I fucked up...could be worse but I still fucked up

I dont know what to fuking do right now.

MY best female friend (well only ) is my favorite smoking buddy in the whole world, me and her have had so many good times just hanging out and getting high...and I found out yesterday that she is gonna quit smoking beause her dads a cop and if she fales another drug test they are sending her to rehab...for WEED!!! and so she decided that it isnt worht it to risk right now. But thats not why im freaking out...my problem is that last night I stayed with her and we took some pills her dad gave her (to help her sleep) but they just relax the fuck out of yo so we took those and drank some wine and relaxed....then she came out to me! She knows im bi and is so cool about it but last night she told me she was bi..then she tells me she has wanted to kiss me for a long time and we go for it. it didnt get past making out but now..like she has never told anyone she was bi, she has never odne anything with a girl, and she told me that she has beena ttracted to me and has wanted to kiss me and all that...and that she knew i was the only person she could trust to tell me....and now...I mean what the hell do I do? I mean I lvoe this chick so much...and not in the sexual way, but it still is a really emotional thing to have someone confide that in you, and tell you she knows you are the only person she can trust..like it is a really intamate thing and now...like I dontknow...and any of you who know anything about me know how into my boyfriend I am. I mean i would never ever cheat on him, and we have swapped before, like we have agreed that me being with girls is fine as long as he is too( i mean in the same room, same time..same girl...ONLY, we have a very strict no doing shit with other people thing)...and im fine with that...I just feel horrible for kissing her...because I dont know how skye will react...to us it is just liek I got fucked up with a guy friend and made out with him....and at the time I didnt even think how he would feel....damnit what do I do?

 

Okay, I know you adore Skye. There's no question about that. And from what I've seen, he loves you dearly as well. I *think* that he's going to be understanding about this. I mean, I don't know him personally, but from what you've described...

As far as your friend goes. You love her and you don't want to hurt her. But you also might hurt her even more in the long run if you don't tell her how you feel about what happened between the two of you. If she were to go on thinking maybe the two of you might be a couple, it could crush her moreso the longer you let her believe it's a possibility.

I don't know, those are just my thoughts. It's a really tough call. Maybe someone else has experienced something similar and would have better insight for you.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

Ummmm, don't tell him? That'd be the best course of action. Most people don't agree with my thought on the matter, and can't bring themselves not to tell. Telling him though, seems like it would just cause a bigger problem overall. He's going to feel betrayed, and you might as well be giving him permission to go fuck around because if he does and you don't like it, he will most likely remind you that you did it first.

I'd say keep your mouth shut, and don't do it again. Just my thought.

 

I cant..I just cant not tell him, I do not have a single secret form him, I havent since they day we got together,and I just dont know ho he will feel. Knowing skye the fact that im so upset could be enough for him to not freak out. When he knows I fuck up and regret it ..like he knows I regret it he understands...but this has never happened. and I cant even justify it to myself! like I dont know why I did that! Im smarter than that...when she said she wanted to kiss me i should have said no, and explained why. but then at the same time I just didnt think. I felt so close to her...I dont have female friends and knowing that a girl trusted me like that...I dont know...she doesnt want a relationship..I kow her and she would hjave us be fuck buddies for the rst of our lives before she had a relationship...but i dont even think she wants that...I think she was fucked up, felt close to me and since those feeling were on her mind she went for it..but I dont know what ill do if my friends confession and some sleeping pill lead to the end of me and skye....

 

and by the way...thank you so much..you are just the biggest sweetheart ever

 

Maybe you should stop doing drugs and mixing drugs with alcohol? If you did that, you probably wouldn't be in this position right now.

Sorry to piss in your "tru wuv" cheerios but someone has to voice some reason here.

Taking pills and drinking wine could have killed you...kissing a female friend is probably the least of your troubles.

 

no it couldnt...a single sleeping pill I have taken before plus a single glass of wine (on my part) would not have dont that kind of harm. I dont do anything without knowing the potential side effects...seriously. I have researched every single drug or pill I have evr tried, these are no different, and all I do at this point in my life is smoke weed and do shrooms occasionally....but that is all beside the point...granted, if I hadnt taken those pills I probobly wouldnt have done this...and my umm...tru wuv??? im sorry but thats hwy I said those of you who know anything about me...there are people here who know about my relationship and all the shit we have been through together and those people know what it would be like for me to lose skye...if you dont, then please dont trivialize it like that...it may seem like a juvinille fuck up, but belive it or not i have maneged to go this long without cheating on skye (or taking something that did harm ot me for that matter)...I guess what im saying is that if you dont know what kind of pills, how many, or how much wine..then you dont have any room to speak about the situation like i am some dumb teenager experimenting with drugs and alcohol irresponsibly...

