I think my friend is a racist

The thing that sucks is that I've known this guy for over 10 years and he's always been a great friend to me. And I don't think he understands that he's a racist. He's a conservative republican and he believes that anyone who is on welfare is there because they're lazy. He doesn't think the white man owes the black man anything because "we weren't even alive then". He just doesn't understand how recent all the shit is. And he's in denial about discrimination in society. he'll say, "Well I'd get discriminated if I tried to get in a black school".
The thing that doesn't make any sense is that he really seems to care about people. I mean he doesn't come right out and directly hate. But he defends the status quo and defends the parts of society that are the most institutionally racist.
Our recent debates about politics have been more heated than ever. What really worries me is that I'm not sure I'm comfortable being this guy's friend anymore.

 

That doesn't sound like he has anything against other races at all, it sounds like he has something against racism and is inteligent enough to realise it goes both ways. If you expect to agree completely with everything your friends say you'll have a very boring and lonely life! Try considering what he's saying from a non racist point of veiw and you may well find that he's not really a racist at all...

 

i think it would be rather childish to lose a friend over something like this myself. i mean i used to have similair views as him and i was a great guy to hang around and still am i just opened up a little more. i wouldnt really call that racist either it seems like that is how everyone in texas is with exception of a few. and there is no reason for the heated arguments over it either i dont think. i have friends that truly are very racist...some of them are black and some are white and some are mexican but they are racist. now if your friend was in the KKK or a white supremacy group well then yes i could understand.

 

I agree with your friend completely and so does Bill Cosby, apparently, who is a very influential figure in African-American society. I live in Baltimore, where SSI reigns supereme, and it seems like almost everyone is on some form of Social Services. The truth of the matter is, when people are allowed to slide by because of their appearence (in this case, they are of different race), the are really selling themselves short. Things like Affirmative Action and what-not prove that bias is in favor of their race. The real end of racism will come when we realize that everyone is a person, we all come from a different culture, but we need to work together to achieve our goals of a peaceful society that is peaceful because we love each other for being human, not because we're just letting people have jobs (welfare, WIC, whatever) because they are black.

 

man...why does the white man owe anything to the black man.......next to a sincere apology.....i mean...ALL people at one time or another have been slaves...so does this mean, that everybody who is of roman decent needs to back up and pay all the people that teyre ancestors took over????...i mena, how the fuck are we supposed to move on if we cant move on???....i know my best friend is black as the ace of spades, and we've had this argument b4...and i ask him...so if you had slaves now...do u think it's fair for your great grandkids to pay for what you done???...and he said no...the problem w/racism is that it's done indiscretely today.....like 1 time we was at wal-mart...this lady pretty much chased us out the store to check his reciept.....and didnt even ask to see mine.....i blurted out..."that's fucked up"....and she just looked at me and said..."i got too".....then i asked, "well, don't ya wanna see mine then..."....she was like uh..." i guess i don't really have to now"....and i just told her that what she did was fucked up again...and the security guard's punk ass was standing there then, and i threw my reciept at her, and made eye contact with the guard who quickly turned his head....... now thats the kinda shit we need to fix...we need to make everyone realize that everyone is equal, however, what we done 50+ yrs ago is irrelevant to what we do today.....and personally this affirmitive action horseshit just makes racisim even worse, because it makes people believe, and is true in alot of cases, that it is easier for a black person to get a job than a white person.....which i see their intentions, but does this really do any good, or should job qualification be based on job qualification.....or should it be based on the person's ethnical background.....which is also shit, because in my eyes were all american, not african american, mexican american, italian american....hell were just fuckin americans, everydamn one of us, regardless of skin color.......and only when people begin to see things like that will racisim be dealt with.......as long as people like you and those looking for free chex from the gov stop saying, well we should pay them all restitution, pissing off the average AMERICAN, knowing that he is giving his tax money to someone who really don't deserve it, based upon they're own personal experience, cuz lord knows they haven't had to endure what they're ancestors endured.....that would fuel racisim 10X over...i mean think about it...or should we just push for equality among all races and in fact do away with the race classification system of the US for it's own citizens....i mean thats fuckin true equality...when were all just 1 fuckin race, we're all the american race........but race classification and affirmitave action are all just a way for the man to ensure that racisim will exist to some extent, and ensure that the separtation of classes will continue how it is, so that "he" can continue on his own quest...whatever it may be....

 

I consider myself an African American, and I have had debates like urs Kilgore Trout. I'm not going to sit here and say there isn't reverse racism b/c there is. But it can never be really as bad b/c if ur white ur in the majority. And the majority in any situation tends to be seen as what is right.

