I think I've gone off the deep end, folks. Can barely eat, and when I do I'm so ravenous I get sick ... can barely sleep, and when I do the dreams are terrible ... can't listen to a number of my favorite songs without falling back into the pit ... can hardly even get out of bed in the morning, much less go about my business. And regardless of whether I stay in bed or not, sometimes the blackness will just hit me randomly during the day ... going places, even lying down in my bed at night, brings back memories so sweet that they close my lungs and I start to cry. The weather is beautiful here. Life is beautiful. I just want to be able to enjoy it again, all the time like I once did. I am not a depressive or dramatic person in real life. Any advice? Even commiseration ... ?
shit. hmmm. the joys of doing drugs, huh! in a way it sounds like your quitting speed but in another way also heroin. i cant really help you here... ummm. trying quitting one drug by compensating it for a lessor drug. smoke pot everyday numerous times, just to get you through this initial "period". thats probably the worst advice ever, but heey... just know that its all apart of the process...
Oh wow! I am not coming off of any drug ... this is all natural. (If you can call it that.) And it is getting better -- much better. I think it was just a major depressive episode ... I do that sometimes. It, however, brings to mind a much greater question -- the symptoms of my major depressive episode mimic the detoxification from several hard-core drugs?! Whoa. What can anyone tell me about this?
alot of things can cause you to feel this way(drugs are one) but if its natural it will go away naturally my advice is just wait it out 'this too shall pass' and yadda yadda don't go on meds if you don't have to meds fucked me up even more i was depressed last year and i went on meds but i stopped taking them and got better on my own although don't stop taking meds without talking to a doc i'd say just talk with someone, talking helps alot good luck with everything ~peace&love
Thanks, yeah! No way I am going on meds -- if I had wanted them I would have just checked into the crazyhouse. Literally, there is one down the street from me ... how great is that?! And I don't have a doctor ... so no worries. I know these pass (fatalist I am not, thankfully ); I ride these out all the time, but this one was worse than most. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make 'em better while they're happening.
perhaps a complete shift in day to day activities. a complete lifestyle change. out with the old in with the new. the same daily routine, same house, same job, set time to do this then that. break it all if you have to. completely turn your life sideways for a week or two, see if that helps. just strap on your bag, with some lunch and water. maybe a tent, and walk, and walk all day. dont plan where your going to walk to, but just go. try to walk near some trees and such. anything to break the grind. it will give you time to think, and the exercise is good for mental health. do what Forrest Gump did, just start running, and running. by the time youve finished, you wont even remember you had a problem.
It's good to hear you're feeling better. I was drawn when I read your post, as I've had this a lot too. About the eating, even if you have to force-feed yourself, it's really important! I was travelling with my dad about a month ago, and I'd hardly eaten that day, and not much the day before, and I had a complete breakdown/freakout. I felt the whole world "ättacking" me and my dad became a monster bent on killing me, so I lost it and my dad pulled over, I stumbled out of the car and fell to the ground and for what seemed like forever my body shook as if I were being electrocuted. And then my dad got out of the car and started approaching me and I was sure I was going to die, and I crawled down into the woods. Eventually with some fresh air I was a little better, but it took me a couple days to recover. This scared me, because I've never come to the point of hallucinating and experiencing what I did that night before then. I've never done acid, but I imagine it was like the worst possible trip you could have. SO The moral is, eat! It's good for you, even if you're convinced you must die, die with a full belly. Love!
I smoke a reasonable amount, but I had breakdowns before I started, so I don't think that caused it. I think it was more under-nourishment, car-sickness and stress all built up.
