17 year old Teen with Aspegers looking for advice

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http://www.brighttots.com/Aspergers.html

I had to look that up. Forgive me if it isn't a great link.

I hate hearing about stuff like this. That stinks.

...Staying in..I hate to break it to you, but safety is a myth. Nothing is safe, the only reality is survival. That situation you're in sounds suspiciously like a house of cards...Sooner or later the world will upset it.
A suggestion that comes to mind would be finding a martial arts program for special needs people. I'm not sure if you could find one, or if you'd be interested...
Not everyone is like those rotten people. I fear you may be robbing yourself of the opportunity to find those other folks out there. It's good that you came in to talk about it.
(((hugs)))

 

Chris, I replied to one of your other posts, but I have to ask you, is there any sort of medication or counselling you could go to that might help you? Does your university offer counselling? I know it's a medical condition you have, but you might be able to ease yourself out into the world if you have a professional to talk to and offer suggestions. Someone that understands Asperger's and knows of studies that have helped other kids might be able to help you learn to socialize. I'm sorry people have been so cruel, but not everyone is hateful and it's not terribly hard to find a loving heart.

 

Chris_1661

 

bullying and harrassment can work 2 ways .......when i was younger and later on your age i felt a bit like you ..when i went to school i got bullied a bit but mostly i was taunted mercilessly because when i spoke of something i'd get ridiculed in class and a lot of times by my own teachers ........took me a while to realize that i spoke in concepts that they had no clue what i was talking about and that some of the teachers i had were just there for the pay .they sure as hell weren't there for their brains ,,,,,,,,,,the one thing it did for me was to toughen up my skin ....now when people mock or ridicule me or try to belittle me ,it just bacfires on them because i couldn't care less what people thing .as far as someone offering me physical violence ,i come from a small community and most people who like to fight just avoid me altogether ...........even though i haven't been in tae kwon do for years .......a good martial arts program would do you good ..if not wear clothing with martial arts logos on them .......most bullies are bigger cowards than you are ......what they don't know they fear .....so keep some aspect of yourself in a way that they will not be sure of ....like walking with your head high like you don't have a care in the world .....but the biggest thing in life .....start by not giving a damned what people think of you ...they can not see inside your brain ...so who are they to judge you??

 

My brother suffers from Aspergers syndrome. He is unlike you in the anti social aspect. He thrives on fitting in, so much that he falls into the wrong crowd. He might be going to jail for five years because of this. He socially is not up to par with most other 18 year old boys but don't worry, you can function, he is a functioning kid. I know saying to you, stop living in fear and things will work out, won't work. You need to find something that makes you feel comfortable. Staying at home might be comfortable but you aren't happy. Try with a small group through your university (like a group that has something to do with your hobbies)...

Everybody deals with things differently, you don't want to go to therapy so reconsider other options... maybe an online group?

Like Kinky Ramona said, not everyone is hateful and mean, you will find what it is that makes you happiest and go with it.

I know you don't want sympathy, and it won't help to give it to you anyway. I can say that I feel your pain though. I have seen how my brother been affected from Aspergers. Don't let it hold you back, don't use it as a crutch.

 

Counsellors usually have a confidentiality requirement, and let you read over the policy at hand. Call and ask about it. I know that the free counselling services at my university aren't allowed to discuss it with anyone outside of the counselling place unless you're designated as having serious potential to harm yourself or others, and they can't use names when discussing cases with their coworkers for advice and the like. They just say "this person" or the like.

 

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Marshal arts dude, great for confidence and staying fit. A friend of mine had simular issues when we were young, he wanted to fit in and ended up in lots of trouble, he spent lots of time in (JD) one of the (JD) teachers was an owner of a Karate place, he made my friend join as a condition for his release from (JD). He gained all the confidence he needed, competed in Karate including the Goodwill games in Australia in the early 90's, got into kick boxing competed locally in it and now just instructs. He was a very small 5'4" hispanic kid whos father was jewish and mother was mexican. He was not picked on but rather tortured, he to this day has never gotten over 130 pounds. After he got good at karate, he never started fights anymore but ended many. 1 year and only about 4 fights terminated any ideas of them football players wanting to mess with him. Seriously no matter what, find a good (hard to do) marshal arts instructor, join, work out, have fun, gives you an outing, explain your problem to him and he if able will work with you and if he cant others may or he may know of others. He may assign one of the more advanced students to work with you special so it will assist you in your fears of being out and slowly build you up to be able to have that confidence you lack.

 

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There are many forms of martial arts, not all involve actual hardcore fighting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martial_arts#Light_and_medium-contact_sparring

Chris 1661, if you scroll down you'll see that there is medium-light sparring, & even dance.

 

you dont fight unless you desire to, you learn moves, respect, discipline, confidence. Your hitting bags and only when you feel ready would they allow you to spare with another, trust me a good instructor would listen to you, and never put you in harms way. Most good instructors do it becuase they enjoy it and get delight in seeing you grow. Karate, Judo, ect are not like TV, it is an art in every sense of the word. You can try alot out for free too just to se if ya can handle it.

 

As kids get older, they tend to, shall we say, grow up, and realize that it's not fucking funny to push kids around who are already having a hard enough time, such as yourself. In college, people tend to be much more open-minded as well, so I hope you encounter more support and tolerance there.

That said, I swear by martial arts. My father is a taekwondo instructor and I feel extremely fortunate for that, because what he's taught me has made me feel so much safer out in the world. Just because you learn it, doesn't necessarily mean you're planning to or are going to have to fight someday, however, it's good to be prepared. I have to agree that you should learn it. Not only does it give you the skills to defend yourself if need be, but you feel much safer and much more capable in your world. Learning martial arts really changes your attitude as well.

If there is a YMCA near you, you might be able to get some good classes for cheaper with a membership, or if not, there are a lot of different schools popping up all over the place. Look into taekwondo or jiu jitsu. It makes me so sad and angry to hear that you have been treated so badly and are living in so much fear, and I really hope that you're able to overcome this. Best wishes, man.