

At least I can be thankful that she was able to raise two wonderful boys. She was also able to see her two grandsons (my DS and her best friend's grandson, who is family in heart if not by blood). She's made her plans and is ready to go. She's no longer fighting for life and has a do not resussitate order. It's going to be much harder on her family than on her. At least she won't be suffering any longer.

Thanks for listening.

 

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. She's really young but since she's so sick, it's definitely for the best. I know that probably doesn't help, it never helped me when my grandpa died...but it's comforting now to realize how much better off he is. *hugs* I don't know exactly what to say, I feel bad that I can't be more of a comfort. I guess if you ever need someone to vent to, you can PM me. I've lost both my grandpas and my next-door neighbor who was like a second mother to me as a kid, and while I know that's different than losing a mother-in-law, it all hurts the same... If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll volunteer mine.

 

hey man im sorry that really sucks i hope everything will be alright hakuna matata

 

*hugs to you*

We lost Brian's mom to pneumonia in December, 4 days after Christmas. And it was definitely one of the most difficult things I've ever gone through.

This woman fought Ovarian Cancer for 34 years, raised two beautiful boys, and had all but resigned to a peaceful death. And then she found out she was going to be a grandmother. She never thought she'd live to hear those words. And when she did, she was spurred back into action, back into the fight against her biggest battle. She started chemotherapy just a couple of weeks after we told her we were expecting.

And she fought so bravely, and never once complained. Even lying as still as could be on her couch, with no lights on (for her headaches), no strength to move, and no energy to eat. She would just smile and say she was fine. She never let her attitude reflect her pain. What an inspiration.

Finally, in December, she went into the hospital for problems concerning complications from the chemotherapy. She couldn't keep anything down and was severely dehydrated. Despite their best efforts, she just kept losing fluid. And in her weakened condition, pneumonia crept up on her and us. It was a quick deterioration, from right before Christmas until she finally passed on the 29th.

And it's still a struggle everyday. A struggle to think that she's not here to see her grandbaby come into this world. That she won't see another Dahlia. That I'm not going to be able to ask her questions and get her wise responses. It hurts. And I think it will for a long time, despite how short a time I knew her.

Minka, I'm not going to tell you to be strong. It isn't about strength now. It's about being open and emotional. Expressing yourself and showing your husband that it's okay for him to express himself as well. As well as your darling little boys. And don't dwell on these last few memories, as they will always be the most painful. It's better to think on her in her glory, her best times. To think on who she was, not what a disease tried to make of her.

Blessings to you and your family in this rough time.

*hugs again*