To Pierce or Not to Pierce !! My girls want earrings!

My twin girls will be turning 3 in August, and one of them is such a girlie-girl ,and desperately wants earrings. So what I do to one I will do to the other!( which wants some too) Oh the joy! I just want some input from you other moms who may or may not have had their little ones ears pierced.

I always said that I would never do it. I figured it is their ears, and it was their choice when they wanted to do it. I never wanted to do it when they were infants, again, I just feel it is their own choice. But they are barely 3, LOL and have a wonderful independence already!! Making body modifications and all! It would be awfuly cute I have to say!!

 

I haven't had my twin daughter's ears pierced yet (she just turned 3 last month) but she's been asking for them like crazy lately. She's a girly girl too. Then again, I think she wants them because mommy has them. Just like she wants to wear little toe rings, and anklets, and loves to wear long dresses and skirts just like her mommy. It's so cute.

But I'm not sure what to do. I explain to her that it's going to hurt her, but she still says she wants to have butterfly earrings and flower earrings. That's what she says. Butterflies and flowers. I always said that I would wait until she actually asked to have her ears pierced before having them done, and now she is, but...I don't know. Not sure what to do either.

 

personally, i wouldn't do it. My mom had my ears done when i was 5, and they got infected because I would't let her touch them. We eventually had to go to the doctor to get them taken out. I wouldn't let her touch them because it hurt getting them pierced, and I though it would hurt if she cleaned them.

I got them re-pierced when i was 14, with my own money, once I was old enough to take care of them myself.

 

My girls were 3 and 5 when they begged to get them done. We had them done at a reputable salon, and have never had any probelms. Even when the little ones got infected she let us clean them and take care of it. Some suggestions: Have them done only somewhere you trust to be clean and gentle. Only use sterling silver or gold, nickle can cause sensitivity. Also I have heard that it is best to not use wire hoops until the ears have healed completely, they say 6 weeks but I think it was more like 10 before they were fully healed.

My youngest didn't even flinch, but the older girl just about started to cry, the lady was great, she stuck a mirror in front of her right away, and through the haze of tears she came out with the biggest smile I have ever seen.

 

I would wait until they are old enough to care for them themselves. Earrings are a privilege with responsibility attached and I think momma shouldn't have to clean your privilege for you.

If they really want earrings, they'll still want them when they are older and better ready for them. But three year olds just aren't ready for the responsibility of cleaning open wounds daily, IMO.

 

It is really up to you you know your child better than anyone. My oldeest girls got theirs done at the same time, when they were 5 and 7. They begged to have it done for a few years, but I wanted to wait until 1) they could understand that it would hurt somewhat, and 2) that they had a hand in taking care of their ears 3)they needed to understand that this was a PERMANENT body alteration. (yeah, I know you can let the holes close up, but with my keloid skin, I doubt that would happen, and my kids would be stuck with permanent bumps where the holes had been.)The ears have to be cleaned several times a day, and the earrings have to be turned frequently. A child, IMO, should be able to at least help with this, and not give you a hard time about doing it. (For Instance, kids who put up a fuss about brushing their teeth or bathing probably aren't mature enough for the responsiblity of taking care of permanent jewelry. JMHO.)

My dh's tatoo artist is of the opinion that the guns that jewelry stores are germ ridden as they cannot be autoclaved (a pressure steam sterilizer as they have for hospital instruments) and can contain tissue of the previous user and that a tattoo/piercing parlor, with good repute is the best place to have it done. He says the guns just push a huge chunk of tissue THROUGH the hole, while surgical needle piecing (like parlors do) make a sanitary hole. (Of course, this guy WORKS at a tatto/piercing place, so he has a stake in his opinion.)

That being said, my older girls were pierced at Claire's because I didn't know there was any other way, they did not get any infections or problems, but I am pretty strict about cleaning things like this, and made it clear that if the cleaning wasn't done, the earrings would come out. The people at Claires were nice, they did BOTH ears at the same time (two womyn with two guns) as they said some kids say it hurts too much and want to not have the second one done.

Our experience was similar to busmama, Sunshine made her younger sister go first. I could tel it hurt. but she wouldn't let Sunshine know. The ladies put a mirror in front of the kids before they cried, too. It worked out well, despite the fact that I will most likely use a tattoo parlor if the other two want it done.

My dd Sage, who is 6, has chosen not to have hers pierced right now. But, when she or Lennon decides to, I will use our tattoo/piercing parlor.

Main thing, the child has to want it, the place has to be immaculate and tells you everything you need to know, you need to use surgical steel, sterling or high level gold, no nickel, and they have to be kept VERY clean. Hydrogen peroxide is not recommended as it dries out tissue, the stuff they give you is best.

I think Lennon will probably get a tatto before earrings (although I adore earrings on boys, but it's his body) as his daddy has tats, but no piercings.

FTR, I HATE earrings on babies. The child should consent to any body changes or any pain. Also, earrings are a choking hazard in children under 3.

Odd fact: When I had my ears pierced in 1975, (after years of protesting from my mother that i would look like I "just got off the boat." ONLY a licenced doctor could legally pierce ears in the state. Our local Penney's store had a doctor there to do peircings a few times a year. I had mine done at the same time as my mother, who previously thouhgt pierced ears were for immigrants and "hippys." LOL! )

 

I'd say no just because my hubby has some experiance in a tattoo shop where piercings were done and told me this when we discussed the earring situation... Supposibly the ear piercing gun causes alot of damage and causes scar tissue. Plus, it scares me that all those people at those places aren't trained professionals and can mess them up. On top of that the most important thing is this...those guns CANNOT no matter what they say be cleaned hygenically sooo... if you go to a place where there is alot of traffic such as a mall stand or pagoda whoevers ears have been pierced by that gun you take the risk of being infected with whatever anyone else has in their blood. If you go into a professional shop maybe they would do it? I don't know, where Chris worked they would make you wait until you were 16 with parental consent. They do it with a brand new sterile needle and it supposibly goes over alot easier.

