hmmmm.. thinking cap is on. im very upset actually that there are only a few men talking on this thread....it upsets me becuase i think that maybe they ARE mainly all out for the snatch!!! scary but true... i think this way becuase my mother was raped when she was sixteen, anwya the point of this thread was thAT THE GOOD GUYS STILL GET THE GUILT ENERGY... maybe thats where understanding s have to be made for each other.... i will certainly take it into account and try not to be sexuist or unersseracirly defensive or afraih of normal men just becuase they are a man.. and i associate bad experieneces with them.. in fact this is what im always trying to do.. and that is life right???!!!
Haha , Acutally there is an example, sometimes you don't notice these things but you wonder , hmm why is she being so "unfriendly" , then you realize it is because she is actually afraid of you for some reason, then you leave her alone to her own turmoil. The fact of life however is this, everyone has some experiences and form some mentalities , the only way to not get affected by those mentalities is to ignore them and one good way to ignore them would be to know that you are not like that. For instance, if you are speaking to a girl and she thinks the only reason you are being so friendly is that you have some sort of a crush on her , then it is her problem, you did not do anything consciously project that and as long as you don't have any sort of "that feeling" with in you, you are just fine. If she gets a confidence boost out of it, or if she despises you for it, it is her problem, not yours.
cant blame women for being scared sometimes "in this day and age" if your not guilty go about your business.
you have girlfriend"S"? A PEEP is a person, I would think, unless its being used as a verb, or something.
Yeah, men, especially large men, tend to be more threatening. But, it depends on the person and the setting... In some cases, from personal experience, it really is any stranger. No, I'm not saying that because I've felt that way about any stranger (tho I'm sure I have, I just don't make the effort to remember such crap). I'm saying that because I've felt like I needed to hurry up and pass someone who seemed uncomfortable about that person (me) walking behind them. Sure, part of it may be the fact that I'm no girly-girl, so was most likely wearing tennis shoes or combat boots when it happened, and I tend to puff myself up to seem tougher when walking alone at night, which comes out in how I hold myself, my stride, etc... But, still, I'm only 5'7, was probably around 125 lbs when I used to walk home alone at night regularly -- not terrribly threatening. It's not tied in to the whole issue of feeling guilty for making people fear me (since I can relate that I would have the same reaction if the situation were reversed), but it happens to women at times too. And, in certain neighborhoods, girls are as scary as guys -- glance at them wrong or glance in the direction of her man, and you might have some big scary bitch up in your face wanting to kick your ass (so she can prove what a bad-ass she is to her friends). That's more a matter of seeing people hanging out somewhere, not obstructing your path but you tense up anyway... But I'm sure just a group of nice guys hanging out having a beer on the front stoop get the same reaction.
WOW! You're right I don't know why I worded my statement like that. That's weird that I said it like that!?. It should have said "never".
I get this reaction a lot when walking around a college campus at night. in the beginning i started to feel pretty guilty about it. i'd dread it more than the woman seemed to, because i'd become uncomfortable at the fact that just my presence was making somebody else so uncomfortable. i thought about what things the person might be thinking that i'm capable of. it was awful..... then i just got over it, realized that i personally didn't have any malintent for anybody and so just tried to ignore the person or a simple hi and just get on with my thoughts/what i was doing. it is a dilemma with no right or wrong answers but i can see why women feel the need to have their guard up, i probably would also if i was a woman. so it's a shame that things are the way they are, but in good reason.
Well, here's a slightly different perspective. I'm a tall, very noticeable (long red hair) man. I try to avoid people when I can. I walk around mostly deep in the woods, and when I do get near someone, I'll usually freeze and duck into the underbrush until they've passed. I loathe cities, I go into Ottawa occasionally because sometimes I have to, and I've been beaten and robbed twice there, attacked with a knife once. I've always had depression and paranoia linked to that, but because of these events and my having worked the nightshift at a gas station downtown for a year and a half (which means the only people I really interacted with during that period were criminals, crackheads, and drunks) the paranoia has inflated dramatically and I can hardly bear to be around people. I left the job in March, and am getting a little better, but I feel incredibly threatened when I'm around men and (getting to the point finally ) to a slightly lesser degree around women, but women are still scary. This goes for when walking around, or in social situations, or in school (which I eventually dropped out of because of these problems)/ work situations. Now, I'm not fishing for sympathy here... you asked for input from men and here's mine.
Well, here's a slightly different perspective. I'm a tall, very noticeable (long red hair) man. I try to avoid people when I can. I walk around mostly deep in the woods, and when I do get near someone, I'll usually freeze and duck into the underbrush until they've passed. I loathe cities, I go into Ottawa occasionally because sometimes I have to, and I've been beaten and robbed twice there, attacked with a knife once. I've always had depression and paranoia, but because of these events and my having worked the nightshift at a gas station downtown for a year and a half (which means the only people I really interacted with during that period were criminals, crackheads, and drunks) the paranoia has inflated dramatically and I can hardly bear to be around people. I left the job in March, and am getting a little better, but I feel incredibly threatened when I'm around men and (getting to the point finally ) to a slightly lesser degree around women, but women are still scary. This goes for when walking around, or in social situations, or in school (which I eventually dropped out of because of these problems)/ work situations. Now, I'm not fishing for sympathy here... you asked for input from men and here's mine.
you're right, women are scary...i see a group of women looking around and laughing sneakily and i break out in a cold sweat. i've caught more hell from women/girls than i ever have from men. though a group of men when i'm alone can make my skin crawl, too. basically a group of people when i'm alone scares me. then i get angry and obnoxious. i end up trying to be the scariest thing, because when you'rethe monster, nothing is going to jump out at you from the dark. i'm scared of the dark, too.
