long story short... been dating this guy for 4 months he believes in plyamoury, i demanded monogamy while we/re dating. except, now i realize i need more than he has to offer. so i suggested we attempt the polyamory thing for real i feel neglected... i don't want to lose him though. i love him more than words can say, but he isnt' everything i need. i feel rejected at every turn, and i don't know how much of it im' making up and how much is real. i need to be needed. i need more/better sex than we've been having. i need to be wanted and desired, and i dont' feel that from him anymore. i mean, it's even stupid little things, like last night we went out for a movie and supper, and he jsut drove me home afterwards, didn't ask if i wanted to cuddle or talk or anything. we discussed when next we're gonna see each other and had decided on tomorrow at noon, but i sent an email later after he'd dropped me off at home suggesting maybe we see each other tongiht and i just sleep over. no response until now, nearly 24 hrs later. and it was just "oh i couldnt' check my email til now because it was scrweing up. anyways, i ahve to call my aprents, love you goodbye" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH we've talked so many tmes about our problems, and they arent getting any better, it's driving me batty. he just got a fulltime job (yay!) but it's the late shift so he isn't done until 10:30pm, and hes going to be away the next three weekends (didn't tell me til yesterday either) so, basically i never get to see him. so, what do y'all think? would polyamoury help? being not-monogamous anymore/dating whoever? breaking up? or sticking it out and trying to make it work, again. i'm at my wits end, i don't know what to do, but i know something needs to change somehow between us for either of us to be happy again.
He doest give a shit about you or your time, polyamourous or not. I'd say time to move on and find everything you need in a man... in one man If he couldnt email you, he could have called to tell you he wasnt coming! or told you in person, or sms messaged you, or sent a letter via pigeon!
You need: And he: Hon, I think you are blessed with clear sight already. I also sense you also have the strength to do what you feel you need to do, but just need somewhere to collect your thoughts properly. I also think you are waiting for that last straw to break the camel's back and are, as a result, restless right now. Even though you know what's good for yourself and what is not. Let's face it, is you compromising yourself for polyamory going to really distract you? Is it going to make him want you more? You're desperately looking for a distraction but know that you'll be throwing yourself into something you don't even want or need. I hope you are able to come to your decision soon. It's not an easy thing realizing the person you love is not a good thing for you nor is he/she the person you can be happy with.
sorry, lemme clarify that i sent an email saying heylet's see each other tonight and he didn't respond for a while, so i sent one tonight saying "fine i guess that's a no, see you tomorrow then" and he called some 10minutes after that to say sorry, his email had been down until right about then. so, he did pick up the phone, just said he didn't get my inital email til recently
The problem is polyamory, right? What does one phone call (a rejection anyway) mean in any of it? I'm not sure but it sounds like you're only making excuses for him. As an outsider, that's what it seems. I may be wrong. Did you truly believe that a person could be 110% there for you and yet love other women?
You have been more than fair with him. You've talked to him about this all repeatedly, and if he has made no effort to improve things for you, then I wouldn't stick around. Think about what you would be dealing with if you found another guy and did the poly thing. So many things could go wrong there especially when you are less than stable with your man now. Honestly? I think it is ultimatum time. As much as it sucks, you have to do what is best for YOU. Living to please someone else while forsaking your own pleasure is not love. You know what you need to do, and you are afraid to do it because you are afraid to be alone, and he is all you know right now. I understand that, but you are young and beautiful, and once you get over the whole thing you'll be better off because of it. I'm not telling you to break up with him, but I'm definitely saying your options are running out if you want to be happy in your relationship.
I think you should forget about him (fake it until it becomes first nature), date other people, except his calls when he calls but make him work for you...you don't wanna be with a guy who isn't willing to do that. I always ask myself 'What am I getting out of this?' and if the answer is pretty close to nothing than I find a replacement or am content being with myself. I would advise you to do the same. You sound attractive and smart you can do way better
just play it cool with him. don't call him don't email him. I recently ended things with a guy partially because he stopped calling, not his fault but if he wanted me bad enough he could have found a way...when I man wants something or somone bad enough they'll do anything they can to get it so we as women have the power to say 'nope no thank you you are not trying and all the other fish are swimming around for me'
So he believes in seeing other girls while hes with you? And your feeling rejected and like the relationship is on its last legs? Isnt it obvious what you should do? It really sounds like hes lost interest, maybe hes seeing someone else (or multiple other people). If you didnt make an effort to contact him, would he contact you? I think you really need to end it, you sound like you deserve much better.
Yup... I agree with everyone else. You should just move on. Doesn't sound like that great of a catch anyway.
you have two options, sit down and discuss ways you can improve and save this relationship and try again or move on. what ever you do don't start adding into this the option of having sex with other people, you don't want that, you don't find the idea attractive, its just adding something negative into this with the hopes of it working out when already it sounds bad enough. if an 'open relationship' isn't your thing, in all probability you won't have sex with anyone else because it will seem really alien to you, and he'll be having sex with every woman who will have him. I'm in a open relationship myself so I'm not against them, but it really doesn't work as a way of sorting a relationship out S
It sounds like the guy has lost interest in you, for one thing, and if I was you, I'd move on. You don't need to compromise what you feel comfortable with to please him. Good luck and hope that helps.
