i'm still waffling. we've been actively unschooling for a long time, but now my kiddo is 'school aged'. he's signed up for sept, but we can always cancel if we want to. i think i'm goign to sign up for a homeschooling curriculum as well, just in case. i have to decide by the end of sept, so that the govt can decide where his funding goes. he's on the autism spectrum and is gifted, so school is goign to be a really strange experience for him... academics are going to be boring, but the social stuff and the basics of attending to task in group situations would be a huge challenge. the school district wont give him his own teacher's aide, even though he gets all kinds of extra funding as an aspie kid. i just dont think that school would work out very well, and i have some issues with what they teach, and how they do it. kindergarten is mostly play and social skills based, so i dont know if they can really do much damage, i really dont want him 'dumbed down' or to have that institutionalized mindset that public schooled kids have, but i dont know if i can give my time, energy, and sacrifice my stuff for his education either. honestly. i just dont know if i have it in me. i really want to go back to school, and i'm a single mom, i work... how on earth do you balance everything? how do i make it all work? ::sigh:: sort of rhetorical questions, i guess
my younger kiddo is differently abled and at the time i was at the decision making of home n school i flip flopped for the kindergarten year,,, sent her n then pulled her out,,,, but,,,, because she did need some of the things that the public school could give her at the time,,,, although it took alot of bickering n meetings etcin order to get that help i sent her to public school,,,, now looking back i wish i could have kept her home and schooled her but like you i was a single mom of two was married to work on the dairy... its something only you can decide upon,,, and its ok to worry n wonder ,,, you may send him n then pull him out,,, maybe vice versa,,, its all good for the frist year or so,,,,... its when they get a bit older when i have real difficulties with in n out situations,,, although i deal with it constantly with my older one...
Don't know if you remember or not, but I was seriously considering homeschooling my oldest last summer, who just finished kindergarten not long ago. I don't know how the schools are where you will be sending your little guy but here, kindergarten is anything but play and social skills. Here they have them go 5 days a week, from 8:00 AM-1:40 PM. The only play time they really had was during their half an hour recess. They had those kids working hard! His teacher told me that kindergarten is nothing like it used to be. Both my husband and I were shocked. I mean, kindergarten was all fun and playtime when we went. Now it's completely different, the schools are under enormous pressure with the Leave No Child Behind crap. Now granted, my son did beautifully in kindergarten (I homeschooled him through preschool), and I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. However, I was simply blown away at what they want those kids doing at such an early age! Anyway. Just figured I'd give you a heads-up. It may be different where you would potentially be sending your little guy, but that's how it was here for us. {{{Hugs}}}
It depends on where your kids go. Sage and I wanted a more acedemic Kindergarten, and our school only goes for 2.5 hours a day, and they do very little acedemics. (But a LOT of singing and playing and, well, Kindergarten stuff.) She was going down to the First Grade, with the small group of first graders who were doing Second Grade and Third Grade work, for reading, most days, by Easter. When I did ask about more acedemics,in the beginning, the principal first told me "Kindergarten is about socializing." and then, when she finished the entire K curriculum by Halloween, and started getting bored and missing school because "I played with my freinds yesterday, today I want to stay home and read." the Principal relented and did more acedemics first with a computer program and then by sending her down to the First Grade classrooms. If you get an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) or a 504 Plan (meaning "reasonable accomodations for differently abled children") then he will probably get an Aide with the IEP and accomodations with the 504. In our state you NEED a diagnosis, from a psychologist, neurologist or even a Pediatrician to get either an IEP or a 504 Plan. They WON'T offer them, you have to inquire. (Sunshine and Moon had 504s, due to S's Tourette's and severe ADHD and Moon's slight ADD, but a TERRIBLE 4th grade teacher. Nice thing about a 504 is that they carry it through. Moon got TWO sets of book in HS, because ADD kids are considered "forgetful" and that was not only helpful, as she IS forgetful, but her backpack weighed over 30 lbs before I looked into using the 504 for a second set of books.) You may want to ask the other parents in the area, (if they pay attention, it is amazing that some parents have NO idea what their kids do all day) what is done in YOUR Kindergarten. It may be an all day, work like a dog affair or more like extended preschool. The parents will be probably more honest with you than the Administration, I have found, if you talk to people who parent as you do. What about a Montesorri or other alternative school? He may do really well there.
