A young lumberjack tired of his life; he decided he wanted to be something other than what he was. He traveled, and one day found himself in Alaska. He decided he wanted to be an Eskimo, so he found a tribe and asked one of the young men how he might become an Eskimo. The young Eskimo obtained for him a meeting with the three tribal elders, which would be held early the next morning. They sat at a paint-worn kitchen table out upon the frozen tundra. The lumberjack stood proudly before them and answered all of their questions. They found that his answers had been honest, therefore, they agreed to let him become an Eskimo; all he had to do was survive three rights of passage that each young Eskimo faced in order to become a man of the tribe. The lumberjack was willing and eager to begin. They told him that his first trial was to drink an entire gallon of whale blubber whiskey. They told him that his second trial would be to go into the not-to-distant mountains, kill a polar bear, and bring back its ripped off head as proof. They told him that his third and final trial would be to go into town and sleep with the town whore. If he survived all three trials, he could be an Eskimo. It took him until noon, but he finished the whale blubber whiskey. He immediately turned and staggered off toward the mountains. The elders sat patiently until he was no more than a staggering dot on the white horizon. Then, they stood up and went home. They returned to the table on the following morning and waited. Late in the afternoon, a small dot appeared on the horizon. It staggered up to the table sometime later. The lumberjack did not have the head of the bear to prove that he had killed it, but the elders could see that he had fought bravely; for he was gashed and ripped and bloody. The lumberjack staggered up to the table, steadied himself, and demanded, "Now, where's that whore you wanted me to kill?"
Funny one- I always heard it as the three things you have to do to become a real Alaskan- 1 Piss in the Yukon River 2.Kill a bear 3 Have sex with an eskimo same punch line.
