I dont believe in love, to an extent.

I really dont believe that one person and another person can be in love and live with each other forever. I mean I love my grandparents but only because they take care of me and they teach me stuff. But other then that love is just another word for sex and I dont believe that I will ever love another person. I may be attracted to another person but love, I just cant see it. I go outside and I see people but I dont get any tingly love type feeling when Im around people I could be attracted to. I think its bull.

 

I'm sorry that you feel that way.
Perhaps that will change in the coming years for you.
Of course you won't really feel the same type of love for your grandparents as you would for a lover.
I know that I've been in love.
I think that people really try to pick apart what makes up love too much. It's like picking the raisins out of a cookie- you keep on picking and picking, and pretty soon, the cookie is all crumbs. Just accept it for what it is.
What do you think love is, in your opinion? To me, it is the unlimited acceptance of another being. That is love, plain and simple. But nothing in life can always be simple- other things come into relationships. Of course there are times when your mate pisses you off- that's part of the relationship- working through troubles. It's that willingness to work through the troubles that matters. Sex also comes into the relationship. Sex can be a very confusing thing- for some relationships, it's easy, and is just part of being together. For some people, they become attached to sex, and have big demands, and let those demands rule their relationship. That's when it can become a problem.
I kind of see sex happening with two mindsets. In one mindset, the lover goes into the situation, thinking (consciously OR subconsciously) "I love this person, I want to be one with him or her, I want to give him or her pleasure, and in turn I will also feel pleasure."
The other way, which people tend to see in a negative light, is a mindset like this: "I am horny, I want to feel good." Notice that in this circumstance, the person isn't aware of the other person, but only himself. There's nothing necessarily wrong with this type of sex, as long as it is mutual. Or if this type of sex happens in a long term relationship, its okay, as long as that isn't what happens all the time.
So basically what I'm trying to say is, don't worry. Not everyone feels that type of love as early adults. There are so many human emotions and feelings, and love is one of the many. You'll come across it someday, and you'll (no pun intended) love it!
Cheers, and Love,
Dylan

 

When you actually fall in love, you'll understand what it means.

As Dylan said, it's pretty much the unconditional acceptance and respect for a person.

wow that looks really lame in writing. that's how strong love is.

 

You only love your grandparents cuz they take care of you? They take care of you & teach you things and this is the only reason you love them? You honestly don't feel any love for them other then for this reason?

Love is the greatest thing in the world and I'm sorry you do not have the ability to feel this. Perhaps one day you will fall in love with a girl or probably a guy since you are in the gay forum and you'll realize what love is. Perhaps you just don't know what love is. I hope so.

 

I think that idea of romantic love is untrue, to idealize someone in one's mind is to deceive onself, the main cause of future disappointment.
Love only works when one avoid the idealization and try to see the other person as he or she is, with the good things and the bad ones, because nobody is perfect. And if you can love the other person for what he or she is and despite what he or she is then that may work, that is for me truly to love someone.

 

Andrenio, I disagree with you.
Yes, movie love can't always happen. but it most certainly can, and that isn't always the signs of an unbalanced, not-good relationship.
It's perfectly natural for one to highlight all of the positive attributes in their lover. It's also perfecntly natural for one to begin noticing the negative things about their lover as time goes on. it's all a process. It's not that you have to remind yourself "Okay, let's not think to highly of him/her, because he/she is fucked up in some shape or form!"
To say that idealizing somoene is the main cause of future disappointment is rather pessimistic. I think that it is, as i said, natural to notice all the great things abuot ones lover.

 

i can understand the grandparents part, family is just random people stuck together with no underlineing connection other then blood, though some family members i do really cherish in the non-love sort of way, their are a lot that we just care about becasue that what families do care for one another

Romatic love, i remeber what its like before i had idea that it existed. It is easy to never belive in it, espically when you've never experianced it. It is hard to label becasue it is like a dream or an idea. I have been in a relationship were their was no real connection just a physical attraction

Though all the people that i might of loved never developed to make it possible for that affection to mature to love i still belived it could of been there. Love is the ultimate fantasy the idea that their could be such an underlying connection between to people. I never had it returned or comfirmed but i know it is out their even if it chooses to never find me.

Their two levels to look at when you look at some one with attraction, the sex and skin part and the heart and head part. pals who you can hold and tell everything too , the bonding of physcial and mental closeness, if i could find that then i think love would be there.

Talking with a freind who never really loved anyone but had sex with a few it easy to be pessimistic about it. but alas i belivie simply in the end love is out their in various forms waiting to excavated, i want to find it but i doubt i ever really will

 

Hi Zeppelin Kid, falling in love and living with one other person the rest of your life is NOT for everyone.



Some people will marry the first person that shows them any form of love or commitment. Some people are simply happiest being a bachelor and there’s nothing wrong with that.



Either way you choose there will always be drawbacks. Life, Love, Living its all very complicated and there are no easy step by step answers. We all find the answers we are looking for with time and patients and by never giving up.



