How to Speak New Zealand

Discussion in 'Australia' started by Bilby, Jun 11, 2005.

  1. Bilby

    Bilby Lifetime Supporter and Freerangertarian Super Moderator

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    This was originally posted in Random Thoughts by Bedlam.As it will soon be buried and since only people living in Australia will really relate to it and since making fun of Kiwi Speak is a national past time, I thought I would make this thread a sticky, unless anyone objects.

    How to speak New Zealand


    Milburn - capital of Victoria


    Peck - to fill a suitcase


    Pigs - for hanging out washing with


    Pump - to act as agent for prostitute


    Pug - large animal with a curly tail


    Nin tin dough - computer game


    Munner stroney - soup


    Min - male of the species


    Mess Kara - eye makeup


    McKennock - person who fixes cars


    Mere - Mayor


    Leather - foam produced from soap


    Lift - departed


    Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman


    Kittle crusps - potato chips


    Ken's - Cairns


    Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim


    Jungle Bills - Christmas carol


    Inner me - enemy


    Guess - vapour


    Fush - marine creatures


    Fitter cheney - type of pasta


    Ever cardeau - avocado


    Fear hear - blonde


    Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen


    Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym


    Duffy cult - not easy


    Amejen - visualise


    Day old chuck - very young poultry


    Bug hut - popular recording


    Bun button - been bitten by insect


    Beard - a place to sleep


    Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers


    Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline


    Beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests


    Veerjun - mythical New Zealand maiden


    One Doze - well known computer program


    Brudge - structure spanning a stream


    Sex - one less than sivven


    Tin - one more than nine


    Iggs Ecktly - Precisely


    Earplane - large flying machine


    Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport


    Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft


    Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft


    Cuds - children


    Pits - domestic animals


    Cuttin - baby cat


    Munce - usually served on toast
    __________________
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  2. Bilby

    Bilby Lifetime Supporter and Freerangertarian Super Moderator

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    I was actually thinking of starting a thread like this one.You managed to list many more than I could have.You missed the following:

    Dunnesty - US soap opera staring Alexis Kerrington.

    Sudney - State capital of NSW.

    Bid & Breakfast - Unlicensed accommodation hotel.

    Fush & chups - The original takaway food,originating from the Old Dart.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  3. FrozenMoonbeam

    FrozenMoonbeam nerd

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  4. Bilby

    Bilby Lifetime Supporter and Freerangertarian Super Moderator

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    Yea ok .I might start another thread on this one. Point no 7. What about the largely unintelligable sowff Lundin (South London) acccent?

    Point no 6. Afghani is a unit of currency. Would you like to be called a dollar, pound or Euro?

    Point no 3.That is because so many Australians eat margarine.
     
  5. bedlam

    bedlam Senior Member

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    bit late to object l guess..
     
  6. positive vibes

    positive vibes Member

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    hahah nice bedlam and bilby,
    we know its all in good jeest towards our friends across the Tazmin, hehe :)
     
  7. Bilby

    Bilby Lifetime Supporter and Freerangertarian Super Moderator

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  8. FrozenMoonbeam

    FrozenMoonbeam nerd

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    lol, more unintelligible, yes..less bloodcurdling..no. :)
     
  9. Bilby

    Bilby Lifetime Supporter and Freerangertarian Super Moderator

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    I am dissapointed. I thought I was going to cop a heap of abuse from our cousins across the Tasman. I will unstick the the thread.
     
  10. positive vibes

    positive vibes Member

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    mmm i thought so as well Bilby,,, perhaps they are all lovers not fighters.
     
  11. Trickster

    Trickster Misfit

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    CHEERS FOR BOONIE
    We are all Aussie blokes and sheilas, and we are all best mates. On this soil we grow our fruit and veg and run sheeps and cows as our fathers and our fathers' fathers also did so (note: and before that, the aborigines did it).
    We are Aussies and we love youse all from other countries, even Kiwis, even though we take the piss quite a lot.

    We love footy, barbies and getting shitfaced on Friday night, especially on Fridays when the footy's on the tele.

    We are known far and wide as 'Bronzed Aussies' because we win lots of bronze medals at the olympics.

    We are the best country ever in the history of the universe.

    Boonie is a legend.

    Amen.
     
  12. Aussie_Student_86

    Aussie_Student_86 Member

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    Hey FrozenMoonBeam,

    Now nobody loves a bit of a joke more than Aussies do but for fuck's sake mate, we don't sing that verse of the anthem...I have never heard it sung and I hope we will never have to sing about some dumb pom who claimed Australia for the British Empire.

    NObody drinks that Fosters Blue Label shite for one reason...it's shit. Fosters have made better beers before, Carlton Draught and VB.

    Isn't it true that Maoris are the people in NZ who happen to outnumber whites in jails mainly as a result of racial discrimination like there has been in Australia?

    We dont have guys like the Mongrel Mob and those other guys punching on in the streets..although we have a moment the other year when some drunk fucks went beating lebanses guys.

    Oh and the other thing...Germaine Greer, I have sympathy to the feminit.
     
  13. The website bagging Australia was not funny because every point was obvious to any intelligent person.
     
  14. Party Princess

    Party Princess Member

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    I remember when the Inside Rugby magazine came out a few years back there used to be a "Letter from over the Ditch" at the back of the magazine and believe me my whole family would pee ourselves laughing over the letters cos they were so funny (cos everything was spelt with a New Zealander accent)...
     

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