slowly fallin for a foreign exchange girl but shes leaving in three weeks.what to do?

yah I have gotten some fine advice but just saying "nail her" does nothing. thats not advice, thats being a wise ass.

admit it.

or saying "I have never never seen it work so I conclude that it won't work for you.... SO THERE." is not constructive. There are plenty of things you don't see first hand that work. not everything is tangible or right in front of your face.

thanks for those who put some thought into replies.

thanks to those who came to conclusions and were wise asses, at the very least it gave me a good laugh.

 

it was advice. its what i'd do.

 

Unfortunately, I fell in love with a guy that always had the intention to go back to his fkn country...and no matter what we had, no matter what we built up together......he fkn left me and the uk.....next tuesday will be 2 weeks. I suffer like hell, I feel crap, I'd like to die.....
he was so special, never had anyone like him b4.
He never had anyone like me b4 but that was not enough.
I knew it was a risk.....a knew it since the first day.....but I couldnt help falling in love with him and living it until the end.
And I took him to the airport 10 days ago....it was the wrost day of my life.
Actually, the following days (including today) were even worse than that.
I cant live without him....and I will never accept the fact that he has left me and the uk to go back to such a fkn, sad, depressing place.....
dont know what I will do....
maybe I'll kill myself.....

 

It'll get better, hun.

 

Go to his country
NO, serious, if he is also in love with you - try to make him come back. Or go to his country.

 

I was not being a wise ass but you named me as one. If you don't want to hear people's opinions don't ask for them and please tell me, where in my post was I being a wise ass???

 

send her mail, to her home so when she gets there it will be waiting. it wont help you score, wont be noticed until too late, but everyone likes recieving mail.

 

I didn't mean to name you one. did you notice your name in connection with wise ass? i did quote you..but thats all.

there was a time when I would have just nailed her. but I have reached a point where thats just not enough. I feel exactly like Lya76.

 

I hope so....everybody tells me that time is the only cure...and as I'm 30 already I should know that but.....this time.....I dont know, I really thouhgt we would have been together forver, but I really start thinking that was only my thought.

I spoke with him already 3 times since he left and he seems even more confused now than when he left....he changes his mind 3/4/5 times in one hour....first he said: here is difficult for me.....its so different from london, not sure I'll be able to get used again to this place...maybe I'll come back....blablabla....

And when I asked him if there was any chance for us to get back together he first said yes but at the end of the tel call he said: I dont want u to live hoping that we'll get back together because this wont happen, what we had was too serious for me and its something that now I dont want with u and with anyone else.......

well.....I dont understand him anymore and I think that the only good thing for both of us is taking a break from each other and see what will happen.

Its pointless spending the evenings on Skype hurting each other.....

Does it make sense????

Anyway, I still feel REALLY CRAP.....

 

I was prepared to go...we discussed a lot about this.
But his country is a very problematic one and at the end he didnt want me to go.

I would go tomorrow but he said he doesnt want to be with me anymore and he only wants to be alone.....

 

Im sorry hun
And... About problematic counties - Im from Macedonia, you know... But it doesnt matters

 

I really empathize.. it was almost like reading something out from my past also. But you will learn. You admitted to taking a risk and I do not know about you, but when I took the risks I did then I did NOT comprehend, could not possibly know the agony or the pain afterward. There is no way to know how much pain there is without going through it. Hopefully any future risks you take from now onwards are calculated and not as rash.

By the way I've heard the UK isn't much of a very enlightening place either. I know you're hurt but that country (where he's returning to) is his home. Until you understand this, and love him enough to let go only then can you love again, LIVE again. I know you aren't remotely ready to let go now and grieve as you must. Thank him for your memories because no one can take them away. Forget the killing yourself nonsense. Keep your chin up.

Learning to let go is as crucial as learning to love.

 

I know maybe this sounds stupid, or maybe becouse Im in love and I would do anything for him - I would go.
Dont know. maybe Im naive but I trust love is the most important

 

Anything? That's treading on dangerous ground.

When it comes down to careers, lives, families and the older you become, the more rooted you feel and the less likely one wants to uproot and travel or immigrate. It's a bit more difficult when you've built your life in one place especially in your 30s, 40s and so on. Definitely about priorities.

If I were in his position, I would NEVER expect my partner to relocate. Infact, I would be a bit uncomfortable. If our relationship failed, would he blame me for his midlife crisis? He'd be some wandering nomad who moved for the sake of "love". I have not and at this point, would not, relocate based on love. There is too much I would be putting at stake. Realistically, it's ridiculous. (Personally, for me now).

There's a time and place for everything. If it is feasible and the deal is just as sweet for the other person, by all means. If not, forget it.

 

I think we have to make some sacrifice for our love.
And what if this is the real thing? Just to throw it away and live with memories?
Risk is always here. I can not be happy if I know that maybe Ive lost my real, greatest love that is immortal

 

You cannot lose a love that is immortal. It's all in your mind.

I agree about sacrifice. But disagree entirely with swaying here and there seemingly mindlessly thinking there's just that person or *gasp* there'll be no one for me!

 

carl, i ahve one question before i give my advice....what do you want to happen now (and later) between you and this girl?????
(you may have stated already, but im too lazy to reread at this moment)

 

I really can not understand.
You know, Ill go yo France for about 50 days this summer and the only thing Im scarried about is "how is it gonna be with me and my bf when I come back". And I would do anything to keep him. Couse... Yeah, he is the most important person in my life. I dont know what would I do if I lost him. Man, that would hurt! Ive never been in love before and sorry if this sounds too chidish but I dont want to cry. Im imaging to be with him 4ever...

 

again, if you dont want advice don't post on a public forum.

 

It's okay to dream. Enjoy it and enjoy him. It sounds like you both have something special and life is very funny.

You may not have been in love before, but for others who have been in love and then out of love and able to dream again without being jaded, it is a wonderful beautiful feeling. Whatever you feel now, remember it. You're never too old or have too many 'loves' to stop feeling that way, with or without your first love.

Anyway, I'm very happy for you, girl. I spent much time unnecessarily worrying and arguing, and altogether terrified of the "end" when I was in my first serious relationship. Looking back now, what a real fool I was. An older cousin told me about baggage many years ago and I didn't understand then, and maybe it won't really make sense right now for you either. But with each successive serious relationship, a person is weighed down. We're constantly shaped by our experiences. Love with your whole heart and don't inhibit yourself (not that you would). I can't speak for anyone else, but I myself have not loved again, the way I did the first time. There are deeper, greater loves but much different.

Most of all, be happy!