The civil rights movement has moved african americans in the right direction, but there is still work to be done & above anything else, I want ppl to understand that. People say get over it to many African Americans, as long as I'm still being followed in a store or be called ****** or ignorant comments are still being made I will not get over it.

Its not slavery we're fighting against anymore, its not civil rights written on paper that says u cannot discriminate against ppl. based on the color of their skin....2day is the fight for tolerance & acceptance amoung the ppl. and erasing the ignorance. And the ignorance I must say can go both ways.

Its a difficult issue...it really is! And if discrimination was totally gone it wouldn't be a difficult issue. I'm not sure if I get the whole gist of ur friends feelings upon racism and stuff. Maybe u could elaborate for me?! But to me friends can have friendly discussions about such topics, but hey if u do feel truly uncomfortable or u see bad actions to match his words then maybe u should distance urself. BUT ITS UR CALL... u have to weigh what he is saying in ur mind & do whats right for u!

 

But what about situations like mine? Baltimore City is 76% African American, and I am the bastard child (heck the whites don't even like me, I'm a freaking Jew, for Christ's sake...) There is a lot of work to be done to make all peoples equal, I hope that I didn't offend you, but I was speaking from the experience I have of my own neighborhood, where it's actually me who is the odd one out.

Sorry, but that's the way it goes, at least in my neck of the woods. I don't judge a person just because they are black though, I meet them and decide for myself who and what they appear to be. I take it on a person by person basis, I don't lump them all in one catagory. That's like saying all Jews are greedy (I AM NOT, GOSH DARNIT!!! I'm too freaking generous, actually...)

 

We had a long debate about reparations and institutional racism the other night. He refuses to acknowledge that the vast economic divide in our country has been perpetuated long past the days of slavery. In fact, it is still being perpetuated today. He also refuses to admit that the white man got rich off the backs of slaves. If not for them, we would not have the powerful economy we have today.

And hey, I appreciate everyone's comments - even those I don't agree with - however...

I'm sick of hearing the same thing about welfare and social services. While it may be true that some people choose to be lazy and collect benefits, I don't think that it should be the only explanation given. I have been on welfare before myself and collected food stamps. It was at a difficult period in my life and it enabled me to maintain myself and to eventually get back on my feet. There are so many other factors to consider - it's just wrong to assume that if someone is on welfare it means they are lazy.

And it is racist. It may not be true of anyone here, but it's no secret that many people simply believe that blacks are lazy, and that's why so many on welfare are black. When in fact, the largest reason for this situation is lack of opportunity due to discrimination and institutional racism.

We can't just "let it go" until it's actually gone. Otherwise we will only perpetuate it further. I would like to be able to "agree to disagree" with my friend. But on the other hand, there are some things that I think are just wrong and that I can't condone.

 

so do u think affirmitive action helps or hurts the cause??

 

I don't love the idea of it, but yes, I think it helps and it's needed.

 

THE EGYPTIAN PEOPLE DEMAN THEIR REPREMANDS! lol... Yeah right. I just know I dont owe the black man shit... Hell isnt it just as racist for me to be born with this debt to the blacks just because of my skin color? Fuck that thank you kindly. Your friends not racist just for defending racist institutions. Geez man grow up

 

it helps promote more racisim....if you want to eliminate racisim, you need to do away with the whole seperate race thing.....instead of an african american family, it should be an american family........got it...that way in the eye of the government, race is not the issue.......


the issue should be on the person's ability to do what is/would be asked of them...not what color they are....i personally think it's fucked up that somebody can go to college for a particular job, be up to their eyes in loans and shit...and go apply for a job, which he is more than qualified for, and a minority person gets the job, who is less qualified for the position, just so the company can be politically correct...WTF.....is this not reverse racisim...does stuff like this not contribute to racisim even more......

i mean, im far from even semi racist, but i whole heartedly think that, as good intentioned as these civil rights laws were intended, and as much good as they have done for some....isnt it just another form of racisim......

do away with these bull shit laws, get away from race classification...turn up the heat on all forms of racial discrimination however....and b4 long were 1 big integrated happy society....my opinion anyway

 

That don't make no sense. Grow up yerself, whippersnapper.

I agree with the melting pot idea in principle - but it hasn't worked in practice. It's just not possible to suddenly pretend race and racial inequality don't exist. And unfortunately it ends up having the opposite effect of perpetuating the status quo.