autistic children (adults too) are usually highly sensitive to certain things. bright lights, the smell of harsh cleaning chemicals, too much noise, too many people, and other things like that can really push us over the edge. When we get overstimulated, it causes all sorts of other problems, problems concentrating, uncontrollable rage, hyperactivity, and more (things many parents simply attempt to medicate away rather than dealing with what is causing it in the first place). I hated school from the very first day because of that, and I know that my autistic child would never fare well in a public school environment with it's structure and schedules, she would do as I did, and fight it every step of the way. Not to mention the social stigma of being "different" from the other kids, and treated like you have a deathly contagious disease. You are the mama, how traumatic is school going to be for your kid? some kids do great in school, but some do not. some kids do great with school at home, some do not. some kids do best with a totally unstructured unschooling approach, which is what I chose for my children based on what works best for them and for me. Some parents just aren't cut out for that approach, and you have to take into consideration not only what will work for your child, but for you as well. If what you are doing now works, why change it just because other kids his age are starting school?
we've had a couple of meetings with his kindy teacher already. it's only 2 1/2 hrs per day and she's the one who said that it's play based, not academics based. i really wanted to send him to waldorf school, but that's just not happening. i dont think that private schools get the extra autism funding from the govt that public schools get, so we'd have to find some way of paying for a TA out of pocket. ::sigh:: he's been in a preschool style daycare for a few hours/week for the last month or so, and really seems to like it. he's had an interventionist with him though, to help him thru transitions and help 'translate' the other's kids social behaviours and vice versa, and to pull him out for sensory diet activities. he's not goign to have his own TA in kindy. there's not enough funding, so he would have to share with other kids. good point, but wont homeschooling him make him even more different than his peers? i mean, he's already on special diets and cant eat the same things as his peers, has special interests and doesnt 'get' what the other kids are interested in. so if he's homeschooled too, it's going to make him even more different. ::sigh:: yeah, right now, he's not really very routine focused, so i dont think it's goign to be a big impact that way. i'm sort of thinking that there's no way of really knowing how it's going to work out unless we give it a try. he's already got a 'plan of intervention' which is like a preliminary iep, so they have to make allowances for him with that. the school district's OT has been his private OT so at least she already knows him. i talked to some other moms of asd kids recently and they told me to keep 'whining' for services until we get what he needs. hahaha. i'm not a whiner, but i've seen 'the squeaky wheel get the grease' in other situations. i think it's probably going to end up being okay. with only 2 1/2 hours of school a day, we're goign to keep unschooling anyways. he's got so many interests and is so driven to learn everything about them that he can that he keeps us really busy collecting resource materials for him, etc. i'm just glad that his special interests change every couple of months. (yay! no more origami, now we're onto bugs!) ps, a lot of his sensory issues have gone away with the special diet he's on. he used to have supersonic hearing that was really distracting for him, couldnt listen to singing or any kind of music at all, couldnt have wetness on his hands, etc... that's all normalized now. i can actually listen to music again without having him start screaming. i love it, he even sings now. and we're incredibly blessed in that he has a very very very happy temperament. sometimes i worry about him because he's so damned happy, i wonder if he knows how to show sad, anxious, concerned, etc. he's pretty good at angry, but luckily that doesnt happen very often.
I don't think so... all I know is my own personal experience with school, and how it never made me less different, just made me keep trying so hard to be like everyone else. And, made me feel bad about myself because I'm different. I think homeschooling, and having a great homeschool support group with lots of other families (our local public schools are nearly the very worst in the nation so there's no shortage of homeschool families to socialize with), has helped my child have more friends and be more accepted than she would if she were in public school.
well, that's another area that's kindof touchy. we've already hung out with a few of the families that are in the homeschooling group and have been treated like shit by some of them because of my son's quirks. the eclectic homeschoolers are very exclusionary when it comes to kids with special needs, and i've heard from another mom that they're just exclusionary altogether~she didnt like their group either and her kids are all 'normal'. so, if i decide to homeschool, we're either on our own, or we could join up with the christian homeschoolers. hahaha! not really going to happen~they're a reallly lovely group of people, we've spent a bit of time with them, but the ideologies just dont match at all ...us being neo-pagan, new-age type folks and all
yeah, we have some issues with the eclectic homeschoolers here, too, but it's mainly just one or two of the other moms who make me feel bad, not their kids making my kid feel bad. so I keep going every now and then, for my childrens' sake, and I'll play with the kids in favor of talking to the other moms when we go to meetings. Mostly we just call up some of the other homeschoolers and do one-on-one playdates and stuff instead of group activities. We all manage to do better in a smaller group than with all 30 of the families in our eclectic homeschool group. Plus, a couple of my very closest mommy friends now are xtian homeschoolers, which rather suprised me at first. as long as they don't start trying to indoctrinate my children, we get along great. Maybe you could start your own homeschool group? I've pondered that many times myself.
I just talked about this with the developmental specialist concerning my son. (he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome on Thursday) Amongst all the other things we discussed, I mentioned that my husband & I had been considering putting our son into public school so that SOMEONE would recognize and help figure out how to help him with his differences. But we had been afraid that he would slip through the cracks, as nothing I've seen as "special ed" would really help or fit his specific differences. The doctor immediately said, "You're right. Your son WOULD slip through the cracks, and if there's any way for you to continue to homeschool him I would strongly suggest it at this point." This is for a 4th grader with less than average math skills and accellerated reading & science skills. Obviously I do feel that homeschooling *can* be a benefit to any child. But specifically with someone with special needs, public schools just don't have the ability to help each child individually. It's not their fault, either. These children literally need one-on-one help in some areas. And a school with a thousand (or more) kids in it just does not have enough staff to give each child a personal tutor. I believe that they do the best that they can, with what they have. But I also feel that with effort, I can do a little better... just because I DO have the time & resources to give my kids one-on-one attention and hand-tailor their education to their specific needs. I'll be honest, I've had a tough time learning to adapt what I thought would work for my son, with what we have actually found to work. Sometimes schooling feels like an uphill struggle, and there are days when all I want to do is roll over and shout "I QUIT!" But he is learning. And he is very VERY bright. Because he has advanced skills in some subjects but is woefully behind in others though, I can only imagine the problems he would cause within a public school setting. Homeschooling isn't always easy. And it's been tough to homeschool my son. But I do feel that it is the best option for him. I don't know if this is unique to my state or not, but in Minnesota Kindergarten is not counted as formal education. If you were to homeschool him just for this next year, you might not be regulated under the same set of rules a typical homeschooling family is. You could use it as a practice year, and kind of get the hang of things without having to do irritating things like sending in quarterly reports. Good luck If you would like, please feel free to contact me either through the list or via email. I would be happy to share my experiences with you love, mom
See what vibe you get from the teacher. I've been in some different special ed rooms, and some of those teachers love those kids as much as a good parent would. Lots of hugs, patience, and encouragement. (It is interesting to note that most retired teachers that substitute REFUSE to be in the special ed rooms because they know they don't have the right stuff.)
the school is totally dicking us around. they get an extra 16 grand to have my kid in their classroom for 2 1/2 hours a day. and they want him to share a teachers aide with 4 or 5 other kids. i just cant see it working out. we've been phoning the mla, the mp, the school superintendant, the principal, the special needs liason person, the everyone we can think of to get him the help that he deserves, that he's entitled to and that he needs. and we're not making much progress. the t.a's have already been hired for the year. school starts next freakign week. i dont know if i have it in me emotionally to homeschool him. it's just kindergarten though. mannnnn..... i dont want them turning him into a mindless automaton either. he's soooooooooo freaking thirsty for knowledge right now. schools drive that out of pple. i know, i've been there.. i think i'm going to end up homeschooling him. i really reallly reallly wanted private school for him, but because he has special needs, they're just not equipped to meet his needs. dammit the academic part is going to be easy. simple. the kid's really bright and really wants to learn. it's the social part that's going to be harder if we homeschool~not that the kind of socialization that kids get in school is all that great. i never wanted him to be peer-age-segregated. and kids can be sooooooo mean. asperger's kids are like bully magnets.
