disregard for me or who he is?

I really wanna know if anybody experienced this and what you think. I'm on the fence, some times I think one..... other times i think the other.

My boyfriend will do what I ask but only if he is right there with me. He'll agree to do future stuff but then something always happens. If he is here in the house and I ask him to go do the shopping for me, he will or if I ask him to go fix my grandma's car, he will. But if i ask him to come home by a certain time so i can go shopping, he agrees but ends up not making it for one reason or another. If i say (while he's here) "help me get the hampers to the car so i can wash", he'll not only do it but stay with me and actually help with the laundry. But if I say " I need you to move the hampers to the car in the morning", morning comes and he's either not here or somebody calls and he just HAS to go.

The first question I ask myself is do I think he intends to follow thru when he says yes.....yes i do. Cause he's the type to say no if he means no.

Second question is then why does it never get done? is it just a character flaw or is he just too selfish to consider me?

I'm trying to figure if its a disregard for me or something I should just know about him and deal with. Am I making sense?

 

You're making perfect sense. I'm the same way. I'm willing to bet that things slip his mind if he puts them off. Leave him notes to remind him. Text messages, stickies, or something. If he still doesn't do the tasks that are delayed then I'd think deeper into it.

 

everybody agrees with this?

 

Not to sound mean, but could it be that maybe you ask too much of him?

I don't know if it is or not- just thought its possible.

 

He just sounds laid back.Don't read anything deep into it - just accept it in good humour and give him a boot up the ass occasionally.If he's into you,enjoy it while its there.I'd love to meet a women who wouldn't bare a grudge because I don't know it's Valentines Day

 

-to luckystripe's post-



nah, its not that. I probably ask him to do one or two things a week if that. the lifting stuff mostly because i'm pregnant and having problems

i'm just noticing cause he didn't do something very important today

 

I don't know then. If you haven't all ready I'd say the best thing would be to talk to him about it (calmly)

 

I don't know your specific situation but maybe sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him. Let him know that you're pregnant and need help and that you want to be able to tell him how much you appreciate him inside of nagging him all the time. That's what the rational me would do the irrational me would get the locks changed and file papers for early child-support since your condition is preventing you from finding a job since he dropped the ball today

 

when I talk to him, he just further explains what went wrong

like today, we were supposed to help my grandma move to NC. we needed him to drive..not even load or unload (we had people for that). there were three vehicles so we needed three responsible drivers. he was supposed to help but couldn't be found. we finally had to let one of the loaders drive. after we dropped the uhaul and grandma's car stayed w/ her, pregnant me and three of my kids had to ride back 3 hours with two 19 year old guys I never met before (and they were assholes, one tried to invite his girlfriend and 'cop some weed for the ride!') we're lucky to be safe

5 hours after we were supposed to leave VA, he calls and says that he was sleep and just woke up. when i'm telling him how he left us in a bad situation, he's like "whadda want me to to do, I was sleep. i stayed up late"

 

Sometimes guys just space. (so do some women, but I"ve experienced it much more often with men)

Since he isn't a jerk when you ask him for immediate help, I think he might just forget (something shiny comes along and he totally forgets what he was supposed to do)

I wouldn't depend on him for stuff when he is not around since it seems to lead to disappointment far too often.

 

LMAO.....so true

that's what I was thinking. he's not a bad guy, i just can't count on him unless he's within arm's reach. its just sucks feeling like the only adult in the house

 

I work, cook every meal, clean, clean more,do laundry and all my girl does is meth and try to help with normal everyday things as her trust fund kills her brain.

You have no issues other than a semi- lazy man, your life is good.

 

Well this is a toughie. Do you need him to do something everytime he comes to see you? If the answer is yes, no matter how little it may seem to you, to him it's too much. He might be avoiding you or trying to see if you really need him to do this stuff. Just sit down and decide on a list of stuff that sounds fair to the both of you.

 

Your boyfriend isnt one of your children. he isnt always going to obey

 

exactly he isn't a child so why is he acting like one? He shouldn't have to obey he should just do it. What age do you guys mature again? I've dated some really old guys and still have not found one man that is mature. Do you guys ever grow up-seriously? I would like to know so I can either go ahead and learn not to count on men now or if I can still hold hope that there's somone out there who will treat me right and be competent and secure in everyway. Until I find one who will I am just going to accept funtimes and keep my legs crossed.

 

Can fun times and legs crossed exists simultaneously?

 

Why is it again that maturity means cutting off balls and handing them to women? Im not making excuses for some guy i dont know but c'mon lynsey! Not you too!

 

Missfontella - do you do meth?
If not, I would suggest breaking up with this guy and getting together with the6peace8keeper. He does a lot of shit around the house and if you don't do meth, you will be a welcome change into his life.

 

hah for me yes-for the guy depends...their choice I'm not making them do things for me or take me places, it's their idea. They know the deal I am perfectly open in saying I don't have sex outside of serious relationships and that I am finally healthy and not bogged down by classes and thin again so it's gonna take a lot for me to want a serious relationship. I mean I don't think it's wrong if I'm honest. Maybe I'm naive in thinking their main goal is my company.

 

That's what I was just thinking