When relationships start to decay.

All of my relationships have gotten pretty fucked up, too. I am at the point where I believe there is such a thing as real love, but that it doesn't matter for shit.

So I dunno, does that prove you right or wrong? Probably neither.

Send me an IM sometime. I think my blood pressure could stand a nice engaging debate, or something.

 

quitter attitude. sparks don't just happen. you gotta make them happen and quite frankly, it's no wonder why you are not a relationship person. you are not willing to work.

this is true. but reason enough to quit?

ohh great one. teach me your ways...[eye roll] you know just about nothing. i'm not lost in anything but supporting my beautiful children that deserve a better shot than i was delt. perhaps you should be thinking along the same lines? child!

and this my wise master, is the stupidest damn thing i have read so far. the exact opposite is true for me. i was a stubborn shithead as a teen (even at 19) that thought no one could tell me different. every day i learn to 'bend' in ways that i thought were not possible.

i have grown so cynical that i am back to normal. kinda like smoking yourself sober? you child, are the one that seems lost.

done and done

 

I know so many people who are happier now than when they met years ago. It is great to see. I think passionate relationships never decay because there is never boredom and if there is if you are honest enough to express it things can be worked out in fun and uhm kinky ways heheeeeeee.
You might be a roamer and not a nester though. I used to be one and I understand but when you see the light it is so bright and beautiful.

 

I think your relationships may decay because of your self-admitted arrogance. I would not stay or have a good relationship with somone who was arrogant.

 

Hypothetical: There is a woman you like (love) and the two of you get married.
Can you imagine that the work of staying married and building a life together would keep you from "getting bored" with the relationship.

Can you see yourself in a life-long in relationship with a woman working towards a common goal? Where working together towards that goal is part of what keeps you interested in the woman?

Yes, I know. Raising kids is the traditional "goal". My point is that a long relationship is not based on the other person, but on your working together. Its not the woman, its the common goal / lifestyle / effort that keeps things together.

 

The following is me assuming bullshit and going with it (have fun reading):

Maybe your destined to be with people for short periods of time..either that or someone a bit nuts so they keep you on your toes and steer you clear of boredom

or OR..

Maybe you just need to look inside yourself a bit and not look in to relationships as much. You had written that you treated your girlfriends as if they were Goddesses, and apparently your arrogant (from another person's post)..so maybe what your searching for through these other people is..yourself.. and you get bored easily because well..they can only serve that purpose for so long and then it just becomes tiring for you.

I actually have the same issue, boredom. However, I believe in love, the unchemical kind.

This is a metaphor:
You know how they say if you THINK your going to be SICK you can make yourself sick? apparently it's scientifically proven that the mind has immense control over the body..let's relate this to love..if you think love is something that is to be looked at logically, then maybe that's all you'll ever come across plain, old, logical love. Love's more than that though..if you let it be.

 

It sounds like you are doing the right thing for now. One day you might find the woman who can be your partner with for the long haul.

 

I agree with Mike E here. If you say you're not in a place in your life where marriage / settling down longterm is an option, then why worry? Just continue as you are now. I also think ReiCheiRu had some great points, too, about things being the way they are because you think and expect them to be that way.

 

i think that you may realize as you get older that people have many levels, and sometimes it takes years to get to really know a person; yourself included. someday you will look back at this time of your life and realize the mistakes you made, but, in the mean time:

Relationships aren't video games, it isn't aboy "winning" or "losing" it is about sharing your time and energy with someone and having them do the same with you. it sounds like you start off treating your lover like a Goddess and end up treating her like last year's X-box. Maybe you should try treating her (first and last) as your friend (the F in "GF" ya know). if you start to get on eachothers nerves, talke some time for yourself, get some seperate intersts. My ex and I had seperate lives a lot of the time and that meant we were always bringing new energy and stories back to the relationship.

I also enjoyed the rituals we had (well some of them anyway..) sometimes we could have coffee and sitther without talking for a long time and i enjoyed her presance...

Look just try realizing that the woman your with is a person, and that she has given her time an energy to you, and that is a big gift. Try and appretaite what you have...

 

hey folks break up for lots of reasons, we had our - they werent related to boredom but rather to an inability to letgo of enough stuff to move on to the next level.. I never found my ex boring...

 

well LOVE doesn't equal forever (although my ex and I were together six years.. which is a pretty good run for me)... and there were lots of mystical magical times. I would like to believe that there is someone that I am meant to be with forever but i try and concentrating on loving the person i am with (which lately means loving myself ;-) ). and let forever take care of itself.

All i was saying id that each person we get emoitionaly intimate with has more depth than we can fathom at first, and if you slow down and talke your time and work on being with that person you may find they have a lot to teach you (and you them..)

But you are 19... go fool around just don't break any hearts ok?

 

Love is great and wonderful, but it isnt' enough to make everything magically wonderful

You want what you want now, that's totally fine. Just be upfront with the chick before hand, so she at least knows what she's getting into. Let her know about your typical pattern with partners before it gets there, before she feels stomped on and hurt.

Wants and desires change with time, yours will too eventually. Probably. Just a question of time and wanting them to change.

 

lucky for them though
knowing what they're getting into

(guess I'm still a little bitter about hearing, just before being broken up with, "most of my relationships end up this way after about this long". Bleh)

 

Kids, let a grown man tell ya all something very important: Don't marry. Take it from a veteran -- I've been married three times, and if anything, the first time should have taught me never to do it again. You see, a legal union between a man and a woman simply doesn't work for any extended period of time. Your partner starts doing stuff that gets on your nerves, and eventually all of those little things explode into something huge (called "divorce"). Please, for mankind's sake, don't marry.



Remember, I've a veteran. I've fought in the trenches, and I've survived many an encounter with the enemy (known as your "spouse"). Take my word for it, lads.

 

I do not want to be mean but I have known you for a couple of years now. I have seen the old pictures you posted, your old posts. You may be able to fool other 19-year-olds but you are not fooling me. You are on here everynight of the week I think we all no none of us on here are dating or breaking any hearts as we speak lol

 

oh my

 

I dont know, i am divorced once and broken out of a LTR (6 years, engaged), but I never thought of either of these women as 'the enemy'. Maybe marraige isnt for you but I know lots of happy married people, and i hope to be one of them one day.

Once again the terms of combat and conflict come into relationship...

 

If you get bored, it may be your own damn fault. Maybe you should be up front with whoever you are dating and say "I need something new". Maybe she is perfectly comfortable and has no clue of your boredom. Communicate, be honest.

experience something new together! go on an adventure, be risky! me and my gf snuck onto a ship one night and fooled around for a while. there are countless ways to add excitement. if you are in the same town or general area, things must get pretty repetitive, I can relate...so travel and see the world. go on a cross country trip. seeing the country/world is the best way to bond.

you are a smart dude, challenge the next girl you meet philosophically. experience something mind altering together, whatever it may be.

If you are getting predictible responses and storylines out of each girl..to the point where you can see where a relationship is going before it starts, maybe you are to predictible yourself, I am certian it isn't 100% her...so go against the grain, try a new approach.

 

The right one will come when its time.

 

Carl's post reminded me of what my friend said:
"The common thread in all your failed relationships is YOU."

words for thought, no?