If you seek the answers about life and love stop talking and simply “LISTEN” to the old people, they have gone through it all and know what they are talking about because they have the experience!



You wrote, “I go outside and I see people but I dont get any tingly love type feeling when Im around people I could be attracted to.” It sounds like you are looking for, “Love at first sight” because that is what you described. Love at first sight only exists for a very select few, very few people know what they really want and even fewer have the ability to recognize it when they do finally find it.



Finding Mr. or Mrs. right is not the key to happiness, the key to happiness lies inside each individual. You have to love yourself first, before you will be able to share your love and yourself with another person. Finding a person to love is not going to fix you as a person. In order to like yourself first you have to accept who you are as an individual and as a person, you have to learn to accept and love the good in you as well as the bad.



Some people are content with themselves from the day of birth, for others it’s a life long struggle. Either way it has to do with your ability to accept the things you can’t change and the ability to change the things you can.



The bottom line is you have to love yourself and be content with yourself before you can be content and fall in love with another person.



The perfect person does not exist, you will only find the “perfect person” is in the movies or some silly love song. In reality any happy relationship is all about commitment and accepting yourself along with the other persons good points as well as the bad and learning how to co-exist and forgive when they don’t live up to your expectations and vise versa. That is the closest you will ever be to total happiness, I say, “the closest” because “total contentment” does not exist in this world.

 

There are many kinds of love. You love god. You love strawberries and the color purple. You love postcards and fishing. You love animals and books. You love your family and your lover. But we are talking about the last kind of love, love for a lover. That is a feeling that is undeniable, but some folks never experience it or fail to understand it when it does happen.

Love is a state of being. You don't "fall in love" anymore than you "fall in wisdom" or "fall in beauty." Love is something you attain in yourself. You attain love, you attain wisdom, you attain beauty. Once you have found it, you can share it with someone else. And you'll want to share it.

You find the love in yourself first. That thing, where you are dependent on someone else for your love: that isn't love. True Love is never dependent on another. You develop the ability to love, then it just pours out. You don't fall in love with the perfect woman or man. You share the love you have with another.

Yeah, but when you have attained that state of being, (it can happen with out you even noticing it, like you can gain wisdom without noticing it,) you may meet someone else who has found love and that is how "love at first sight" happens. On sight, you recognize the other persons ability to love, like gaydar, because you recognize it in yourself. And if that is someone you can share your life with then people call it "love at first sight" and "true love."

Some people never develop a capacity for love. They never attain love in themselves. I think of lonely old bachelors.

Some people learn it after they commit to someone else. They have lust or needs, and once that is met they find an ability to love. I think of the many marriages of the past.

Some people have the capacity to love but choose not to share it with one person. I think of monks and nuns and artists.

zeppelin_kid, You "don't believe that one person and another person can be in love and live with each other forever." It does happen. But some of us are unready for it or may never wish to experience it. It's okay if you don't. You may never understand it and you don't have to, either. Often, that tingly feeling doesn't happen to men until they are in their 30's.

I'm different than you, I "fall in love" twice a month; maybe for a minute or second; maybe for a day. But the feeling is the same for me. It's intense and always the same. It's like a prayer. I am sending a great, healing energy toward someone and I feel powerless from stopping my blessings.

 

I love strawberries! I love the movie "Withnail and I" And I love my lover with a passion that makes me think of the old Roxy Music song "Love is the Drug"

Very well stated Mychal

 

Gosh, someone has a cynical outlook on love. I think those brain chemicals you're talking about are the same ones that are activated by smoking crack--isn't that one of the most addictive drugs on earth? Yeah, love is a drug but that doesn't make it any less real. And if you can get that feeling without having to actually smoke the crack--well--there you go.

Peace!

 

That may well be. But damn, what a mighty potion of brain chemicals it is! If you could discover and bottle those chemicals, you'd make billions.

 

im sorry for the people who don't see love as real or genuine. maybe someday you'll see it. i know i have already.
love,
dylan

 

Good for you Dylan and everyone else who has known love in their life. I agree with you One Hundred percent!

I believe a lot of people "push" love away simply because they are afraid or are not ready for commitment.

There are a lot of people who carry the deep wounds and scars of family break-ups and ugly divorces. Also, a lot of people are very content with a promiscuous life style.

"The greatest thing you will ever know is to love and be loved in return" ~ Moulin Rouge

 

Pain stems from a similar primal survival instinct. Doesn't make it a crock of shit. If a scientific explanation for something stops it working for you, you really don't get science.

 

It may be bull for you, but that doesn't make it bull for anyone else. My dad was very obviously in love with his ex-boyfriend.

 

I used to tell myself that i didnt beleive in love, that it was a bunch of bullshit and all that, I went through a number of short lived relationships that solidified my beleif that love was a load. got together with my now ex boyfriend I realized many things about love, often those who don't beleive in love just havent found the right person yet. Is all good though we broke up cause we live too far apart now but im gonna go see him this week .