 

I agree with hippychickmommy you have to tell her how you feel about that situation. It will only make her upset if you lead her on. I think you should tell your friend that although you love her, what happend the other night can't happen again. You in love with Skye (if im not mistaken that is his name) And that being a friend is as far as you will go with her.
Just tell her nicely and Im sure she'll understand. After all she is your best(female) friend. Good luck! Peace!

 

Ok.. I really disagree about telling skye. I think if you honestly know in your heart that your intentions were not to cheat than there is no reason to bring it up. Im positive that if you tell your partner it will create alot of tension in your relationship and can add to other more serious issues about trust and respect. If you know that you did nothing wrong then dont ruin what you have going for you.

 

It boils down to a couple of things.... There are ONLY two options... 1) Tell your boyfriend or 2) Don't tell your boyfriend

Honestly, I say DON'T tell your boyfriend. The reason is only because your friend REALLY trusts you not to tell anyone. What she told you is a HUGE thing for her. I would not tell something so personal about someone else like that to your boyfriend. The only possible reason for even doing it would be if you were wanting to create drama. You know that your boyfriend will not find out unless you go around telling him or other people because your friend sure isn't going to tell anyone. If it didn't mean anything to you, and it was just a kiss, and you plan on doing NOTHING else with this girl then I seriously see no need to bring it up.

On another note, you probably need to have a serious talk to this girl and let her know that you care for her as a friend but you aren't going to risk your relationship with your boyfriend for ANYONE, and that nothing will ever happen between the two of you again in that kind of way.

 

Thankyou hon...I hope that things work out for you.

 

yeah...i talked to skye about it...he was angry and said he needed a day or 2...but we talked yesterday and he said he forgave me...i know its gonna be hard for him to be around my friend, but she is REALLY acting..well dumb right now...and im kind of annoyed with her because she said that what we did wasnt cheating and he didnt need to know...oh well...i still love her...

and mommy i totally luv you too....yoiu are just too sweet lol

 

thanks..thats good advice..but i found out she has already told people..like she is already telling her friends and didnt want to tell skye becuase she knew how i felt about it...i dont know what shes doing right now :-(

 

i'm glad you told your boyfriend. you seriously would regret it if you told him later down the line ...and if you didnt, it would be on your mind the more and more serious your relationship got. seriously. and if you want to have a great relationship, honesty is number one. communication is key to keeping a relationship. go you! he loves you and obviously ya'll have a good enough relationship to work through this.
also, you might want to reconsider taking pills with alochol. it's never such a good combination. i realize that not everyone experiences the same side effects, but it usually doesn't mix well. even one pill, and even wine. apparently (i may be wrong) thats how jimi hendrix died. he had a headache, took a pill for the headache, and later that nite had a glass of wine. and then he died. it just depends on your body. you may have a high tolerance for it, but you really never know. we all know jimi hendrix experienced with different drugs and you wouldnt think that something as small as that would be the cause of his death. like i said before, that may not be true, and it may be a combination of all the other stuff he did over time...but just hearing the possibility of that kind of thing woud give me reason to be concerned and be cautious about mixing pills and alochol. i've always been told it doesn't mix well in your stomach anyways. just giving you a heads up.

 

i know, thanks, I have made quite a few mistakes with that combination so im gonna chill out with it an djust stick with my normal stuff

 

I'm glad that he's forgiven you. I figured he would. I know you two are crazy about one another.

Sorry about your friend though...I'm sure she'll cool down after a while.

{{{Hugs}}}

 

i could not agree more....

 

OIf you love jhim maybe you shouldnt put yourself in those sorts of situations. I think youre very lucky to be forgiven.

 

i know...i shouldnt have been in that situation...but to be fair I didnt realize how strongly those pills would affect me...which is why i wont take them again...and also this girl has gone the entire time i knew her saying she was straight...it was just weird...but i have realized since that she has alot of emotional and some mental issues so I dont really know what i think about her right now