things you dont want to hear before sex...

AHAHAHA! ooh ouch!

 

omg!!!!!!!!!! I see you've met my ex fiance lol...wait tilll they find out you can't cook or clean and you ctually add to the mess...it's funny shit

 

*upstairs at a frat party*

"...wow this is a fun place! maybe i'll go to this college after I graduate highschool next year"!

 

"i hope you're as good as your mom"

 

"are you sure its in?"

for a male, that would be a bummer to hear

 

that's happened to my friend...hahaha, though she had just turned 17....my friend just got up and left

 

Smart fella.

 

"wow never been with a hairy woman"

 

"You better be into eating pussy, or I'm telling my big, psycho boyfriend about this"

 

can we make this fast, i have to be somewhere
does this look contagous to you?
ive never done this before
theres something you should know before we start
where do i know you from?
its cash only
can we wait till the movies over?
barrrrf
i dont like sex very much

yeah i know i repeated other ones, so sue me

 

well, I think I got all the corn outta there.......

 

and I hope you respond with "and you never will be"





Peace, Love, and Chiclets

-Lemm

 

"damn was that the cat? who farted?"

 

oh shit, I thought you were a dude

 

"can i shave you?"

 

The last woman I was with asked, "Who do you think you're gonna please with that?" To which I responded "Me!"









Peace, Love, and Dunkin Yo Yo's

-Lemm

 

"Wow you're hung just like my brother!"








Peace, Love, and Ewwwwwww!!!!

-Lemm

 

"mind if i snort a line off your asscrack??"

 

What gerbil?????









Peace, Love, and Mouse Traps,

-Lemm

 

"can we make this quick? my wifes gonna be home soon"