 

It's my understanding that those guns they use a Clairs or wherever don't actually peirce the ear, they just push the peircing stud through the ear lobe. No part of the gun actually perforates any flesh. But I would agree that a peircing parlor would no doubt be the most sanitary. I had my youngest daughter done when she was six. Each kid is different, but we wouldn't get her done earlier since we felt she would be unable to care for them herself. For her six was great. She cleaned and spun them nightly.

 

See that's the thing. I had mine pierced when I was 2 years old, they got severely infected and the earring back actually became imbedded in the back of my ear. My mother had to take a needle and literally dig it out because the skin was growing over it.

So needless to say, she let them close up, and later on down the road I got my ears pierced again and didn't have a problem with them. But I was older too.

So knowing what happening with mine, it makes me really hesitant to let my own daughter have hers done yet.

 

at three, stick on earrings should be good enough. I will not be piercing my kids' ears. It is their decision to make, once they are old enough to understand the idea of permanence. So far, neither of them has any desire for any permanent body modifications.


FWIW - piercing guns cause blunt tissue damage. It should only be done by a professional (not some min wage employee at the mall) and with a sterile needle.

 

I agree with boogie mama.

This happened to Moon when she was five. She hadn't been changing her earrings, as she promised she would. But, the damn tissue grew overnight, almost. I had to use Neosporin, some ice and just......ug.........break the skin. Poor kid. It did heal OK, but I made Bear promise to only buy her earrings meant for adults, those "baby earrings" have tiny tiny backs, which the tissue can grow over quickly.

 

The earring itself is the "piercing" lance or needle (these earring are VERY sharp and thick gage) BUT, the guns push a WAD of tissue through the ear, into the back of the gun, where it may not be removed and the plastic in the guns prevent autoclaving. I wish I had known this 12 years ago.

 

Lovely thought...wads of flesh from previous customers.......

 

I went through phases of wanting my ears pierced. My mother said I had to wait til I was twelve; as it is a big deal for all the reasons everyone else has mentioned about the responsibility. Also just to have something 'grown up' to look forward to.

So I used to have the stick/clip on earings. Though for the most part though I'd just forget about it, got distracted by the next phase. Kids can be pretty fickle, not sure a three year old would totally 'get' the concept of it being forever.

When I did hit twelve and my parents made a show of giving permission (an IOU in my birthday card) I freaked and said no way. Mostl;y because I'm so badly squeamish about needles. Even so have never felt a real compulsion for that degree of body modification [there are so many other kinds of jewelry, not that I'm 'girly' anyway].
Am so glad my parents held out on that one.

 

I went through the same. Virginia is 3 and has been beggin to get her ears pierced for a year. I explained that it would hurt and everything and she knew. She HAD to get the done. So about a month ago I took her and she loves it. She lets me clean them and she turns them everyday so the skin won't adher to them. I've not had any problems with them yet. Now, my 7 year old is scared of everything sharp and pointy so I don't think we'll be piercing her anytime soon...

 

My mom did me when I was 6 mos. She nursed me through it and I was aleep so I didn't feel a thing. She always had earings in us as children. My DS has really sensitive skin so hers always were infected. I finally quit wearing them and they closed for the most part. I got them re-pearced a few years ago and now only wear them when we go out. As for whether or not to allow the girls, I would say wait. You are there to guide them. You do need to foster individuality, but you also must shelter them and teach them the meaning of their actions. I would wait until they understand a bit more the permanence of their actions. Sticky earings are lovely!

 

I think sticky earrings would be the thing to go with right now. My parents made me wait until spring break when I was 9 to get mine pierced. Spring break because we used to have a pool and I wanted them to heal so I could swim. Hehe. But icky, I got them pierced at Claire's and if I knew the whole nasty flesh wad thing...*shudders*

On a rather amusing note, my ex-boyfriend got insanely drunk last summer and decided to shove his name tag from work through his ear. My boyfriend was there and said he tried to stop him, then offered to go to Wal-Mart to buy some sewing machine needles to finish the piercing and some earrings. Apparently Mr. Ex decided not to. Haha. He didn't drink for awhile after that and waited for it to heal before he got them pierced at a tattoo gallery. What a dork.

 

and there's more, if you care to visit http://www.safepiercing.org/FAQ.html

 

like you said it is their decision and up to them. Before you let them get their ears peirced sit them down and explain to them that having their ears peirced is a responsibility until they heal they have to wash their ears and take good care of them or else they could get infected and get all icky. If they still want to get their ears pierced after the talk and are up for the pain and responsibility then go for it.

Don't go to the mall and get their ears pierced have a professional do it go to a tattoo/piercing shop or call ahead and tell them that you want to get your 3 year old daughters' ears pierced and get the price and ask if they will use needles or what and whatever other questions you may have. Or talk to their pediatrician about this and maybe they will do it i know that some pediatricians do pierce their patients ears up to a certain age for some reason. The reason i am saying not to take them to a mall is because those people are NOT professionals they just give some schmuck a piercing gun and show them once how to use and the rest is up to them. So before you get the actual piercing do some research and think it over on where you want to get your childs ears pierced.