 

I dont think my point was conveyed properlly. By defending an institution YOU feel is racist and possibly is inderectlly, it doesn't make him a racist. Now if he were saying "You know what I miss? Segregated schools... I'm sick of having to see blacks and white in the same class, and blacks in front even..." that'd be a different story. Perhaps you'd like to provide a better example. It just sounds to me that his problem isn't racism, but being a republican -rimshot-

 

well lemmie se right nyaw... im part irish so the english owe me around 2000 pounds sterling for 400+ years of oppression. im also part german so the romans owe me 25000 denarii for attacking our soverignty with their evil white-man empire.

 

First off I was referring to what kilgore trout specifically posted. I was responding to his situation! Another thing is I have been exposed to ur situation very much so b/c where I live it is 82% jewish, and its hard for some of the ppl where I live to enter a new world where they are not in this much of minority. Many friends of mine who have graduated and have gone off into the world have often spoken of the lack of acceptance. And for that I am sorry, ppl. don't know who they are missing out on. As sad as this is some ppl. bond with me over their experiances b/c I can relate greatly.

Another thing is one cannot deny that we do live in a world where the majority sees white as better. I'm not saying that its a view everyone has or that discrimination only exists against ppl. of color b/c that would be totally ignorant for me to say and a total lie! But at this pt. I don't even want to say blacks are juz looked down upon, but also ppl. of any color. And at many times especially back past the 1980s Jews were lumped in together with the ppl. of color & today in some places in some ppls. minds they still are.

Some may not agree with my views & thats fine. But to me the only way to stopping the ignorance, and discrimination is to acknowledge what the reality of things are today, and its not as pretty as some choose to believe!

I would also like to add that my skin color for a black person is very light colored. I get discriminated against by just as many balck ppl as i do white ppl. Many won't accpet me in either grp. So in conclusion racism I do believe lives in many, too many, and its very scary! Hope this second post gives u a little more clarity at where I'm at!

 

I cannot relate the welfare issues to my own life, but ur view on welfare should be noted by everyone. Ur experiance allows u to tell ppl. of its benefits. Thanks for the insight!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Differences are always too hard to go through.
I'm a black guy who lives in Brazil, a country known for its diversity and stuff alike...but that's not the true.
Brazilian people are racist and that makes communication a little too hard sometimes.
Most of my friends are white 'cuz of the places I lived and due to the money my family has had.
I totally agree with you DustyStar and the guy with the problem...you were very sensitive to see the real matters and all that it means being part of a "social" minority...I say "social" 'cuz in my country 56% of people are black but 70% of the poor people are black and just 5% of the high society is black, so I do believe in affirmative action politics, as much as i believe that if we can't get along or come to an understanding with friends, sharing at least most of the views we have of the world we are too different to be so close and that makes things a little too hard.

I am too tired of trying to convince people to think the same way I do...that's cuz I usually think a milion times and discuss my thought another milion times to be sure of them and I still keep on discussing...in Brazil I usually tell the friends who don't share the same view to look around and see who are the people in the universities, to watch TV...search for black heroes in their childhood and stuff like that. This way things become so obvious!

Racism in the other way is a way of making "the enemy" tastes their own poison...that's the way I see it...that's the only way I can understand it...but yet not accept it. I surelly don't believe that's the right way, all I know is that the way we're going is not the way I wanna go.

I love you both dustystar and "guy with problem I forgot the name".

 

I belive in equal right for everyone, no bullshit favoritizms.

just as a example here. what would happen if some one tried to open an all white christian school. people would raise bloody hell. But it would be ok to open an all black school, or an all east indian school, or an all jewish school etc etc..... this is discrimation against whites.
And my question is why? whats the diference? the way I see it every race/religion specific institution that opens is doing exactly the same thing. there building up walls to seperate themselves form others who are different. with every new ethnic specific instution you will get more seperation, more missunderstaning, more piss & vinegar and evrery thing else bad that goes along with this.

the way I see it is no person is born with obligations to another person for whatever reason. Why should some white kid who can trace his ancestry back to norwigian sheep herders be born owing anything to a black guy; who is still pissed off that his great great grandady was enslaved by the english a 180 years ago.

 

Cauan,

I wonder if you've seen "City of God". That really opened my eyes up to the realities in Brazil.

As for divisive intitutions, I agree with you in part. I'm no fan of religion or of institutions who seek to exclude and divide. But if you want to understand why there is a need for black colleges, you need to sit down with someone who goes to one. They can do a better job of explaining how the white man "just doesn't get it".