My future as a Hip forumer

Hi, as we all know everyone on the Hipfora plays a role. Well, except for those who take themselves too seriously ofcourse. My role used to be that of the sexist village idiot who makes dumb and unfounded comments and is a bit more than a little unintelligent.
Yes friends, I think it is time for me, bird, to play a different role.

What role should I play next:

Mayhaps a wise, old hippie who has a friendly word for everyone and has always a good story to tell and advise to give?

A young, naieve girl who is clueless about life, overbored and chronically depressed and looks up to everyone who shows even the smallest amount of interest in her subculture?

Or maybe a middleaged, fat, bald guy who has just gone through a bad divorce and a midlifecrise and is now looking for a new meaning to make his pathetic slave-life worth living?

Or something different? Post here what role I should play; I am open to all suggestions and we will democratically decide what I shall become next.

Love, bird.

 

I would like you to be my butler. I would call you James and you would get my car, put my condom on my penis when I was to have sex, insert it in the pussy and move the pussy for me. You could also carry me on your shoulders because everyone has to do their part against the greenhouse effect - to save on gasoline. I would like you also to get a job in addition of serving me (for free) and donate your pay to me. My account number is 2958685 if you could have your pay transferred in there.

Thank you, you are a parrot among dirty birds who shit on my car.

 

How much I like the idea of being your personal parrot, I have to refuse because of the smell.

 

What if I promise to start washing every two weeks from now on?

 

That is indeed a nice offer. Does that mean you wash me completely or just my private parts?

 

Well, do you leave lots of feathers in the bathtub? I don't want to do it twice...and can I start calling you James right away?

 

i think you should play a bitter angry 42 yr old woman , former owner of a new age bookstore.... who despises her circumstances and regrets her past and doubts the possibility of happiness or usefullness in future .she should regularly berate the overly blissfull and optimistic posters

 

Yeah but, if he does, James will sound funny for a woman...

 

Good suggestions so far people, keep them coming.

 

sort of a lauren bacall with larengitis ?

 

James still sounds funny for a girl...

 

Not if it is a bearded girl.

 

I say take on the role of Homer Simpson.

 

Good idea, Sky. Homer is one of my favorite heroes.

 

Make your posts haiku only.

 

good idea, my friend
as a puppy I will try
then, my work is done
​

 

Excellent verse, Bird
Compact and easy to read
I might try it too​

 

talk haiku together
mouth to toe and back again
oh how I enjoy
​

 

Typing on keyboards
Send through high speed internet
Ancient poetry​

 

oh the paradox
you talk about and describe
is just imaginary
​