Am I welcome in your abattoir?

I'm not a hippy! I believe in war and death!

I also believe that every child should have the right to devour his own mother as a means of survival. I believe you should show your loved ones how much you care by bashing their skulls in with a louisville slugger.

I use sarcastic, sadistic, satanic, sick morguelike humor as a means of conversation. Most people find my humor derranged, pyscotic, offensive and very disturbing.

Example:

"After gouging the eyeball out with a wooden cooking spoon, I then proceed to skullfuck the socket of christ, while sucking fecal matter from the large intestine. When ejaculation is complete, I then debone the carcass and suit up. I climb into the corpse as if it were a fucking wet suit. Finally, I walk around public gatherings, trying to convince on lookers that I am in fact the son of god and have retuned from the dead just as promised."

I also enjoy women, I believe all women are beautiful, except for the fat ones and the ugly ones. I don't like lesbians, homosexuality is the only thing that disgusts me. I see there are alot of young girls here, don't take my flirting the wrong way, i'm not a pedophile, but i am a necrophile.

Read it over and call me a sick fuck.
I look forward to your entrails falling o, I mean your responses, i'll be judging them on originality.

 

I love it.

"After gouging the eyeball out with a wooden cooking spoon, I then proceed to skullfuck the socket of christ, while sucking fecal matter from the large intestine. When ejaculation is complete, I then debone the carcass and suit up. I climb into the corpse as if it were a fucking wet suit. Finally, I walk around public gatherings, trying to convince on lookers that I am in fact the son of god and have retuned from the dead just as promised."

The imagery, the techniques! Fantastic.

Welcome to the party!

 

Thanks!

Did you know that a dog is not like a chicken, he doesn't run around after you cut his head off. A dog does taste better than chicken, But human flesh, that's the most mouth watering meat you'll ever taste.

Have you ever fucked a turtle? Turtle wax makes a great lubricant for turtle fucking, it's good to wedge something in the shell, so he can't close up on you, I learned that the hard way.

 

hehe...if you can wedge your peice in a turtle shell i truly feel sorry for you......

 

That makes two of us! I have to weed through the hair for about thirty minutes before I can locate the peice. It's not big enough to call a vagina. I tried a pump, but it was sucking in too much air. I guess i'll die with the name "No dick Nick", my mother even calls me that.

 

I got stung in the ass three times by a bee. Can I be in the cool sadistic club?

 

Only if I can sting your ass! Sorry, I couldn't resist!
I want you to spray mase in my eyes and gouge a steak knife into my thigh while I attempt to rape you. Sound good? Lets get it on!

 

Umm... awesome!

 

Nice feet baby! I'm gonna have to cut them off for dinner. Are you jewish? I can play Hitler and we can get it on.

 

Umm.. I'm actually German. But I slept with a Jewish guy once. Well, lots of times. :&

 

Have you ever considered a career working with the elderly?

 

Ever slept with an Italian? Want to? You can play Hitler and i'll play Rocky. Hitler was like a bitch!

 

I spend all my time inside a 90 year old woman.

 

I don't think I've had an Italian... I was usually lucky to get last names, let alone their family heritage. Those were the days....

 

Hey goddammit, why don't you just come out and call me a "wop"or a "daggo" or an "inside out ******". Luckily my father was Nordic, so I got a normal last name "Benton".

 

I guess I could call you that. I was going to be nice, but if you're into that, it's cool.

I'm not doing anything until this damn bee sting stops itching. Agh!

 

Poor baby! You need a dagga to come over and scratch it? You know wops are romantic, I could gouge out my heart and give it to you. I think I need to suck the venom out of your beautiful ass.

 

That sounds surprisingly sexy.... I'm amused! I've been hurting for some good old fashioned Italian ravaging....

 

That's a mighty fine turtle you got their. We only live about 6 hours from each other. Do you have that sexy southern acsent? If not, it's alright, i'll just cut out your vocal cord and talk for you.

 

Well, I used to have one, but I trained it out of myself because I thought it made me sound stupid. It does come back when I'm sleepy, though, so if you keep me drugged, you should be fine.
Where do you live?