Why Hippies Don't Hold Up Mini-Marts

1st Hippie: I'm so bored. Hey, I know...let's rob the 7-11!
2nd Hippie: yeah dude let's go for it!
1st Hippie: oh wait shit never mind I can't find my keys.

 

Reason #2;

Hippy Holding gun on clerk: "Put all the money in the bag dude....OH SHIT!!! NACHOS!!!! *hands gun to clerk so his hands are free for nachos*

 

Reason #3: Too busy getting stoned..

 

Reason 4:
The Getaway.
screeeeeeeee-bump!!! ..... damnit, i forgot to put it in reverse.

 

Reason 5:

Stoners arrive at the 7-11
Stoner 1: OK let's do it?
Stoner 2: What were we supposed to do again?
Stoner 1: I don't know I forgot too, what would we want at 7 11?
Stoner 2: Munchies dude.....
Stoner 1: O yeah thats right.

 

reason 6..


"lets go rob the 7/11"

dood ,, theres not a 7/11 for a 2 hour drive,,an yer old ladys workin the quickie mart tonight..

shut the fuck up an smoke while shes still gone..

 

stoner #1 - "hey lets go rob a 7/11
stoner #2 - "hell yea.. lets do it"
stoner #1 - "aww... shit.. aqua teen is on.."
stoner #2 - "hell yea.. we cant go yet"

15min later....

stoner #1 - "hey.. where did you need to go?"
stoner #2 - "go? i dont need to go anywhere"
stoner #1 - "oh.. i thought you did"
stoner #2 - "nope.."
stoner #1 - "oh ok..."

 

stoner - give me money.
clerk - ok, here.
stoner - hold my penus.
clerk - what?
stoner - hold my penus.
clerk - you spelled penis wrong.
stoner - oh
stoner - how can you tell?
clerk - you're welcome
stoner - hey, what's that?
clerk - what?
stoner - that.
clerk - oh that? that's just a SUPEREXREMEPAINLASERSHOOTER!!!!! PCHHHHHEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
stoner - you only said pchew.
clerk - oh, that's right.
stoner - hold my penis.
clerk - ok

 

stoner - *driving to the 7-11* *joint fell on lap(trying to get it off) runs a red light then gets ran over by a dump truck*

poor poor stoner

 

2 stoners walk into a 7-11... both break their head open

 

Stoner A: "Okay, so why are we here again?"
Stoner B: "Uhh. Give me a second."

*silence for about 3 minutes, some led zeppelin playing softly in the background"

Stoner A: *snaps fingers* "Oh shit! I remember!"
Both: "SLURPEES!"

then everyone becomes happy

 

A hippie would rob the store and then discover he's locked the keys inside the getaway car.

 

And you guys wonder why stoners have bad reputations..you guys, were stoner's..so does that make us dumb? Idk about you, but I would never forget something so important..stoned or not.

 

when im blazed...ill forget that i left my lighter or bud out in my house since i live with my rents.... sorta have to plan out what your going to do in steps just to make sure you dont get busted.... i usually just smoke in my bathroom with the shower on so its good either way

 

you'd be too baked to rob a store, one you get in the store you'd prolly forget why your in there.

 

IDK dude. Part of being a healthy happy human being is being able to see the humour in your situation. Hell, freud would argue that humour is just a way to vent subconscious fears and drives. We don't want to be dumb, but pot CAN make us pretty stupid (it's true, when most people are stoned they ain't exactly functioning on a PHD level), and we fear that. We diffuse this fear by poking fun at it.
It's kindof like how i make fun of PA or the Irish, it's healthy to have a poke at yourself once in a while.

newhos reason number seventy billion:
"Leave the gun, take the slurpee."

reason seventy billion and one:
weapon is clogged with resin and won't fire cause the shot gun is used for shot guns.

 

Thats how it always is, we just can't remember it starting out as a heist.

 

stoner 1: Man i think were lost.. ask for directions
stoner 2: Ey.. yee good idea.. pull up beside that white car with blue n red lights on top
stoner 3 (with a joint in his hand): Is their a 7-11 around here we could rob?
*Police Officer*: no sorry only coffee time
stoner 1: screw it lets go home

 

Stoner 1- Dude why are we paying for our food? I have a great idea! lets just hold up the store!
Stoner 2- Dude good idea!

Stoner 1- Hey were robbing the store
Clerk- Uhhh...
Stoner 2- Hahahahaha i can't believe we are trying to rob a store! (more laughing)
Stoner 1-(laughs)
Stoner 2- i am so high... where are we?

 

*too continue KParker's post*
stoner 3 walks in: dude ur cars on fire
stoner 1: I dont have a car
stoner 3: o shit?!
stoner 2 to clerk: can i have a medium coffee please