Gay ocd? (merged with) I am paranoid about being gay. I need help.

First off ever since I seen a woman naked(in a magazine, im a virgin)I have always felt attracted to it and to this day still am attracted to women. But one day a guy said I may be gay or thought I was and then I started questioning myself. I have been unsure about my sexuality because I know I like women but I also see a slight attraction in guys too but its mainly only a, Hey that guy is good looking. But Im not sure if that will turn into something more. Im not sure because I like looking at good looking guys but Ive always felt an attraction to women. So lately Im in the thought process of being bisexual but somehow I still dont know what I am. Can someone help me figure out things and maybe someone knows what I am going through.

 

No one can figure out things for you, but I can try and help you understand.
With me, I first thought that I was bisexual. I would look at girls and think they were pretty, but was never sexually attracted. I just assumed that I wasn't "old enough" or something, to have sexual thoughts. Kind of like you said, I started to like looking at good looking guys. It started very very very small- maybe I saw a handsome movie star, and I would think "wow." or something like that. Then I thought more and more. The next step was that I would look up pictures of male celebrities that I thought were handsome. Then I looked at guys in catalogues. I still thought that it was a phase. Then I searched for shirtless male pictures (I still hadn't ever masturbated or anything).
One day, I tried masturbating for the first time. I got on the internet, and looked up straight porn. No matter what I did, I could not get hard, and thus couldn't masturbate. It was so frustrating! Then I found a webcam site with girls, and I noticed that every time the girl shoved the dildo in her mouth I got excited. Then I realized it was the idea of a penis that got me going, not a girl.
So, I went to a male webcam site, where they weren't allowed to get nude unless you paid them like 3405490 dollars. And I realized I enjoyed that, as opposed to the girl wecam site.
And pretty much, I began admitting to myself that I was bisexual.
I tried masturbating again, without the thoughts of anyone really, but I tried really hard to think of boobs when I was about to cum. But that didn't help either.
I went on for 8 months as bisexual, then broke up with my girlfriend of a year. Soon after, I had my first boyfriend. After that, I realized I was gay, since I had never had any feelings such as those towards my boyfriend before.
It sounds to me that you might be bisexual. Don't freak out though. I remember what it was like, first admitting to myself that I was bi, and imagining myself kissing another guy. It was really STRANGE. Just try and think about whether you'd ever be willing to do something with a guy- and BE HONEST, don't let your "macho" ego get in the way. Denying it won't help, so it's better that you open up and think about it. Maybe even experiment with a guy (it doesn't have to be sex). Then after that experience, think about how it felt and whether it was enjoyable, and if that is at all what you want.

The only thing I can say NOT to do is deny it- just explore yourself, and don't take things too hard- take them lightly.

I hope what I said helped.
Cheers,
Dylan

 

im in the exact same situation as your described zeppellin, and it's EFFN frustrating.

I've always been attracted to girls, but lately, i kinda found an attraction to guys also. But not a sexual attraction. But as you described, hey that looks good, as a rose, or a car............not in a sexual way.

I havn't yet come to a conclusion as to what I am, but I think i'm something like 90% straight 10% bi. Don't know if this is poissible, but it's what i feel like i am. I don't think 100% gay people go through what we're going through. I think gay's always knew they we're gay, and never really found an attraction to women.

But alltogether, I'm still not exactly sure, still thinking about it.

Piano person, how did you feel with your girlfriend. Was it like just something to do, because all your friends we're dating girls, or did you have an emotional attraction and developed a bond with your girlfriend.? i'm asking cuz somedays i get a little paranoid, and start telling myself I"m gay, cuz why else would i be attracted to guys, then I'd think about it, and then tell myself, you we're madly in luv with a girl, so there's no way i can be gay. maybe you can help me out little.

 

Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me, occupy my brain?
Oh yeah
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late

 

Some people believe that a person with ocd can become obcessed that they are gay when in fact they arent at all. They just keep obcessing about the thought of being gay and even when you know you arent you keep getting obcessed.

And the straight ocd is a gay person who has a fear of being straight when they know theyre gay. This is similiar to the other ocd disorder.

 

LOL, "gay/straight ocd"...as if it always revolved around sexual orientation.

I had OCD but I grew out of it, I guess. Never had "gay ocd".

 

Its a very true statement because you will probably know a paranoid person who you know is straight but he always thinks he could be gay. Even though no one sees him as gay only a confused straight kid.

 

Hmm...it doesn't really sound like OCD.

It sounds like somebody who is very unsure of themself.

 

im OC right now about 3.5 Ghz. but can go faster.

 

what he said...

 

Yeah my only advice for "this person" is to just take a moment and think of how big a deal it isn't. Gay and straight are just words, they're labels. You are who you are, worrying isn't going to do any good.

 

Yes but what you people dont understand is that thes so call gay ocd'ers are absolutely paranoid and obcessed with the fact they could be and the huge downside of being gay, or straight for the other category. Its just recurring thought that haunts them when ever they do anything that could possibly make them look it or reinforce it in their minds.

 

Yet another list of song lyrics by last stand......

 

agreed.

 

Just don't worry about it. You'll figure out over time.

 

Let me offer some insight. I have OCD-like symptoms. They're not destructive ones, and they're probably not intense enough as to actually qualify me as an OCD patient. I also happen to be gay and I can tell you that I find the OP to be true, for myself at least. I cannot remember any substantial attraction to girls ever in my life; only for guys. Yet, I'm drawn to question, albeit not too intense. I know I'm gay, but an irrational doubt remains. I don't think it would be any different with regard to such thoughts had I been straight.

Society, from the moment you're old enough, insinuates heterosexuality; you grow up expecting to be turned on by opposite sex members. When you find this isn't the case for you, you might be prompted for re-evaluation. OCD can cultivate a certain form of recurring re-evaluation, I find. Sans OCD, one might find an instance in which they <i>might</i> have had feelings for an opposite sex member, amplify this while ditching all conflicting attractions, and you have one mislead individual who has applied a terribly fallacious confirmation bias to their situation. While the non-OCD patient may re-think and correct, the OCD patient may continue with doubt however they shift.

Just my opinions. Of course, OCD does not necessitate confusion as to sexual orientation. In fact, most probably don't. However, it is certainly reminiscent of OCD to obsess over what one thinks of their nature.

 

Very true.

But paranoia, and ocd are very different. It sounds like the symptoms the op was describing correlated more with paranoia.

 

I think every teen, gay or straight, feels uncertain about being gay or straight, or has that paranoia.

But a Straight Dude who has a bona fide OCD
centered on being Gay?
His name is Fred Phelps.

.

 

people sure as hell did not in the 60s ,70s, 80s, they keept a low key everyone knew who they were BUT NOT PARANOID .

 

met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola [LP version: Coca-Cola]
See-oh-el-aye cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola
El-oh-el-aye Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Well I'm not the world's most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Well we drank champagne and danced all night
Under electric candlelight
She picked me up and sat me on her knee
And said dear boy won't you come home with me
Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy
But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my Lola
La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

I pushed her away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor
I got down on my knees
Then I looked at her and she at me

Well that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my Lola
La-la-la-la Lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola
La-la-la-la Lola

Well I left home just a week before
And I'd never ever kissed a woman before
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said dear boy I'm gonna make you a man

Well I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lola
La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola