I had a really weird experience yesterday, and I'd really like some feedback from some other gay folks. Yesterday afternoon I was coming home on the bus, listening to my Walkman, and this guy asked me what I was listening to. He asked me if my name was... (and said my name!) and if I lived on a certain street (my street!). He only gave his first name, and I thought at first that it was someone else with his same first name. Then it dawned on me who it was. It was the first gay person I'd ever met, back when we were in our teens. He had even asked to be my lover after we'd known each other a few years, but I said no because I had met someone else and was kind of serious about him. Besides, we were two very different people who didn't have much else in common and I was getting ready to go out of state to college. I think one of the reasons I doubted it was him when I saw him because he was with a woman who had her hand on his leg and was sort of hanging all over him. We talked a bit about where we'd been and what was going on with our families, etc. Not much really heavy or personal came up. We talked about getting together and talking more later. I'm certainly intensely curious to hear about more of the details and changes. I wrote my name and number on a slip and he took it saying he would call. I'd give even odds at best that he'll call; he's couch surfing among his mother's house, his brother's house and his sister's house. He is in town only because his mother is dying of cancer. What I really want to ask him is is he's str8 or bi or what, and just how did he come to where he is now. Even though he's certainly crossed my mind many times over the years--even to the point of Googling him on the Net--I've never thought of him as husband material. Assuming he actually does call or I see him again, I'm not sure what the best way to handle this is. Any insights?
wow. thats an interested story. i know im (only) 17, so what i say might not carry much weight in this respect, but i reckon meeting up with someone you felt intensely about (friendship or relationship wise) earlier in life is something everyone would probably wish and fantasise about. but, the truth is, he's obviously changed a great deal (i see your age is 43... since high school it has been a while!). not only that, his mum is dying. so probably you need to be a bit hesitant with the "whats deal with the chick on the bus, you bi or what?" question. but hey, im happy that you found someone that meant a bit to you. goodluck with that.
There is a part two to this story. I saw him again on the bus yesterday afternoon and he was alone this time. I told him that I was really surprised to hear that he was getting engaged, particularly since the last time we had seen each other, we were in a gay bar and he kissed me full on the lips! He told me that he wasn't really engaged to her, that she was his best friend and this was what she wanted to think and he was just being nice to her. I said that he should be careful about carrying that too far because he could really hurt her. He says that he won't really marry her. He isn't sure if he is bi or gay or what. He's lived with a man as his lover before (not me ), so I know he's not 100% heterosexual. We're going to try to get together on Saturday. He is couch surfing from his mother's house to his brother's house to his sister's house, so things are going to be weird and complicated.
well its good that you two are getting together to catch up and stuff. if you're still interested in him, and it sounds like you are, why not offer up your house for him to stay if he's just couch surfing... give him your shoulder to cry on. but it seems like you'll be doing the latter anyway, seeing as he seems like a good friend to you. his friend thinks she's engaged to him? what an odd situation he's gotten himself into...
Offering up my house is not an option. I don't live alone, and even if I did live alone and had plenty of room for him it just wouldn't work out. If he lived with me, I'd have to deal with his dysfunctional family (heck, he doesn't really want to deal with them either!) and they've made it clear that they don't like or respect me at all. I'd also have to deal with his "fiancee." As much as I like the guy, he smokes--and it's something I need to avoid for health reasons. He's a nice guy but rather unreliable, and that makes for a bad roommate/housemate situation--the kind that can ruin a friendship. Keeping him as a non-live-in friend makes it more likely to be able to enjoy fun and friendship without unnecessary problems.
A man should never lead a woman on, regardless of orientation. What he is doing to his friend is a mindfuck. If he would treat his friend like this, why should you be any different. If you want to just hook up then I say go for it, no strings attatched but remember, if someone's heart gets broken, strings WERE attatched. I dont know the guy but this reminds me of something i heard once: "Gay, Straight...they all want blowjobs."
