I have a good friend who is dealing with an eating disorder and I was wondering what type of advice you all have for me. I want to be supportive and try to help her with this struggle. We talk about are problems a lot, usually from a mental health point of view, althought I'm carefull never to say that I understand her ED because I don't. I have other mental health issues so I can undestand the OCD side of things, but I don't have the same distortions of body image/ food/ health, so approching topics like these in our conversations is very scary. She has already been hospitalized once and is on the verge of having to be re-admitted. But as I mentioned I want to be there for her and help in any way I can, so any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!!!! Thanks!
well there is nothing you can really DO... except be a supportive friend and only get involved if she asks you to. encourage her to see a doctor, but being forceful will only make tihngs worse. check out the eating disorder thread to read more about it if you are unsure about it. good luck to you and your friend.
Agreed with dietcoketree... You must treat this like a fragile situation, because it is. Pushing too hard can be an incentive for your friend to feel more inclined to continue with not eating/purging/etc. Because for many people it's a control issue, you must be careful to make sure that your concern doesn't get in the way with them feeling like they still have the choice, and control in the matter. If things get too severe.... I would tell a respectable adult...her parents, or her doctor, etc. whoever you feel would handle it most responsibly. But yeah, there isn't much you can do... this is something that, unfortunately she's going to have to work through herself.
Thank you both for your responses. I think I need to clarify the type of advice I'm talking about... My friend an I are both adults. We are responsible people who have families and work full-time together. As I mentioned, she has been in the hospital before and went there on her own free will. We are both strong enough to admit that we have problems and experienced enough to try to manage our isses before they get out of control. We understand that this is about management. Let me clarify by asking a few questions, if you have an ED: What types of things would a supportive caring friend do for you? What types of things could a good friend say that would make you feel cared for?
Thank you both for your responses. I think I need to clarify the type of advice I'm talking about... My friend an I are both adults. We are responsible people who have families and work full-time together. As I mentioned, she has been in the hospital before and went there on her own free will. We are both strong enough to admit that we have problems and experienced enough to try to manage our isses before they get out of control. We understand that this is about management. Let me clarify by asking a few questions, if you have an ED: What types of things would a supportive caring friend do for you? What types of things could a good friend say that would make you feel cared for?
What types of things would a supportive caring friend do for you? A supportive friend would be there to listen to me if i needed to cry or scream or yell. They would not make me tell them why, but be open enough to where i would feel comfertable telling them. A supportive friend would understand when i take myself out of situations i dont want to be in. The important thing to be is non-forceful, it makes me feel as if i have to do more to control my surroundings. Be very open minded. What types of things could a good friend say that would make you feel cared for? They would compliment me on non-physical things, such as "your such a good writer" or something like that. i HATE HATE HATE getting compliments on "oh you look good today" or "i love your hair." it makes me feel uglier, if that makes sense. Also, its important to keep the relationship as its always been as much as possible. Dont make your friend feel like your being 'sensitive' to them, even if you are. The one thing i grasp to in hard times is my friends, and if i felt like they were feeling sorry for me at all and trying to 'take care of me,' id be very sad. remember that your friend is still the same person as they always were, they are just going though a hard time. good luck with eveything, i hope i was of some help!
