why is it that what ever site you read and what ever the topic is, the opinion giver usually ends up either asking if you masterbate or tells you to do that!!! from my experience with the problems that ive been having, masterbating or not doesnt/wouldnt make the slightest difference and in many casess that i have read it just never strikes me as to those asking for the help it wouldnt make much difference to them, so why do you all do it, ask the question that is.
are you asking me the question? cause if you are then the answer is no i dont!! at all ever, even during sex, him yes me no.
Because masturbation is the elixir of life and the answer to all sexual problems, both real and imagined. Besides, May is International Masturbation Month! Yippee!
in my case it doesnt cure or solve anything, and as for the exilir of life, well im putting the kettle on for a cup of coffee as that seems to have better results. masterbation, or just the attempt that i make at it just seems to re inforce how bloody useless i am and does nothing to fix the problems within our sex life. if i cant even get it on on my own, with no pressure or anything then how the hell am i ever going to get with him? off for a coffee
Because sex therapists usually suggest masturbation as a method to overcome the lack of orgasm. Dr. Lonnie Barbach, the author of the book, "For Yourself: The Fullfillment Of Female Sexuality", as I have mentioned in the past, is one of many such sex therapists.
well as i have said in the past, the motivation just isnt coming to me. i mean without any feeling coming through, without getting anything from relating what you see going on in porn/erotic stories, i mean if you watch someone getting a head massage but youve never had that yourself, then how/why would you be able to "feel" the pleasure from that? ok yes ive had sex, but without the so called feelings of excitement leading to orgasm how the heck do i know what im doing, if , as in my case i can touch any part of my body i want but it is no different than say when im washing myself whats the point, im just touching for the sake of touching with no feeling either way, good or bad. so then comes the mental part of it, again without the being able to relate to what is going on and how that felt etc seeing someone say one the street and then being able to put that person into some part of your head and embelish on that to make something in your head "feel" real, how do you do it? i can watch a film on tv say, but i know that its just acting, and at the end of the take they will get up and put their coats on and go home!!!! i dont read books at all, well i have read a few but its just a load of words, i never get in to it and even understand the plot at all, for example even on tv lately The Matrix trilogy has been on, we have the dvds of this, i have been in the house when this is on, seen it many times, but havent got a clue as to what the hell its about. so you can see my problem with trying to read books, it really is just words to me, unlike my hubby who looses himself totally in it and excludes all life once he has a book in his hand!!!! what do you do to get through this mental barrier then if your life doesnt provide the sources to get you there.
YOU have to provide them. Fantasy is ALL in your head. I see guys in the grocery store that I go home and fantasize about. It's either in your head or nowhere at all.
ok then in my case the later!!!!!! so what then??? as i said if i havent the "experiences" needed to embellish, if you go home and start thinking about the guy make something up, i dont know, how he got you into bed or something did what you did etc, surely it becomes like the book that i just read, its words, or in the case of fantasy its nothing more than a thought, it doesnt provide me with anything more than "well what am i cooking for dinner" interest, btw i hate cooking !!!!!
it's a slow process masturbation can help a lot of people because it helps get you in tune with what turns you on. No you don't have to orgasm to enjoy a session of masturbation, it's about pleasuring yourself in a sexual manner. Orgasms are great but so is everything leading up to them, and a lot of the stuff that tends to follow. It sounds like you're just so frustrated in wanting the answer now and none of hte little steps between here and there that you can't listen to advice, that you can't wrap your brain around what others are saying be it here, through book or through video.
to be honest with you i have more or less given up on the fact, and i am starting accept that it will never happen for me, but i can still ask a few questions cant i?
i was actually thinking that at some stage of making love my body isnt doing something that is should be! you know the stuff that "just happens" the things that you can feel but dont even think about it at all, i mean you dont think about breathing do you but you know that you do it!!! perhaps that an explainationas to why im having so many difficulties? this sounds silly but can some of you tell me exactly what your body is doing = everything
