To make a long story short, its over between me and my man. I met him early 2002 when I was young virginal girl. Got pregnant in year within knowing him, and since then it has been a down hill slide. I really feel like my daughter is the glue that has been keeping me from just walking out the door so many times before. Well now I am, and its going to be difficult because ever since I met him I have been dependant on him. So I got a job two months ago, and that is brining in some moola but Im worried it wont be enough to support my child and I. He said he would help out but Im not sure if he will stick to it or find a reason not to. He wants to be apart of our child's life, and I think he is a good Dad. However he has lots of things he needs to work on. So do I.... He really has been holding me back, and has been very possessive. Its hard for me to even go and visit friends without him making an issue and sulking about it. But he has no problems leaving whenever he wants, getting high, and me being his tag along at his buddies house. Last week I went on a 3 day womens gathering in Northern Cali. He threw a whiny FIT and called me selfish, and I was neglecting the family by going on this trip. I let him know months in advance, payed for ALL of it, and didnt even use HIS (ever since things got nasty he has been taking control over all things) vehicle. It was the first time I got to be away from him and my daughter since I was pregnant. I really got some good healing there. Im tired of reminding him to pay bills because he will just blow it on things he doesnt need. So basically he is really unwise about money. On top of that he is immature, and its so hard for me to communicate. He either ends up calling me names in front of my girl, ignoring me, yelling at me, or the worst blaming everything on me. So now I am going through the process of liberating myself. I feel relief and sadness at the same time. Now I can actually go Salsa dancing with my girls, or go get a massage without being made to feel terrible. That little shit head.
Maybe he felt the need to keep you close as he was afraid of loosing you to some other, like he knows your too good for him sort of thing, but no matter what it is good that you feel better and are on a road to happiness. For the childs sake I hope you two can be civil to each other. May you enjoy your new found freedom and all of your find happiness.
Thats what I think too. He had a fear of me leaving him, because all his other relationships ended like that.... Yes we need to be civil for the sake of our daughter, but its hard for him. He is feeling very hurt and transforming that into a disgust for me. It makes me angry, and I keep telling him he needs to treat me with respect like any human being deserves. He even treats strangers or his friends better than he does me now. Oh yeah, and when I was gone to my event last weekend I found that he had created a profile on a online dating site, and was browsing through possible females in our area. He did that 3 days in a row. How lame. Thanks though, its good for the doors of possibility to be wide open.
Thats funny in a pathetic way looking on dating sites already like that. Well maybe he has a fear of being alone but lacks the common sense to care for what he needs so badly.
So are ya gonna book outta there or stay? If you're booking what's so lame in his looking? *confused* If you're staying perhaps he is confused as to your intentions based on his Past?
It is lame and even said it was lame after I found all the sites in the history. He was looking at them even before I officialy said it was off. He says he loves me so much, but there is he is in my absence looking for other girls in the area.
Well all I can say here is more power to you. Move on; you deserve better and for all his claming he loves you, doesn't seem like it when he's looking for other possible matches befre you told him it's over.
Cosmic --you've been used.Most women ,when young,it seems, are susceptable to insecure men and it usually turns out what the man really wants is sex,companionship(when HE wants it )and a surrogate mommy to wash their clothes,cook ,take major care of kid/s ,ect,ect.Fortunately,I was old enough when I had kids,that the result is that my boys cook, clean,do yardwork,fix cars,do laundry whatever else is necessary ,AND work.-----You are old enough now to REALLY SEE how a man is ,before you commit to another thumb sucker.Don't worry about him--he'll find another mommy.There seems to be no end to women that like to be mistreated(not implying you did--you got the usual man-type slick-talk)Good luck to you and the little one---freedom will feel great!
I know Im young and all ... But I think that if you left it would be better for you and your child. It sounds like he is an abusive or will be come an abusive man, and could harm you eventually. It might be hard at first but Im sure you can manage. And maybe by leaving him he will learn a lesson out of this. And you should do things you want to do, enjoying life. Although as long as it does not interfear with the childs well being ..I think it is perfectly okay. Stay strong and good luck. Best Wishes.
Thank you everyone for your support.... What happened 4 mins ago: I just got off the phone with him and he such a pig. He was accusing me of being on the net and having internet relationships which is totally fucking false. Hipforums, Myspace, and Tribe are my things. So he felt justified by going on the dating service because he said "I killed him". What an asshole. He cannot specifically point out any situations or any clue of me doing what he accused. Only that one time I freaking typed in a wrong link, and it took me to an adult chat site, and another some guy on MSN messenger had perverted massage therapist fantasies. My guy claimed that I was having an online affair with this weirdo, and I didnt even know him! UGH! He even thinks those random sex junk emails you get were real people emailing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an idiot. He said he just has that feeling like "he knows" because he is so arrogant and he is a mystic psychic wanna be. Its fucking ridiculous, Im tired of a guy who thinks they are so "aware" and fucking "spiritual" that they are egotistical jerks. Your average Leo guy, so prideful and now he is like the story of the lion with a thorn in his paw...Fuck him. Fuck wanna be spiritual guys because they are not. They are just pretending to have the "power", and they look down the so called average people around them. He ended up ending the conversation conviently because he was to busy to talk(he has work at a group home). I was basically asking him tell me what he claims to know about my sins etc, and of course he was being all vague and mysterious. Giving me arrogant energy. Fuck him. Stupid liar.
I went through a similar thing a few years ago (when I was 22) with a girl who was also a Leo. She accused me of cheating on her with about all of the girls I was friends with, and also people from message boards etc. One time an old friend from high school that i hadn't heard from in yer called, and my girl accused me of it being my secret lover. Maybe it's a leo thing, or maybe they're just crazy. Just keep being the beautiful person you are and know you deserve better. Make sure a guy treats you right, we aren't all assholes.... someday you'll find a nice one.
