well iv been in love wit this gal n she loves me to.. but iam kinda over possessive.. i don like her talkin 2 any guy friends.. i know its not possible in practical life i get sad wen she does it.. somehow i am not able 2 share her even .1% she says am overboard wit possessiveness..mayb i am but i trust her 100% jus that i cant take up she talkin to guys can u help me guys.. pls
you are overboard, possessive, and controlling if you don't want her talking to ANY guys She chose to be with YOU, not with other guys. There's nothign wrong with having friends of the opposite gender. This is YOUR hangup, it's not because of her. This sort of behaviour is one of the first steps in abusive relationships... and I personally would've fled if a guy told me he didn't want me speaking to -any- men
yes i accept.. i dunno like i alrdy had 2 brk ups.. i mean one jus left me for a frnd of mine.. n the other i stil dunno y.. so wen tis one has been goin good for 3 yrs now and so far she din talk 2 ny guy.. suddenly she started i mean they r like guys who had crush on her.. n so on.. n one guy is whom she first had a crush 3 yrs back... so am afraid if il get dumped
women don't like neurotic, needy men and you're coming off as really insecure, which is a huge turn off
This was hard to read, so please correct me if I have mistaken something here. You say you trust her, but not the other guys that want to talk to her. What exactly do you think is going to happen if she talks to them? Do you think she will like them better than you? Perhaps leave you for them? Maybe you need to believe in your own qualities a little more and believe that she digs you for who you are regardless of who anyone else is or what they have. And I really would seek professional help for this. You are young and you can change your mindset. There is absolutely no way in hell I would ever be with a man who wouldn't let me talk to other guys, or have guy friends. (especially since I'm a bit of a tomboy). It is ironic, the other night I was waiting for my client at the Y and there were two men talking to this woman. She was in her 40's I'd guess and the guys were a few years older perhaps. She was only talking about exercise, and having a completely innocent conversation. Her husband came up, butted in and gave her a very mean look, then walked away. Then she turned to the men and said to them, that she was not allowed to talk to other men because her husband gets jealous. Then she looked at me for some sort of approval. I said "then he isn't much of a man if you ask me, and I sure as hell wouldn't put up with that shit". My point is this will follow you for the rest of your life and make relationships nearly impossible if you don't try to work on it now.
Is your relationship somewhat new, or the first major "love" one? A lot of time in those cases there comes a VERY possessive stage, but it passes. It's not wrong to be protective/possessive - what's wrong is enforcing it too much. Remember, if she loves you as much as you love her - she feels the same way about you, and if you'd never hurt her, she'd never hurt you. Right? Right. Think about how many other girls you talk to on this forum, after all. No harm done there.
You're asking to much of her to *never* talk to another guy. I can understand why you feel insecure due to your past, but this girl has been with you for 3 years and just because one of the guys she's talking to has a crush on her, it doesn't mean she feels the same. Honestly, you need to try and rationalise this and realise it's your insecurity and work on it as such; write about it, talk about it, anything you need to to work yourself past it, but you really need to leave it behind you otherwise it'll destroy your relationship with her.
what about when she gets a job? She isn't allowed to talk to her male coworkers or superiors? Not allowed to talk to male customers? jeez
dude... being protective and possessive as you is really tiring and requires a lot of energy... and you have been doing this for 3 years?... I got to say... you did put some effort in to this relationship... but it just in the wrong place... it may be okay to be possissive for the first like... 6 months?... but after that... it should be based on trust... and since you do trust her... there shouldn't be any problem there... I think you should ease up a bit... like lower the level of possessiveness... like let her talk to other friends... and ask her to share what they talked about... or try to join their conversation... get your answer through talking to her... if anything changes... you will notice... trust me on that... of course if she is a real bitch and play this game before, she may end up burning you.... but still...
